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Home » Op-Ed » 2012: More Soldier Suicides Than Combat Deaths?

2012: More Soldier Suicides Than Combat Deaths?

by Jeffrey Carr · December 31, 2012 · Posted In: Op-Ed
2012: More Soldier Suicides Than Combat Deaths?
One heart-wrenching statistic that few like to talk about is the toll that combat takes on a soldier’s psyche. Four days ago, the Washington Post announced the apparent suicide of a Navy SEAL Commander in Afghanistan. Today, Stars and Stripes ran an article proclaiming “More Soldier Suicides Than Combat Deaths in 2012.” Here are the statistics from that article:

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Through November this year, potentially 303 active-duty, Reserve and National Guard soldiers took their own lives. In Afghanistan 212 soldiers were killed as of Dec. 7.

The trajectory for soldier suicides keeps getting worse.

With a month left in the year, the Army set a grim new record with 177 potential active-duty cases.

Last year, there were 165 confirmed suicides, which was also a record. Among Army Reserve and Guard soldiers potentially 126 took their own lives, up from 118 in all of 2011.

The numbers have increased despite a range of training and awareness programs instituted by the service in the last few years.

The article mentions new measures being discussed in Congress that have to do with removing personal firearms from the homes of “unstable soldiers.” That type of thinking scares me almost as much as the increasing suicide rate because it demonstrates how many of our elected leaders haven’t a clue as to how to address this problem. Removing one tool that could be used to kill oneself isn’t a solution. It’s a precaution, and an incomplete one at that.

There’s an obvious leadership problem in the U.S. Armed Forces when it comes to a) providing mental health training versus physical training, and b) recognizing and treating the early onset of mental health issues. This has to become a priority for whomever the new SECDEF is or I fear that we’ll see these numbers continue to rise.

(Featured Image Courtesy: SOCOM.mil)

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Austin IT
Austin IT 5pts like.author.displayName like.author.displayName like.author.displayName 3 Like

I see several failures across the board.  

 

Failure 1 - Lax recruiting standards from day one.  The initial blame goes to the the recruiture more worried about the numbers than the quality of the troop that he/she is entering in my service.  Then the blame goes to the NCOs not taking accountability over their troop.  Let's be honest, we all had troops that gotten passed along the system when some ROAD did not want to do the paper work to get the troop released. 

 

Failure 2 - Headquarters failed to comply with their mission statement of "Train & Equip".  When there is a decision to do a role out, you have to make sure the war fighter has all the tools on hand to do so.   That is includes the mental aspect.  Granted that commands can not prepare for everything but you have to honest with the troop that this is not "Call of Duty" and there is not any extra lives on this.    

 

Failure 3 - Civilian leadership that decide to use the military with out properly funding the whole process.  We have seen the VA fail over and over again with being able to process the amount of troops that come through the system.  Is it a funding issue or leadership issue?  We have seen the articles on SOFREP with the current VA administration.  Needless to say, I am not impressed and leaning towards it being a leadership issue.

 

What is the fix action to this?  My own personal opinion is strong leadership and being able to say "No".  I fully understand that "No" is not always an option but sometime you have to take a "ring knocker" off to the side and explain to them the pros/cons of their given decision.  This goes for all the chain, up and down.

 

Tango9
Tango9 moderator 5pts like.author.displayName like.author.displayName like.author.displayName like.author.displayName 4 Like

 @Austin IT It's pissing in the wind, Austin.  I'm going to hazard a guess and posit that you've been to the Pentagon.  I apologize in advance for my cynical view and the idea that there is no hope of fixing this.  What you have is a building filled with people trying so solve the Crisis Du Jour:  panic reigns.

 

Want a real fix?  Relocate every O-6 and above back to the field, level the pentagon.  Put the generals back with their troops.

 

Shit, I just snorted coffee out my nose thinking about it.... napkin time...

majrod
majrod 5pts like.author.displayName like.author.displayName like.author.displayName like.author.displayName like.author.displayName like.author.displayName like.author.displayName 7 Like

There's little doubt a suicide problem exists.  BTW, it's not limited to the military.  Plenty of interest and desire to address which is great.

 

Two points:

 

My sense is that hands on leadership or knowing your people has suffered in the last decade.  Attribute it to leadership by e-mail, the exponential growth of paperwork requirements on leader's time, the lack of emphasis/mentoring that ensures leaders "KNOW" their people or the CYA approaches that often takes the place of accountability.  It's a problem and it starts at the top.

 

Second be wary of the comparison to casualties.  Body armor and the enemy's avoidance of direct fire engagements have a real impact on casualties.  Many forget we lost over 5K in a day in WWII, a thousand on some days in Nam and even 200 in four days of Desert Storm (that's 18k in a year).  We've been EXCEPTIONALLY lucky we haven't lost more in a decade of conflict.  The approach of comparing our suicide deaths against our combat deaths does no one justice and fixes nothing besides creating sensationalism.  It reinforce our strategic weakness of casualty aversion where we pay the price in daily decisions, handcuffs our ability to defeat an enemy, drives our acquisition costs etc.  It's no small matter.  Just a thought as the MSM beats that drum.    

