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Home » No Kidding There I Was » No Kidding There I Was…JSOC Access Denied

No Kidding There I Was…JSOC Access Denied

by A SOFREP Reader · December 1, 2012 · Posted In: No Kidding There I Was
STF
So, there I was…a “War Baby” as the cadre called me, attending Special Operations Preparation Course at 18 years old.

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Alas, my story starts before then and it is one that made an everlasting impression on my character. I begin my experience as I drive through the gate at Ft. Bragg, fresh from OSUT and Airborne. I had just turned 18 and still had my parental consent forms hot in my pocket that allowed me to sign up at 17. I was a cherry to the Army, Infantry, Airborne, and being away from home on my own in general. Needless to say, much confusion ensued as I entered Ft. Bragg – “Home of Special Operations Forces.”

MapQuest (yeah, remember that?) had gotten me this far but it was up to my own sense of direction to get me to the SOPC holding area. After driving around for what seemed like an hour, partly due to apparently HAVING to stop for EVERY soul that wanted to cross the road, I found a sign that said JSOC and a guarded gate. Now, you would think I would know what this means but I don’t and my only guidance from Ft. Benning was that “It’s a dump, you should find it.” Thanks bud. Whoever you are, I hate you.

So, since this is the first sign I see that had three of the four letters I was looking for (SOPC? JSOC? close enough) I turned toward the gate. I am in a ’97 Dodge Dakota, looking frail and too small to be the correct owner of the vehicle as I approach the gate. I see some fences and a bunch of wood line with no buildings in sight. I thought this had to be it, SF guys tucked into the woods away from everyone else, ya I am going to be a Rock Star rolling through here. I roll down my window and hang my arm out with my ID in hand. I begin to talk to the guard (POG I thought to myself) and I rattle off way too much information than needed. He looked me up and down, absorbed my ignorance, and cut me off midsentence. All he did was point in the direction I came from and said, “Turn around, leave, don’t come back.”

I was crushed. This guy wasn’t joking. Denied access? I was thinking I was black listed and kicked from the program. Even that I was maybe a day late and they started without me. I drive further with my tail tucked between my legs and stop at a park that looked friendly. I then do what everyone does when they run out of options, I called mommy. I explained everything pathetically and she said, “I’m on it, I’ll call you back.” Not but 30 minutes later, my mom calls back and says, “Someone should be calling you soon.” A guy calls me, chuckles when he confirms that is was my mother that had called him, and told me how to get to where I needed to go.

When I show up, it is a dump as described, but the guy that was on the phone immediately tells me to cut the crap with the “yes sergeant, no sergeant” and waved off my picture perfect parade rest. His demeanor was calm and confident. I smirked and thought this is where I belong. He then asked if I had an E-Tool. I said yes. He followed up with, “Dig a hole, you’re late.”

This was just report day. We had many more experiences, including 24 hours of changing into different variations of uniforms (ex: Class A jacket, PT shorts, combat boots). Each piece had to be in perfect inspection condition, because we were inspected every hour of the 24 hours. If we couldn’t play by “Big Boy Rules” then we received corrective training or “F*ck-F*ck games” as described.

But the best experience that inspired this post came from when we were being taught SF history and a cadre randomly asked for someone to stand up and sing the National Anthem. Someone stood in front of the class, and we all got on our feet. He started singing and was nervous. The first line wasn’t even finished and the rest of the class joined in and we shook the walls of the compound that day. Each of us with hand on heart, praising our great nation deep in the North Carolina woods. No audience, no celebrity destroying its melody, only the men that would directly defend its honor.

I’ll never forget it.

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Amandaj021084
Amandaj021084 5pts

Perfect Story... Funny (GO MOM)  then brought tears to my eyes as I pictured ya'll singing! #AMERICA!!!

