“Oh that’s just what we call pillow talk, baby…”
As everyone gets spun up regarding the P.I. president, Rodrigo Duterte, calling for a removal of U.S. forces, while openly pandering to Beijing…Let’s go over what kind of pillow talk he’s giving Japan.
In a not so surprising move, Duterte told the Japanese PM, Shinzo Abe, that Japan was a “special friend who’s closer than a brother.” Nice. The T.O. translation here pans out more like this: “Bruh, you got anymore of those defense assistances?”
Duterte furthered this monolog by calling Japan’s investments into the P.I.’s internal and external stability are “second to none.” Pretty strong words. Especially given the shit that’s been coming out of his mouth regarding the P.I.’s waning relationship with the U.S. and its waxing relationship with China. Whatev.
In this meeting in Japan, Duterte and Abe covered some very specific stuff. Everything from defense and economic partnerships, to human rights, humanitarian assistance, and not having so many Filipina’s serving old Japanese dudes drinks.
Even though Japan isn’t strictly in the P.I.’s “region”…the overarching topic was regional security and cooperation. Against…? Fucking China. Who Duterte is also honeydickin’.
Fundamentally–with regards to regional security and cooperation–China is sticking its dick in everyone’s mashed potatoes. And then–as if both China and Russia learned their foreign policy from Emmet fucking Fitz-Hume (“The answer is D: All three.”)–China expects us all not to notice/care.
Aside from the U.S. keeping the P.I. out of eye-hole-depth shit, other regional partners include Australia, who so far has eluded Duterte’s rhetoric/pillow talk. So, while the P.I. continues to court as many governments as possible to try to net some kind of stability…the analogy here is absolutely priceless.
Regionally–and in the overall fight against Islamic Fundy Ter’rists–the P.I. (and the rest of us) really cannot afford to *not* have adaptive aggressor good guys on-fucking-point in that AOR. And even though Duterte has stated explicitly that he only wants P.I. troops on P.I. land, Abe has been pretty quick to point out that: a) the U.S. is kind of integral to regional security, and b) Japan and the U.S. are also pretty damn tight (and Japan can’t be *really* close buds with someone who keeps shit-talking the U.S.).
This is like some fucking lame episode of Survivor, where that one dude is talking out of four different mouths…and everyone else in the tribe knows.
Personally, I don’t think it will end well. But I’ve honestly never really given much of a shit about the P.I. Japan’s reach does not exceed its grasp, so they’ll proceed professionally. Duterte, on the other hand, is maneuvering himself into an absolutely choice position to step directly on his own dick. (And I would expect a little more from the leader of the country that brought you shit like Kali/Escrima/Arnis. Just sayin’… somebody’s battle buddy needs to start sorting shit out.)
Image courtesy of AFP
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