This comment has been deleted

StormR
StormR 5pts like.author.displayName like.author.displayName like.author.displayName like.author.displayName like.author.displayName like.author.displayName 6 Like

 @ChupaCabra  CC, here are my very unscientific thoughts.  Humans are comprised of four parts:  intellect, emotion, physical and spiritual (soul).  We educate our intellect, learn to control and channel our emotions, eat right/exercise to care for our bodies.  But it does not seem as pressing to care for and nuture our spirit and outside of people of faith, most people never consider their spirit as a living part of themselves.  Warriors fine-tune their intellect, hone their physical, clamp down on their emotional, but outside of their faith, there is no recognition of the need to care for their spirit.  And their soul - like their body, mind and heart, can be wounded and severely damaged.  And the most common wound I've seen is the 'disconnect' that happens.  One's spirit/soul is always connected to Creator and through creator connected to all living things.  This isn't related to a religious idea, but more of a natural world thing.   When one's spirit is wounded and tattered, and the person feels apart-disconnected-not of the world he/she lives in, then a certain despair sets in that is greater than any physical pain.  And there is no escape from it, but the despair lives within.  And there comes a moment when the person can't bear the despair anymore - cannot see that it could ever be lifted from them - cannot see more than just that moment and has the immediate means available, then they take their lives - remove themselves from the burden they have been carrying.   I think of our warriors who in a firefight, fight with incredible determination to survive and ensure their team mates survive.  Suicide is that moment when one is in a firefight with one's self and surrenders - never realizing they are truly fighting for their life.   Healing of the whole must occur, as simple as that.  Drugs - prescription or self-medicated - to numb the emotion is not enough.  Therapy to assist the mind in coming to terms with the trama is not enough.  Physical well-being is not enough.  There must be healing of the wounds to the spirit.  It is the spirit/soul that allows us to see the beauty around us, to motivate us to strive, to connect us with our loved ones, friends and community.   It is our spirit that allows us to persevere against all odds, conquer obstacles, dream and envision - believe in one's self and others.  It is the fuel for our engine.   Spirit/soul is much, much more than something only related to religion.        

 

Copecyn924
Copecyn924 5pts

 @StormR  @ChupaCabra 

Thought I'd share.....

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=wLoAMSmYKp4

 

Take care and thanks for you guys being you....  Happy 2013

 

LauraKinCA
LauraKinCA 5pts like.author.displayName like.author.displayName 2 Like

 @StormR  @ChupaCabra

 Your words make so much sense, but how to heal the spirit? How to help a loved one or friend you see struggling heal theirs?

Copecyn924
Copecyn924 5pts like.author.displayName like.author.displayName like.author.displayName 3 Like

 @StormR  @LauraKinCA  @ChupaCabra 

Hi Storm, what a wonderful story. Thank you for being there for him..  I'm tearing up big time...  Impressive plus I've chills...

StormR
StormR 5pts like.author.displayName like.author.displayName like.author.displayName like.author.displayName like.author.displayName 5 Like

 @LauraKinCA  @ChupaCabra  Laura, having an ear and shoulder available is becoming all to rare in this world anymore.  I was thinking of all the phrases and cliches we use when talking about spirit - a gentle soul, a loving spirit, mean-spirited, etc., yet so few actually pay attention to such a vital piece of themselves.

LauraKinCA
LauraKinCA 5pts like.author.displayName like.author.displayName like.author.displayName like.author.displayName like.author.displayName 5 Like

 @StormR  @ChupaCabra

 That's a wonderful story. Your talents and empathy once again helping someone in need. I do try to make that ear and a shoulder available.

StormR
StormR 5pts like.author.displayName like.author.displayName like.author.displayName like.author.displayName like.author.displayName like.author.displayName 6 Like

 @LauraKinCA  @ChupaCabra  "Your words make so much sense, but how to heal the spirit? How to help a loved one or friend you see struggling heal theirs?"  