Trango
Trango moderator 5pts like.author.displayName 1 Like

Great story. LOL, admittedly even now I will turn to my mom for assistance on some projects. She's got twice as many years of professional experience and it doesn't cost anything except a few pictures of the grandkids. 

usapatriotonthemove
usapatriotonthemove 5pts like.author.displayName like.author.displayName 2 Like

Oh man.....That's GOOD STUFF!  Thanks for sharing, story's like this are priceless in my eyes.  Thanks for your service to our Great Country.   

RVN SF VET
RVN SF VET 5pts like.author.displayName like.author.displayName 2 Like

"No audience, no celebrity destroying its melody, only the men that would directly defend its honor." Very well said.

 

My mother got us air-conditioned buses to ride to the train station for weekend leave! It seems that the Fort Dix Transportation Officer wasn't doing his job, or that was what the commanding general told her. Sometimes our moms wore the beret. They were the last people generals wanted to mess with!

StormR
StormR 5pts like.author.displayName like.author.displayName 2 Like

 @RVN SF VET   Hey, there you are!  I was wondering if you got blown out to sea during Hurricane Sandy :)    Mothers are tough and absolutely know that we outrank every one when it comes to our kids.  About the only one who could back me down was my son :)

 

robgb
robgb 5pts

Haha you not the only guy that had the same experience as an Xray, good stuff. My first day at SOPC was packed full of fun! Best time of my life, the gig pit was amazing!

CIGARsmoke
CIGARsmoke 5pts

 @robgb I will be leaving for boot in a few weeks.  Im an 18xray.  I can do 100 push ups and run the 2mile in 13 40.  The physical aspect isnt what I am worried about.  Will I have enough training in land nav to get me through the Q, assuming I get there.

NaikalaniDDeCosta
NaikalaniDDeCosta 5pts

Awesome.

LewisC
LewisC 5pts

No Shit...great stuff, as usual.

flhtse05
flhtse05 5pts like.author.displayName 1 Like

Funny story. Thanks for your service! I tear up when I hear the National Anthem, that's what it means to me.

HugeFan
HugeFan moderator 5pts

"After driving around for what seemed like an hour, partly due to apparently HAVING to stop for EVERY soul that wanted to cross the road..." 

 

If that doesn't summarize what driving on an installation is like than I don't know what does! LMAO... Great write-up man! 

Blake Miles
Blake Miles 5pts like.author.displayName like.author.displayName like.author.displayName 3 Like

Great story haha... brought back memories. I know the exact gate he is talking about and I wouldn't recommend anyone drive up to it unless told to do so. Very happy I rode the bus from Benning. First few hours at SOPC was a nerve wracking experience, I could only imagine how much worse it would have been going solo.

StormR
StormR 5pts like.author.displayName like.author.displayName like.author.displayName like.author.displayName like.author.displayName like.author.displayName like.author.displayName 7 Like

Thank you for sharing your experience and great story with us.  Yup, mommies rule :)  

HugeFan
HugeFan moderator 5pts like.author.displayName like.author.displayName like.author.displayName 3 Like

 @StormR Agreed Stormy... Mommies do, in fact "rule". Someone says "Mama's boy" and a whole lot of guys start looking around... Save for those who had crummy mommies. Yeah! I said it!

engelbrad
engelbrad 5pts like.author.displayName like.author.displayName like.author.displayName like.author.displayName 4 Like

I love these "No Shit" articles! Great story!

ThomasVictorio
ThomasVictorio 5pts like.author.displayName 1 Like

Great story. 

But I can't help but notice for an institution as theirs, some niceties by a sentry to a fellow serviceman would've made a bright start to a young man's day.

Old PH2
Old PH2 moderator 5pts like.author.displayName like.author.displayName like.author.displayName like.author.displayName like.author.displayName like.author.displayName like.author.displayName like.author.displayName like.author.displayName like.author.displayName like.author.displayName like.author.displayName like.author.displayName like.author.displayName like.author.displayName 15 Like

 @ThomasVictorio I must share this, so bear with me.  When I reported to my first command I arrived at the Squadron's Hangar and was stopped at the gate to have my papers looked at by the Gate guard.  The typically rude E-2, took my orders out of the manilla envelope and read them.  He looked up with tears in his eyes, grabbed me by the shoulders and planted a big wet sloppy kiss on my lips and announced that: "You're My replacement!"  

