When I think of a scandal, I think of meat-n-taters stuff like marital infidelity, shady money stuff, Weinerish kid sexting, pedo-island, or Patty Smyth “shootin’ down the walls of heartache.” But in case you haven’t been keeping up with the craziness happening outside the craziness that’s been happening in the U.S. 0f late…South Korea is going completely apeshit.
Lemme sum it up (as if that is even remotely possible, as absolutely nothing going on over there right now can just roll out without explanation). The players in this Game o’ Thronesian Thunderdome are:
- South Korean [first female] (<–not relevant) president, Park Geun-hye
- Park’s Rasputinesque confidante, Choi Soon-sil
- The former South Korean PM and some other cabinet members
- A few large corporations
- Two NPOs run by Choi
- All of South Korea
I feel like I’ve missed someone….
Now that we have our cast, please allow me to try to give you that aforementioned summation. It was discovered that Park had a very close friend named Choi. Choi was potentially exploiting her position as Park’s BFF (and cult leader). Choi has allegedly used her position to affect policy and funnel government power and corporate money to her NPOs, and, by possible extension, to herself. South Korea’s own prime minister, and a few cabinet members—all who sought to engage these allegations—were all summarily dismissed by Park (and Choi?) from government office.
Now the South Korean government and populace are trying to oust Park. South Korea, amidst damn near every other problem they could possibly be facing locally, regionally, and internationally (from North Korean nukes and China spies, to having to juggle relations with Japan, the outgoing Obama administration, and the incoming Trump administration), are pretty much at the bottom of their barrel.
So there we have it in a nutshell. (See what I mean by shit needing some ‘splainin’?)
Choi’s father is the founder of a pretty fringe quasi-religious sect called the Church of Eternal Life. She has been friends with Park for a long time (since the ’70s). Part of the ongoing untangling of this orgy of weirdness involves trying to ascertain the nature of this relationship, and the extent of Choi’s reach.
Choi’s known access to Park, her cabinet, her staff—her BRIEFINGS!—have all been called into microscopic questioning. And rightfully fuggin’ so. She’s even advising Park on what colors Park should wear. Some kinda fashion Feng Shui?
The Choi family began to insinuate themselves into the Park family back when this Park’s father survived an assassination attempt (he was South Korea’s third president at the time), but her mother was killed. Ms. Choi’s father then began to write letters to young Ms. Park explaining that her dead mother was visiting him in dreams, and that Park could communicate with her mother’s spirit through him. (Seems legit. What could possibly go wrong?)
Later, in ’79, President Park was assassinated, leaving Ms. Park without a father figure. Needless to say, Mr. Choi worked his way into Ms. Park’s life, and stayed there as her substitute father while her political career blossomed. (This plot is so great! But, having seen only a few Korean videos online, this one did not turn out they way I had expected it to.)
After he split for greener spiritual pastures, his daughter took the reigns.
As you can see, there’s no BLUF (Bottom Line Up Front) on this one, kids. The tangled webs just keep getting more tangled.
How this all plays out is pretty up in the air. Mainly because it’s hard to pre-empt this kinda crazy shit. This thing is chock full of Black Swans. It’s like whoever is writing this script is trying to outdo whoever is writing the current season of America. These season finales are gonna be KUREIJI! (That’s Asian/English for “crazy.” Trust me on this.)
Hell, at this point, I’d be looking far enough back to include the late Mr. Choi in either/both of the assassination attempts, specifically to ingress and gain access and placement. It’s totally plausible. Anything’s a go now.
Featured image courtesy of skynews.com