 

First, recognize that all things are connected, so approach it as a whole.  For example, if a friend is going through a difficult divorce or loss, then help them to eat well, encourage them to get good rest, give them a gift of music they enjoy or take them for a walk in a place they enjoy or to an art show or funny movie.  Find the balance between giving them sympathy and not enabling them to wallow in.  The spirit is resilient .  There is some damage that cannot be fully healed, but it can be managed and so you help your loved one discover and participate in the things that soothe and strengthen them.   I have such damage and for me it means a trip to the ocean or a wild river, and occasionally it takes someone else to see that I need such a trip.  And most of all you let them know you care and they 'belong' and are valued and that there is purpose to their life.   I will share a story with you, though.  I'm a Notary Public and a few weeks ago I was called to the front desk because someone was asking for a Notary.  It was a young man and I could sense his unease (remember, I am Hokema), so I took him to a small conference room.  He said he was recently back from Afghanistan and he needed some papers notarized.   I told him how happy I was that he was home safe, and he said 'it didn't feel like home yet' and I just nodded and waited, giving him a safe space to speak, and he said everything is so different - even his family and he hadn't 'transitioned' yet.  And I said, "The important thing is the same - they care and I care."  And he started to cry.  I put my arms around him and rocked him and let him cry and when he was done, I wiped his tears and gave him a kleenix to blow his nose.  We got his paperwork done and he gave me his word he would either talk to a counselor or a chaplain, and I believe he will.  All I did was give him a safe place to be himself - with no questions asked or explanations needed.  And my spirit loved and comforted him and he felt it.  It is not words that heal the spirit.

 

 

 

Recon6
Recon6 moderator 5pts like.author.displayName like.author.displayName like.author.displayName like.author.displayName 4 Like

@StormR @ChupaCabra Doggone Stormy, that was awesome!! You have the ability to put words to feelings that transcend the physicality and delve into the 'self' spirit and soul dynamic, quite profound and moving for me even tho you wrote it for CC, Thanks.....6

Copecyn924
Copecyn924 5pts like.author.displayName like.author.displayName 2 Like

 

 @StormR  @LauraKinCA  @oldSquid  @Recon6  @ChupaCabra 

 

 

Storm, dear God, my heart is aching for you and your family.    Guess it's one day at a time....  Prayers going out.....

 

 

 

 

 

AnnieOe
AnnieOe 5pts like.author.displayName 1 Like

@oldSquid @Recon6 @StormR @ChupaCabra I believe that doctors need to be better educated. Doctors are given cookie-cutter solutions to problems. They aren't taught to think creatively. I believe that's one of the reasons antidepressants are used too often. A doctor sees symptoms of depression and automatically goes to drugs instead of digging deeper, and trying to figure out the root causes of the problem.

StormR
StormR 5pts like.author.displayName 1 Like

 @LauraKinCA  @oldSquid  @Recon6  @ChupaCabra   Earlier, Jack did a great article on the half-assed 'don't kill yourself' training that the Army is doing.  I was initially uncomfortable with it, but as folks talked it through I recognized the big holes in it - just another feel-good-bandaid-fix. 

 

Laura, yep...that one night aged me a lot.  Truthfully, it was a few years before I had a full night's restful sleep...I kept one ear aimed at the phone at all times.  I cannot tell you how thankful I am that he retained enough of himself to make that call to his mommy.  He was afraid to tell his wife because he was trying to still be the strong guy that had handled the cancer surgery & treatment.   He knew he didn't have to be the tough guy with his mom :)   I have another family member who I spent the night and a day with in a closet shortly after he came back from Iraq.  I was grateful to be there too :)

LauraKinCA
LauraKinCA 5pts like.author.displayName 1 Like

 @StormR  @oldSquid  @Recon6  @ChupaCabra

 Well, I just agreed with this whole post responding to your other one. Can't imagine how scary that night was for you and your daughter in law.

LauraKinCA
LauraKinCA 5pts like.author.displayName like.author.displayName 2 Like

 @StormR  @oldSquid  @Recon6  @ChupaCabra

 Couldn't agree more. We have become a society of "take a pill to fix your ills." Now I come from a family of doctors and recognize the benefits of modern medicine, but that lack of comprehensive treatment is a real problem. And too many people just want that pill and not the work to get better. And the more scary thing is the potential drug interactions. If you are taking one pill, you are likely taking more than one.

StormR
StormR 5pts like.author.displayName like.author.displayName like.author.displayName 3 Like

 @oldSquid  @Recon6  @ChupaCabra  Agree completely oldSquid on your assessment of the meds.  I worked a lot with folks in rehab, so a lot of my opinions are based on first-hand experience.  Also, have a bit of personal experience with this.  When my son was 22 he was diagnosed with cancer and underwent 8 weeks of radiation, and it was rapidly discovered that he was part of the 5% of the population allergic to radiation.  The doctor warned him that the ensuing brain chemical imbalance might bring on clinical depression and it may be permanent - unfortunately, that's exactly what happened.  He's 42 now and has gone through a number of medications.  Two of them pushed him right to the brink of suicide.  I still wake up sweating from the call I got at 2:00 am and he said, "Mom, I want to step in front of a train", which was a serious threat because he had a train track across the street from him.  I had him wake up his wife and then I made the 40 minute trip in 20 minutes and we got him through the night.  Needless to say, the doctor stopped that med immediately, but each medication change takes 6 - 8 weeks to be effective and there's lot of trials with different dosages.  It took about 5 years to find exactly the right combination for him.   As a society, we've become too dependent on happy pills...tv commercials make it seem like a harmless thing.  NO drug is completely harmless.

