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No Kidding There I Was…Thailand Surprise

by A SOFREP Reader · January 19, 2013 · Posted In: No Kidding There I Was

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46 comments

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carrissima

1 Like

I have to be honest with you guys but I could never touch a guy that banged another guy with a ten foot pole. Navy seal or no Navy seal that is the worst of the worst. I do not care how drunk you were at the time.

Romadave

1 Like

If you listen to 'dude looks like a lady' lyrics, he goes from 'Ew, he was a lady' to 'turn the other cheek dear' to 'do me, do me, Do Me!' Rationalize, normalize, just don't look em in the eyes.

Grumpy427

1 Like

I almost did the same thing '71 med cruise until my bud said this broad got a hard on!! Stopped me real quick!

Julesy

2 Like

Er, lesson=don't patronize hookers unless you want to risk playing for both teams

theAtrium (banned)

1 Like

@southernbelle

No, everyone should patronize prostitutes, that's part of the military experience. If you wanna take a stroll in the wildside and go from behind, just make sure you reach around, is all--everyone should be doing this regardless.

dickftr

2 Like

@TheAtrium @southernbelle It's part of yer duty. Beware of the girl that perform's with the fuckin big giant snake!

hjw1dr

5 Like

Just remembered... shit Seals say. #4

“Guys, you’ll never believe what that girl over there let me do to her!” Eric: “Which one?” Upon learning which one, Eric informed him that “her” was a “he”. Hotel Platoon member was never the same and forever known as a “Man fucker”…..apparently to this day he claims it doesn’t count if you think it’s a girl…..

hmmm.... ?

theAtrium (banned)

@hjw1dr

What's the Freudian take on that, H? Closet gay, culture (as in Bacha Baza and the Spartans) or an honest ignorance of science, as in the Papua New Guinea tribes who perform felatio as part of their rites of passage to manhood? In prison it's called On the Down Low and you'll be surprised how many strapped men make love (yup, make love, not rape) to their cellies. Very interesting field of study, what's your take.

Novocaine

2 Like

@TheAtrium @hjw1dr it's normal. His brain, which was operating under the influence and common blue balls, perceived the "man" as a woman. He relied fully on hi "system 1" in his brain. It's the same reason you know why 2+2 is four the instant you saw me write that, and the reason you (table) flash a picture when the word table was shown. His mind gave him impressions through his experiences (looks like a pretty woman that he wants to fuck). Had he taken some time and given his "system 2" a go, which is the more thorough and systematic part of our brain, he would have put two and two together. The brain is easily tricked.

hjw1dr

3 Like

@TheAtrium Well, interesting discussion-- I think I'll go bake some cookies. :)

hjw1dr

1 Like

@TheAtrium Oh, horny and drunk, and just off the ship? The guy was drunk.. and after the "undiscovered country" is revealed, has to normalize the experience. Rationalizing is a powerful drug. :)

He didn't know... therefore there is no guilt. But there is a fantasy... ad the fetish.

In this case, the fetish is the fantasy.

hjw1dr

4 Like

@TheAtrium Interesting, but this was supposed to be a fun thread, not psycho evaluation... not really interested in pursuing.. Now headed out to enjoy my day off. Have a good one. :)

theAtrium (banned)

(Isn't this the very "confirmation bias" he's talking about?)

"If we shake the tree, we would find hundreds of thousands of people falling out of the tree who are experiencing something like this," said Robert Epstein, a senior research psychologist at the California-based American Institute for Behavioral Research and Technology.

theAtrium (banned)

http://abcnews.go.com/Sports/wireStory/teo-victims-online-wishful-thinking-18257983 Here's the link of the above article--as H already knows my favorite topics of discussion are Mormons and psychologists.

theAtrium (banned)

1 Like

@hjw1dr

Here's a newer age version of something similar. Probably more embarassing since it's online? The implications of online sex with a guy at the other end seem a lot more embarrassing than being drunk and pumping another dude from behind. Sort of like that guy who did the Robin Sage experiment: http://www.robinsageexperiment.com/

" It started out a stunner: The Heisman Trophy runner-up had told heartbreaking stories about a dead girlfriend who didn't exist. Then it became unreal: The All-American linebacker said he had been duped, and theirs was a relationship that existed only in phone calls and Internet chats.

The reaction was predictable: Unbelievable. Couldn't happen.

People speculated he must be a straight-laced Mormon, naive and unfamiliar with modern-day dating hazards. Or he must be part of an elaborate hoax designed to bolster his image. Because no big-time college football player, beloved on campus and adored by millions, could have a girlfriend he's never ... actually ... met.

Yet even people who really ought to know better say what Notre Dame's Manti Te'o says happened to him has happened to them, and they believe it happens far more often than people care to admit.

It's just human nature, Epstein said, something known formally by psychologists as "confirmation bias." We watch the news that matches our political beliefs. We discount viewpoints we don't like. We ignore good advice and miss red flags, so we can continue believing in something we want to be true.