 

I was thinking WTF did I just sign up for?

 

This guy's lucky he just needed directions! 

HugeFan
HugeFan moderator 5pts like.author.displayName like.author.displayName like.author.displayName 3 Like

 @Old PH2  @ThomasVictorio If a man ever kissed me because he was so elated that he would no longer have to put with this BS, then and only then; would I start thinking about a career change... and I have seen some KA-RAAAAAAAAAAAAAZY shit. Good on ya PH for not going AWOL right then and there!

MelMc
MelMc 5pts like.author.displayName like.author.displayName 2 Like

Loved this! Kudos to your mommy for being on it!!!! Thanks for writing this up and sharing with all of us!

Tango9
Tango9 moderator 5pts like.author.displayName like.author.displayName like.author.displayName like.author.displayName like.author.displayName like.author.displayName like.author.displayName like.author.displayName like.author.displayName like.author.displayName 10 Like

I haven't laughed like this in a bit... thanks for sharing man.

 

"But the best experience that inspired this post came from when we were being taught SF history and a cadre randomly asked for someone to stand up and sing the National Anthem. Someone stood in front of the class, and we all got on our feet. He started singing and was nervous. The first line wasn’t even finished and the rest of the class joined in and we shook the walls of the compound that day. Each of us with hand on heart, praising our great nation deep in the North Carolina woods. No audience, no celebrity destroying its melody, only the men that would directly defend its honor."

 

^^^

this.

Grigori
Grigori 5pts like.author.displayName like.author.displayName like.author.displayName 3 Like

 @Tango9 This has to be the best part, pass SFAS or not this took at the patriotism out of every X-Ray. I remember this happened to me back in 2003 during the Iraqi Invasion, when I first watched the movie Navy SEALs for the first time as a 12 year old. There is this dialogue between Sheen and Joanne Kilmer where she is telling him that even if they get some terrorist he won't speak much, her dialogue was:"These guys won't talk, you are dealing with religious zealots" and to this Sheen replies " They are dealing with the Navy SEALs" as soon as I heard that I jumped and pumping my fists shouted "Navy SEALs Hoo-Yah" and then my cousin shouted back :Sit down you crazy SOB".

Barnes
Barnes 5pts like.author.displayName like.author.displayName like.author.displayName like.author.displayName 4 Like

Hahah this is great. Funny stuff that you called your mom.

Iassen Donov
Iassen Donov 5pts like.author.displayName like.author.displayName like.author.displayName like.author.displayName like.author.displayName 5 Like

dude this shit is hilarious

 

who is the hooah??

KevinSVann
KevinSVann 5pts

LOL I love the picture perfect parade rest. Thanks for sharing.

wayneo79
wayneo79 5pts like.author.displayName 1 Like

FUNNY story with a great ending...

Way to go, Cherry!~ ;-  ] 

Grigori
Grigori 5pts like.author.displayName 1 Like

"Turn around.leave,don't come back" I can understand the shock that guy must have felt hearing that.  Awesome story.

JackMurphyRGR
JackMurphyRGR moderator 5pts like.author.displayName like.author.displayName like.author.displayName 3 Like

They never should have gotten rid of the gig pit at SOPC.  Great story!

HugeFan
HugeFan moderator 5pts like.author.displayName 1 Like

 @JackMurphyRGR I liked that because I have never been to a "gig pit" but can imagine that it is the more intense version of the "Wheatley Drills" (a la "punk in the middle drills" we had in wrestling) which I have had my fair share of...

Grigori
Grigori 5pts

 @JackMurphyRGR is SOPC a course before SFAS?

Canopylight
Canopylight 5pts like.author.displayName 1 Like

 @Grigori  @JackMurphyRGR For 18Xs it is.

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