StormR
StormR 5pts like.author.displayName like.author.displayName like.author.displayName 3 Like

 @LauraKinCA  @oldSquid  @Recon6  @ChupaCabra Laura, I trust your gut on the anti-depressants.  I have some serious concerns as well.  I agree that there may be an initial need to help a person get solid feet on the ground, but they should be a starting point of the treatment - not the entire treatment.  Anti-depressants mask the emotion, and it's hard to do the hard work of dealing with the issue when you are numb.  In addition, anti-depressants have proven to increase suicide tendencies in children and teenagers, and a lot of our warriors are in their early 20's, well within that range.  There absolutely a need for medications when one has been diagnosed with depression due to chemical imbalance.  There's no fixing that with only counseling.  The reports I'm reading is that military services are handing out medications like candy, without a full treatment plan.  The idea seems to be:  keep them balanced in the combat zone and when they return to the states, they can get comprehensive treatment - epic fail on two levels.

LauraKinCA
LauraKinCA 5pts like.author.displayName like.author.displayName like.author.displayName 3 Like

 @oldSquid  @Recon6  @StormR  @ChupaCabra

 Very good question. The use of anti-depressants has become rampant and my gut is saying that it isn't a good thing for a lot of side effect problems.

oldSquid
oldSquid 5pts like.author.displayName like.author.displayName like.author.displayName 3 Like

 @Recon6  @StormR  @ChupaCabraI've been thinking about this. Somewhere I read that a fairly large percentage of these suicides are after meeting with counselors or treatment. Now, I'm no scientist, but, I wonder if there aren't anti depressants prescribed and could it not be the drugs. Related situations, Columbine, Gifford's shooting in AZ, Aurora theater shooting, West VA shooting and the Newtown shooting. All of the perpetrators were either on or had been taking prescription psychotropic drugs....coincidence? or correlation?

oldSquid
oldSquid 5pts like.author.displayName like.author.displayName 2 Like

 @Recon6  @StormR  @ChupaCabra

 I agree 6. StormR, that's another of those hammer meet nail things. Well said and profound. Thank you

Tango9
Tango9 moderator 5pts like.author.displayName like.author.displayName like.author.displayName like.author.displayName like.author.displayName like.author.displayName like.author.displayName like.author.displayName like.author.displayName like.author.displayName like.author.displayName like.author.displayName 12 Like

It's freaking nasty out there right now to be in uniform.  If you've been in for 10+ years, regardless of branch of service, you've done at least 3 and up to 8 or 10 deployments (SF/SoF exempted).  Your family is a wreck, if you have one remaining, and you don't know whether to shit or go blind at this point.

 

The answer?  Increase the size of the force to mitigate the cost on the psyche of the troops. Spread the hate around a little bit ffs.

 

The second answer is it will never happen.  Why?  Because the 5-sided nuthouse doesn't really give a shit.  All they see is power point slides and demand more "education."

 

The leadership is broken.

majrod
majrod 5pts like.author.displayName like.author.displayName like.author.displayName like.author.displayName like.author.displayName 5 Like

 @Tango9  Agree with everything you said but there's also more to it specifically my pet peeve branch partisanship. 

 

Hadn't seen you around. Happy New Year.

 

DonovanE
DonovanE 5pts like.author.displayName 1 Like

One thing that I have noticed is that most of the suicides are from soldiers who haven't seen extended periods of combat. Does anyone here know anything about this happenning.

StormR
StormR 5pts like.author.displayName like.author.displayName like.author.displayName like.author.displayName like.author.displayName like.author.displayName 6 Like

Jeffrey, I'm so glad you wrote this article.  I'm very much afraid that both the military and general public have their heads firmly stuck in the sand about suicide and rising alcohol/drug related crimes & incidents, all of which are silent screams by our soliders.  It's going to take the military & veteran community to be engaged, however.  The healing comes when one can share the experiences with those who have also experienced the horrors and heartbreaks. 

JustinSuyama
JustinSuyama 5pts like.author.displayName like.author.displayName like.author.displayName 3 Like

Actually, it's time to trace back the rise in anti-depressants in the military (the same ones behind 90% of every mass shooting in the US) and then come to realize that the soldiers are being put on the same homicidal and suicidal drugs WHILE IN A STRESSFUL environment. Look into the rise of these drugs with the rise of suicides and homicides (not killing in combat but deliberately going out and killing non-combatants), you will see some interesting parallels. 

jeffreycarr
jeffreycarr 5pts like.author.displayName like.author.displayName like.author.displayName 3 Like

It looks like the Israeli Defense Forces have a similar problem: "Suicide the number one cause of death in the IDF" http://www.timesofisrael.com/suicide-is-idfs-number-1-killer-report-finds/

ellie2
ellie2 5pts like.author.displayName 1 Like

 @jeffreycarr So does Turkey:

 

http://www.todayszaman.com/newsDetail_getNewsById.action?newsId=299626

Txazz
Txazz 5pts like.author.displayName like.author.displayName like.author.displayName like.author.displayName 4 Like

 @jeffreycarr Very timely article.  I hadn't seen it and this news is distressing.