In Epstein's case, it was believing he'd made a real connection with an attractive Russian woman named Ivana he met online. In fact, she was nothing more than a computer bot someone had set up to respond to queries on an online dating site.

"A lot of people still make fun of me," he said. (LOL, see @Jaycel Adkins post below) "

theAtrium (banned)

1 Like

I agree with the term "man fucker" if there was no sex change or if the process was only partially complete. Since Thailand is the number place for sex change operations, logic would say that, that particular lady boy is more than likely all woman now. By virtue of that fact, the term "man fucker" should probably expire. Just to be fair.

I also found birth tourism while looking up sex change tourism in Thailand, so here goes two videos, one Thailand, the other here:

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=yBO8Ld9Glwg and http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=DozPSxWabSU

But realistically though, and more interestingly, Marines don't really see these episodes as a badge of shame. That's probably the main take away here. Go figure.

ajkmidget96

@TheAtrium sex change or not, if your born a man, you're always gonna be a man: chromosomes

theAtrium (banned)

* number one place

This comment has been deleted

hjw1dr

3 Like

@jasonbournewrong

Well, seems to me in Singapore the height of the "woman," or the size of her hands or swing of her fists, would be a dead give away... but since I haven't been there.... ;)

SEAN SPOONTS

12 Like

We had a guy in my squadron from Iowa, totally innocent and naive who almost got his 'brown wings' at a dive bar here in the States. We extracted him when we realized what he was about to get himself into and told him; "Goddam it! In a place like this you have to look at their adam's apple and hand size before you even think about leaving with them!". He was so freaked out he'd check with us before he would even talk to a girl. Soooooo, of course we fucked with him by telling him every girl he thought was pretty was actually a dude. We'd point out the obscenely ugly ones and tell him; "That's a girl over there, go try her." LOL.

Copecyn924

4 Like

The "No Shit There I was..." is becoming one of my favorite reads, great idea, kudos!!! Thanks for the gut retching laughs, which also includes tears. I could listen to the old "war stories" it seems like FOREVER! Mine are so boring & lame compare to the ones I've heard & are now reading...

Stationed in the UK, I was the "NCOIC of Travel Pay" & I've heard many stories about the infamous "Hog Calls", C130 rotations (marriages & hook-ups) and my favorites, the 5th MAPS mobile unit... Plus, I had 2 aircraft maintenance CMSgts that adopted me & we'd always have coffee & the stories they would share, mostly about the Philippines. OMG!!! Think they loved the "shock value" they were giving this young 24 years old... Talk about growing up FAST, I wasn't the small town girl from Missouri anymore...

One of my co-workers is a retired AF SP working in our office and he's my "go to guy" for things I'm clueless about (SOFREP, I've learned a lot). The term "butter face" stumped me, I asked Michael what it was & the look on his face (I had my suspicions) was "oh NO you didn't!" Got my answer & he shared his own "No Shit There I was" story.

Young 20's stationed in Panama and it involved 9 fellow SPs & a bucket of chicken. I'll let you guys use you imagination on that one.... I can only image the look on my face hearing this "stoned cold sober." HA!!!! Forgot his other story (we were bored that day), base commander's 15 year old daughter practically lived in the cop dorm & Daddy would always try and track her down...

Keeping sharing your stories!! Take care...

HM3accelerateyourlife

1 Like

How long does a nickname "The Man fucker" stick?

Old PH2 moderator

13 Like

@HM3accelerateyourlife Longer than one might wish that's for certain.

Back in the 80's when MTV still played videos I returned from a deployment and walked into the lounge at the BEQ. On the TV was this chick with long blonde hair and nice pouting lips, Big mouth me says "I'd do that any day of the week." At first there was stunned silence then total pandemonium as I was informed who the lead singer of POISON was and that it was a DUDE! I was told I'd been on sea duty far too long!

hjw1dr

8 Like

@Old PH2 Have to admit... some of those trannie guys can teach a girl how to dress and act! :)

Copecyn924

5 Like

@Old PH2 Too funny... I think you also forgot to mention the "painted on jeans", huh????

LauraKinCA

8 Like

@Old PH2

Sorry, still gonna give you shit for that one!

Old PH2 moderator

3 Like

I mean come on these guy were prettier than most of the buy me drinkie girls across the Med.

http://www.metalinsider.net/site/wp-content/uploads/2011/10/Poison-Look_What_the_Cat_Dragged_In.jpg

BrandonWebb moderator

13 Like

@HM3accelerateyourlife That's lifetime....

SEAN SPOONTS

1 Like

@BrandonWebb @HM3accelerateyourlife Gawd! What a moniker to get stuck with! LOL!

Jaycel Adkins

6 Like

@SEAN SPOONTS @BrandonWebb @HM3accelerateyourlife @Old PH2

A backpacker in the Highlands of Scotland stops in a pub to get a drink.

And the only people in there are the bar tender and an old man nursing a beer.

And he orders a pint, and sits in silence for a while.

Suddenly the old man beside him turns to him and says:

"You see this bar. I built this bar with my own two bare hands. Found the finest wood in the county. Gave it more love and care than my own child. But do they call me McGregor the bar builder?

