Well here we are again and I’m about to kick off The Red Circle Book Tour and wanted to kick out this month’s “Shit Navy SEALs Say” before I went dark for a few weeks. SOFREP’s managing editor Jack Murphy has the helm, and you’re in good hands.
I hope you enjoy this month’s post. Special thanks to the Frogs of the hidden SEAL forum on FB. Most names have been changed to protect the guilty.
Brandon (BUD/S 215-SEAL TEAM 3, NSWG1-NSWC/CPO)
Shit Navy SEALs Say
- BUD/S Third Phase Proctor – “Remember Gentlemen…go ugly early”
- SEAL Vietnam Legend (multiple knife kills during Vietnam) during desert training Ops. “As we were walking down range to mark 60mm duds, “Better keep an eye skyward, one might not have come down yet.” Yea!
- Same Legendary SEAL talking to me as a terrified new SEAL at ST3-”I don’t have any fucking nightmares, only fond memories and a few regrets about all the fuckers I didn’t get to stab or shoot to death.
- Lessons on Camouflage-Today I am going to teach you guys about camouflage so that you don’t stand out like a set of bulls balls on a poodle!
- Words of Wisdom-Only boatswain mates and queers whistle and I don’t see a boatswain’s pipe in your mouth.
- SEAL Instructor commenting on a student’s lack of intelligence-”That guy is like a dog staring at a ceiling fan”….or substitute with “He’s like a monkey staring at a gold Rolex”
- A common saying about someone who’s about to get shit-canned (SEAL speak for fired)-”You can’t polish a turd. And, you can’t make ice cream out of shit”…
- When the shit gets real. “What a dick dragger”.
- Navy SEAL Instructor to students-”You guys are as fucked up as a football bat!!”
- SEAL Instructor one morning at the chow hall after an order came down that instructors couldn’t cuss at the students anymore, “Alright you pieces of fecal matter, chows over! Get in formation!”
- Drunk Master Chief Frog to cute lady bar tender in Charleston SC. ***WARNING***: Most SEALs have NO Inner Monologue).. Sweetheart I’d like to give you about ten fathoms of good hard cock! Cute bar tender to young Frog, “What’s a fathom?” Priceless……..
- Asking who is in charge-Who’s in charge of this Cambodian cluster fuck anyhow?!
- Sound advice while abroad in southeast Asia (more than one guy has relived that scene from the Crying Game)..about liberty in Thailand…”Just remember, if she looks too good to be true…She ain’t true!” Don’t forget the package check.
- SEAL Instructor who drove a shitty car-”never judge the man by the size of the car, judge the car by the size of the man!” He drove some piece of shit dodge omni or something past class 208 daily, looked like superman in the ultimate shit box! My first phase memory of a great team guy.
- Some Guys Just Aren’t Cut out to be SEALs -Randy H. – who was dumber than a rock, and academically dropped from BUD/S Class 97 2nd phase (dive phase) – gave us this beauty. Randy was yelling out the BUD/S barracks 2nd floor window to his classmates: “I can’t find my boots. Who stole my fucking boots?” Jimmy and Bill from BUD/S Class 97 to their roommate Randy H: “Randy, Check your fuckin’ feet.” The boots were actually on his feet!!! WTF?!!
- More sound advice while on liberty in Asia (short vacation abroad)-Oswald addressing the new guys on there first PI liberty call, “If it ain’t your idea, don’t do it.”
- Every Sailors God Given Right-R. Davis @ SBU 11 (reading the Navy Times) “I can’t believe they are kicking two sailors out of the Navy for eating pussy!” (shows me the article) But Master Chief, they are two lesbians (says I)…” I don’t give a damn, it’s every sailor’s right to eat pussy!”…