This article mentions:" A number of causes contributed to the decline in soldier suicides, the army said, noting the increase in army psychiatrists and the removal of guns from the hands of soldiers who didn’t need them in the line of duty."

And, Jeff, you pointed out in your own comments: The article mentions new measures being discussed in Congress that have to do with removing personal firearms from the homes of “unstable soldiers.”

I agree with you that this is frightening.  It may be working in Israel but, not the same here in the US for many reasons.  I pray it doesn't come to pass here.

Thanks for your article and it needs to gain more attention to bring more prevention and help for our soldiers.  It has bothered me for quite some time that not enough is being done.

LauraKinCA
LauraKinCA 5pts like.author.displayName like.author.displayName like.author.displayName like.author.displayName like.author.displayName like.author.displayName 6 Like

Thanks for the write up Jeff. This truly is a heartbreaking issue and gives me a feeling of helplessness. I feel that the help would better coming from the military (vs outside counseling) and maybe through further outreach within units. Some stories I hear tell about units returning from combat and the units being immediately broken up and the men scattered to new units or sent home if their deployments are up. From an outsider viewpoint, that seems too abrupt. I certainly don't have the answers, but really hope that focus will turn to this issue.

Recon6
Recon6 moderator 5pts like.author.displayName like.author.displayName like.author.displayName like.author.displayName like.author.displayName like.author.displayName 6 Like

 @LauraKinCA

 L, this is a truly disturbing matter.  From experience, one day you are in combat, then a few days later

you find yourself walking down the street in your home towm, terrifying and the only solace I could find was in a bottle, thus a drinking problem.  These kids are turned out with little to no counseling and no idea of how to deal with this matter.  Seems society Never learns and mistakes are repeated.  These kids give Everything and for the most part receive little in return...imo....6

LauraKinCA
LauraKinCA 5pts like.author.displayName like.author.displayName like.author.displayName like.author.displayName like.author.displayName 5 Like

 @Recon6

 And it seems like not only are the combat vets having problems but non-combat vets that are turned loose without any readjustment programs. Military to civilian life is so different, especially for enlisted, that I don't understand why there isn't more help with that adjustment. Then you add the combat angle and the disconnect these men feel to the civilians around them, the seemingly petty problems we bitch about compared to losing buddies in war, and coping can come like you did or worse.

theAtrium (banned)
theAtrium (banned) 5pts

 @Copecyn924 "Platoon" is a must watch every six months type of movie, that's how good it is--kinda like "Dirty Dancing" and "Point Break".

 

Stone's Vietnam trilogy, is right up there w/ the Bourne trilogy: http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=OzVKG4b7EjU (Platoon), http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=SaA41P8-Mck (Born on the 4th of July), and http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=XTdhbJl8Ek0 (Heaven & Earth):

 

"Oliver Stone was born on September 15, 1946 in New York City. He went to New York's Trinity School in 1957 and later to Hills School in Pottstown, Pennsylvania. He attended Yale University where he studied liberal arts but, in 1965, dropped out after only one year.

 

He applied for a position as an English teacher at the Pacific Institute in Saigon in the same year and was accepted. He arrived in Vietnam in June 1965 at the age of eighteen and stayed at the Institute for two terms.

 

The next year, Stone returned to the U.S. He lived in Mexico for a short time and wrote a novel about his time in Asia. In 1967, he joined the US Army.

 

At that time, he thought that it was his duty to fight for his country and against communism: "...I had a serious dose of patriotism. I believed in the country, believed in the ideals, believed that the communists were undermining us everywhere."

 

He served 15 months in an Infantry division, where he was injured. However, he received the Purple Heart and the Bronze Star awards for his service.

 

When he returned to his home country in 1968, his views had changed. The Vietnam War had left its mark on the twenty-two year old, as it had on so many young Americans.

 

The horror of the war had washed away his patriotism and his ideals. He later used his experiences in Vietnam as the basis for "Platoon", the film's protagonist, Chris Taylor, representing Stone's alter ego. "

 

 

 

 

 @Recon6  @ThePatriots  @LauraKinCA 

Copecyn924
Copecyn924 5pts like.author.displayName 1 Like

 @Recon6  @Copecyn924  @ThePatriots  @LauraKinCAThanks 6, might just have to watch "Platoon" again. Have a fabulous Sunday...

Copecyn924
Copecyn924 5pts

 @ThePatriots  @Copecyn924  @Recon6  @LauraKinCA

Ditto on the LOL!!!!!!!