NO.

*He points out the window.*

You see that stone wall out there. I built that stone wall with my bare hands. Found every stone, placed them just so through the rain and the cold. But do they call me McGregor the stone wall builder?

NO.

*He points out the other window.*

You see that pier on the lake out there. I built that pier with my own two bare hands. Drove the pilings into tide and the sand, plank by plank. Do they call me McGregor the pier builder?

NO.

But you fuck one goat.

(kudos Andrew Stanton.)

*told this one before, but topic post....fits.

HM3accelerateyourlife

@BrandonWebb @Old PH2 Did this "man fucker" redeem himself or munch on a bullet sandwich? I'd go with the sandwich.

theAtrium (banned)

2 Like

Chris, he would be forever known as “the man fucker” ...

EWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWwwwwwwwwwwwwwwwwwww...

shooten

1 Like

That's usually how those "Thailand Surprises" happen... After hearing all of the stories I have to wonder if there are any women working over there. The surgically/hormonally enhanced men seem to have a lock on the market.

LauraKinCA

1 Like

@shooten

Yeah, what's with that? Course any other story would seem boring in comparison.

KineticFury

6 Like

"My friend Erik, a trained Navy Corpsman/Medic had enough sense to do a thorough check"

Maybe this is where the prase "God loves Medics" came to be.....

Fundamentals to get your ISR Plan (intelligence, surveillance, & reconnaissance) in order :

- Initiate reconnaissance and surveillance early and conduct them continuously.

- Initiate appropriate reconnaissance and surveillance forward.

- Focus reconnaissance on CCIR* and decision points (DPs).(<--THIS IS WHAT SAVED OUR GOOD CORPSMAN) *CCIR=commander's critical information requirements

- Integrate battalion reconnaissance with cavalry squadron (RSTA) reconnaissance and surveillance assets.

- Integrate the staff in reconnaissance and surveillance planning.

- Maximize reconnaissance and surveillance assets.

- Report, analyze, and disseminate information rapidly and accurately.

Old PH2 moderator

7 Like

Believe me, as an East Coast sailor, it ain't just Thailand. You best check the package in every Port! One instance in a back alley of Naples Italy is forever burned into my memory. Forget Rio, those guys/gals looks so good I dare you to tell the difference sober or not!

CJCJ

2 Like

@Old PH2 The back alleys of Naples at night would make for perfect Hollywood movie shooting locations. Very spooky looking...

Old PH2 moderator

2 Like

@CJCJ There were scenes in the movie RONIN that I recognized the locale. The Cote d'Azure has some really cool funky little towns too. But my all time favorite red light district is the Rue St. Denis in Paris. WOW! That's all I'm sayin'....

CJCJ

4 Like

@Old PH2 I was once propositioned while walking past what looked to be an abandoned house in either Billings or Great Falls of all places (not exactly the Rue St. Denis) by a very nice looking young lady. Can't recall her exact words, but I definitely smelled a set up - either to get robbed or booked by the local vice squad. I simply smiled with that "I get it" look at her as I walked on by without saying a word. One veteran I flew with always briefed us with a reminder to have fun but to stay off the front page of the papers. In essence he meant, don't get arrested and don't bend any metal. Words of wisdom.

oldSquid

5 Like

@Old PH2

I agree PH. First time I heard about 'ladyboys' was my first port o' call to Singapore. There was an area called "Boogie Street" where they hung (literally) and I was told to avoid it all costs. Unfortunately, some didn't pay attention to that advice - and got 'surprised'....

CK5150

3 Like

I don't get it is this a magic show?

ratt1niner

1 Like

Thailand is a crazy place, attention to detail when it comes to hookers down there. I might know a guy that took a girl up stairs and when she came back down and it was her time to dance on stage she proceeded to spit fire, sword swallow, place two eggs up her kutter slam her belly on the stage stand up and spit the yolks into one glass and the shells into another. She wasn't done after that she ended her dance with playing a mini trumpet with her twat, the same one she got everyone to blow on before she got up on stage:) Good times!!!

oldSquid

@ratt1niner

Olongapo City in the P.I. was an interesting place as well. Did Shore Patrol duty one time and we went into a bar that was probably the wildest place I'd seen to that point. Waitresses carrying beers to tables -and not using their hands, a dancer 'slicing' a banana and feeding patrons at the stage - haven't been able to eat a banana since...various 'amorous' activities going on in corners and under tables.

Gawd, 'Po City in the 60's and 70's.... what a place.

Copecyn924

1 Like

@oldSquid @ratt1niner

Hey, that old banana trick won me a round of drinks from the NCO club in Crete... A group of JAG friends (from the UK) came down for a court martial & we ended up that night drinking, now they can party. Someone (probably me) came up with the ideal of "the most disgusting story" wins.

I had hear about this Marine getting hit in the eye with a flying piece of banana and his eye instantly festered ASAP... Not sure if it's true but hell, drinking for free.... HA!!!