Recon6
Recon6 moderator 5pts like.author.displayName 1 Like

@Copecyn924 @ThePatriots @LauraKinCA Cindy, there is an old movie, "Platoon", with two primary characters, "Barnes" is the Really Nice Soldier who has a Difficult time with Combat.....6

LauraKinCA
LauraKinCA 5pts

 @ThePatriots  @Copecyn924  @Recon6  @LauraKinCA

 Just.... LOL!

ThePatriots
ThePatriots 5pts like.author.displayName like.author.displayName like.author.displayName 3 Like

@Copecyn924 @Recon6 @LauraKinCA without being too specific, it will be at least early summer before she hops on a flight home. When she returns, I'm gonna change our avatar to a "Do not disturb" sign. Poppa-chicka-wow-wow!

Copecyn924
Copecyn924 5pts like.author.displayName 1 Like

 @ThePatriots  @Recon6  @LauraKinCA 

I'm going to call you Pats, all I can say is "awwww......"  How long until her return???

 

Copecyn924
Copecyn924 5pts like.author.displayName like.author.displayName 2 Like

 @Recon6  @Copecyn924  @ThePatriots  @LauraKinCA 

I'm not the brightest crayon in the box, who's Barnes?????  I think it's great how you guys cherish your wives, makes a girl say "awwwwww..."

Recon6
Recon6 moderator 5pts like.author.displayName like.author.displayName 2 Like

@Copecyn924 @ThePatriots @LauraKinCA Cindy, you might say that, until 'Barnes' shows up and ruins it all, lol.....6

StormR
StormR 5pts like.author.displayName like.author.displayName like.author.displayName 3 Like

 @ThePatriots  @Copecyn924  @Recon6  @LauraKinCA Cried all the way through it ..touching, powerful, heart-breaking and heart-lifting.

Copecyn924
Copecyn924 5pts like.author.displayName like.author.displayName like.author.displayName 3 Like

 @Recon6  @ThePatriots  @Copecyn924  @LauraKinCA 

6, are you a "romantic?" :-)

Copecyn924
Copecyn924 5pts like.author.displayName like.author.displayName like.author.displayName like.author.displayName 4 Like

 @ThePatriots  @Recon6  @LauraKinCA 

FABULOUS VIDEO!!  Bawling my eyes out, thanks for sharing.  My favorite was the little girl sitting with Santa "I missed you Daddy!!"  Lost it big time, plus when the Marine was standing outside fully dressed and the roses....

 

Here's to a amazing reunion when your lovely bride comes home, may she be safe and come home SOON!!!!

 

The ending was "priceless!!!"

“And they shall see us; and we will fall upon their necks, and they shall fall upon our necks, and we will kiss each other;” ― Moses 7:63

LauraKinCA
LauraKinCA 5pts like.author.displayName like.author.displayName like.author.displayName like.author.displayName 4 Like

 @ThePatriots  @Copecyn924  @Recon6

 Great vid! and yes, tears in my eyes.

ThePatriots
ThePatriots 5pts like.author.displayName like.author.displayName like.author.displayName like.author.displayName 4 Like

 @Recon6  @ThePatriots  @Copecyn924  @LauraKinCA Same here, 6. I don't wanna jinx myself and say too much, but I anxiously await her return. I would've taken her spot a million times over if I could. This has definitely been a different experience for me.

Recon6
Recon6 moderator 5pts like.author.displayName like.author.displayName like.author.displayName 3 Like

@ThePatriots @Copecyn924 @LauraKinCA WOW, what a vid !!! Tears at your heart and shouts, "Glorious" at the same time! What a Fantastic scene(s), Thanks Pats, and I pray your wonderful Wife is Safe and Secure..God Bless....6

ThePatriots
ThePatriots 5pts like.author.displayName like.author.displayName like.author.displayName 3 Like

 @Copecyn924  @Recon6  @LauraKinCA That was awesome, Cindy! Thank you so much for sending those our way! It sure meant a great deal to us! Laura knows that it choked me up, so I thought I would pay back the favor with this vid. If you make it 17 seconds without choking up, then you're sub-human. Turn up the sound and enjoy, especially the very beginning. The little girl at the start of this vid is jaw-dropping precious.

 

http://thechive.com/2010/08/13/soldiers-returning-from-war-surprise-kids-video/

 

Copecyn924
Copecyn924 5pts like.author.displayName like.author.displayName like.author.displayName 3 Like

 @ThePatriots  @Recon6  @LauraKinCA 

Hey Patriots, Greetings from the 10th Medical Group!!! 

 

Kudos to Laura!!  She had the brilliant idea of sending Christmas cheer to your wife and her friend, it's so hard being away from family.  I thought, "this is up my alley, love doing this kind of stuff" so I gladly signed on.  I was rather impressed with our group, everyone loved signing all the cards. That Friday, I was roaming the halls and I hit every clinic, of course we lost about 3 or 4 of them...  Oh well...

 

I was volunteering for the "USAFA Jingle Bell 5/10K"  the next day and the light bulb went off!!!!  I make up some more cards, I was bound and determined to get as many Christmas greetings as possible.  My goal was to make this a fabulous Christmas for them and we were all thinking of them, plus we were so proud of them!!! 

 

I was in charge of flipping pancakes, after 2 1/2 hours, I was a "PRO" and I was bummed, thinking "I didn't get my cards signed."  My friend, Dirk had EVERYONE sign the cards, I even cornered our the 10 ABW Commander and said "Hey Col, I need a favor!!"  He was thinking, "what is Cindy up to now??"  He had already signed the cards and I grabbed him to also sign the t-shirts.  He told me that he was away at Christmas time and knows how it feels, "we have to take care of our own."

 

I have 2 "Jingle Bell 5/10K"  t-shirts for them and I had several guys also sign it, might be a little big but they can use them to work out with.  If possible if you can email me their addresses, our office would like to send some care packages.

 

Take care and I know I ramble on but thought I'd drop a line to say hi...  Hope to hear from you; I do a great care package, guess I've had plenty of practice over the years.  We are sending off blankets and sweats tomorrow morning, we have about 10 of our people deployed.  They were requesting sweats for our patients, uniforms have to be discarded due to injuries and all they had were scrubs for them to wear.

 

Again take care...

 

Cindy

ThePatriots
ThePatriots 5pts

 @StormR Thank you, Stormr. 

StormR
StormR 5pts like.author.displayName like.author.displayName like.author.displayName like.author.displayName like.author.displayName 5 Like

 @ThePatriots   Hugs, The Patriots...that's all..just giving you a warm, close hug.

 

LauraKinCA
LauraKinCA 5pts like.author.displayName like.author.displayName like.author.displayName like.author.displayName like.author.displayName 5 Like

 @ChupaCabra  @Recon6  @ThePatriots

 I've been thinking about what you have said for most of the day and still struggle to know what to say. First, that I am so sorry to hear what your father likely suffered during and after the war and wish there had been something that could have helped him. Second, you have certainly had a lot to overcome in your lifetime, things that you have shared before and again today. I can only hope that, as you say you reflected back on the similar tracks you and your father took in life, that telling your stories and hearing others' in return helps in some small way. The "if onlys" can drive you nuts. It is great that in spite of everything you were able to hold on to your love of your father. I hope you can find out more about what he would have experienced, as well as his brothers to understand him better and that it brings you a measure of peace.

TKW406
TKW406 5pts like.author.displayName like.author.displayName like.author.displayName like.author.displayName like.author.displayName 5 Like

 @ChupaCabra    Solid copy Chupa.  Keep holding onto the good & the positives and don't let go.  TW

Recon6
Recon6 moderator 5pts like.author.displayName like.author.displayName like.author.displayName like.author.displayName like.author.displayName 5 Like

 @ChupaCabra  @ThePatriots  @LauraKinCA

 CC, sorry to hear about your Dad.  War does such terrible things to some people and in your experience, some never recover.  Sometimes alcohol is the only balm that allows one to cope, but in reality it simply exacerbates the issue and continue the downward spiral.  It seems there was so little effort made back then to help returning Vets and we were just returned to the streets and left to cope on our own.  I am so sorry to hear your story, that is a sad state to be in, and a sad ending to a life.....6

LauraKinCA
LauraKinCA 5pts like.author.displayName like.author.displayName like.author.displayName like.author.displayName like.author.displayName 5 Like

 @ThePatriots  @Recon6

 Good for your Dad!! And it is great that you have that kind of support network, but you do have to use it. and not go into lockdown mode. SOFREP has turned out to be a unique place where friendships have been made and to a certain extent a support group has developed. A much different feel than other public sites.

ThePatriots
ThePatriots 5pts like.author.displayName like.author.displayName like.author.displayName like.author.displayName like.author.displayName 5 Like

 @Recon6  @LauraKinCA Roger that, 6. I've been blown away by this group of people. I really appreciate your comments, too, sir. They mean a lot more than what most will ever imagine. I also admire your willingness to share and open up about your past...and @LauraKinCA I'll talk to our chaplain and see what other resources may be available. Feel free to PM me. I know I owe you some other info and will produce, soon. I gotta head out for now, though. Thanks to all of you for showing some love/respect/honor at all times.

LauraKinCA
LauraKinCA 5pts like.author.displayName like.author.displayName 2 Like

 @ThePatriots  @Recon6

 Thanks for the website. I will be checking it out. I have another pen pal that returned home from the ME and doesn't seem to be adjusting that well. Maybe there is something there that can help him.

Recon6
Recon6 moderator 5pts like.author.displayName like.author.displayName like.author.displayName like.author.displayName like.author.displayName like.author.displayName like.author.displayName like.author.displayName 8 Like

 @ThePatriots  @LauraKinCA

 Hey brother, it's not rambling, nor is it 'gone soft', it Is about being human and

the fact some things are simply difficult to endure.  I would be bananas if my wife were to be deployed under such circumstances.  It is a sign of Strength that you come here, and I like you, have found the folks at SOFREP understanding and supporting.  I have poured my heart out, more than once, to Friends I have found here as the wounds Never heal.  Here you know your sacrifice is recognized and highly Appreciated, we Honor our people here.....6

ThePatriots
ThePatriots 5pts like.author.displayName like.author.displayName like.author.displayName 3 Like

 @TKW406  @Recon6  @LauraKinCA Thanks, TK. I will, bro.

chrishutch13
chrishutch13 5pts like.author.displayName like.author.displayName like.author.displayName like.author.displayName like.author.displayName 5 Like

 @ThePatriots  @Recon6  

 Thank y'all... I am very grateful for your sacrifice.

TKW406
TKW406 5pts like.author.displayName like.author.displayName like.author.displayName like.author.displayName like.author.displayName like.author.displayName 6 Like

 @ThePatriots  @Recon6  @LauraKinCA   ThePatriots: Having read your comment above, the only thing I see is a man who truly loves his wife.  Stay strong brother. 

ThePatriots
ThePatriots 5pts like.author.displayName like.author.displayName like.author.displayName like.author.displayName like.author.displayName like.author.displayName like.author.displayName like.author.displayName 8 Like

 @Recon6  @LauraKinCA I can't imagine having to endure that sort of personal hell. I've been fortunate. Even though we are spread out, I have a pretty good support network complete with family/friends that have BTDT and have more than a t-shirt to show for it. On the flip-side of this, my dad's brother essentially killed himself after '71. He returned home from SE Asia only to literally drink himself to death. Within a couple years, he was gone. Dad stays on our ass and keeps an open comms channel with us.

 

At first, I thought it was overkill and that he was being overly protective, but now I'm beginning to get it. I am grateful for the support I've had at home and here at SOFREP. Some of you may not realize it, but your candor, stories and heart have been a refreshing distraction/outlet for me (and I'm sure for others, too).

 

Believe it or not, this community has pulled me through some trying times. It aint easy having a wife over there, especially at a highly visible location that gets shelled from time to time. At times, I've caught myself locking down my emotions and trying to keep a lid on things b/c I don't want anyone to think I've gone soft, etc.The thing is, I just miss her like hell and as much as I'm supposed to be used to this and accepting of it, it doesn't make it any easier. I'll stop rambling now.

Recon6
Recon6 moderator 5pts like.author.displayName like.author.displayName like.author.displayName like.author.displayName like.author.displayName like.author.displayName like.author.displayName like.author.displayName 8 Like

 @ThePatriots  @LauraKinCA

 Your 2 cents would have been worth a million dollars back in my day!  There was such a disconnect I was pushed out of my family because no one could understand "what's wrong with him"?  It never entered anyone's mind it Could be the Fkn War!!  No one knew what PTSD would bring in the future, just those messed up Nam vets getting into trouble again.  I just Hope today's Warriors seek help, and for God's sake it has Nothing to do with your being able to Soldier on!!

We need to embrace these kids, get them whatever help they might need, and let them know there are people that really do Care!.....6

ThePatriots
ThePatriots 5pts like.author.displayName like.author.displayName like.author.displayName like.author.displayName 4 Like

 @LauraKinCA  @Recon6 There are programs available (http://www.yellowribbon.mil/). From what I've seen and experienced, you have a lot of guys and gals that just want to soldier on and are afraid/don't know how/confused/too tough to let others help. Just my 2 cents

chrishutch13
chrishutch13 5pts like.author.displayName like.author.displayName like.author.displayName like.author.displayName like.author.displayName like.author.displayName 6 Like

 @LauraKinCA

 Laura et al... please consider checking out GallantFew: http://www.gallantfew.org/.

 

Karl, Michael and many others do a great job with this organization. Donations, getting a "Run Ranger Run" team together... and especially, mentoring are ways we can support our brave men and women. If I remember correctly, I'm fairly sure I've seen some photos of Jack doing a ruck run for something connected with GallantFew and he knows Michael Schlitz, so he should be able to confirm it's one of the "real" support organizations. 

AnnieOe
AnnieOe 5pts like.author.displayName 1 Like

@chrishutch13 @LauraKinCA Great site! I find the link between traumatic brain injuries and suicides/mental health issues to be especially interesting.

jeffreycarr
jeffreycarr 5pts like.author.displayName 1 Like

 @chrishutch13  @LauraKinCA Sounds like another good charitable org. Thanks!

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