This poor girl can’t win for losin’. I’ve been pretty on the ball with giving you cats a decent run-down on this whole cluster, and I’ve been pretty upfront about how this thing is only going to end with epic amounts of drama and legal shenanigans. The shit happening to South Korea’s recently ousted president, Park Geun-hye—the shit that she has brought upon herself—is exactly why ousted leaders get the hell out of the country that just chopped them. At least she’s avoided being drawn and quartered (or whatever other wicked version the Koreans must have up their sleeve—I shudder to think) or vaporized by anti-aircraft guns, as would happen up in South Korea’s northern neighbor’s territory. Either way, she should have cut and run the moment she had the chance.
Now she’s stuck, and is stuck for her foreseeable days. (In older days, she’d rectify her self-dredged shitditch by introducing something sharp and shiny deep into her dermis. But like I said before, shitty leadership is still a thing.)
I listed several of her transgressions previously, along with a catalog of the other weird shit she’s been up to. These things are what got her dropped from office by a unanimous vote, and a few of these things are what got her tossed in the clink a few weeks after her dismissal.
Although the snowball is huge (yuge!) now, and plummeting headlong down the mountainside, it was once a small thing, and had every chance of not spinning out of control. Even though those days are now long gone, we can still see the path it has taken to this moment and understand why the former president is now completely screwed.
Park’s adviser, Choi Soon-sil, began her involvement with the South Korean presidential family through her own father—who had his own wack designs with Park. As his relationship with Park unfolded, and his daughter’s relationship with her began to strengthen, the trajectory was set. Although many of us might have considered this arrangement bizarre or inappropriate, there is still no evidence that Park had done anything illicit or even legally questionable at that time. (But the investigation is in full swing now…)
That all began to surface late last year (October 24, local), as the South Korean media discovered a tablet that Choi had reportedly been using to access and edit/alter national-level information [“for President Park”]. At that point, kids, that snowball came completely out of the bag and was hauling ass toward the bottom of the mountain.
After a number of public apologies by Park, more and more craziness started to surface. Despite Park disallowing police raids on her residence, evidence was still coming to light, because they were raiding other places—like Samsung HQ. And all this shit just added to the mass and velocity of that snowball (that’s called momentum, folks).
It wasn’t until December 9 of last year that the national assembly passed a resolution to impeach Park, who then stood accused of not only allowing Choi access to state affairs, but also working with her to extort millions of dollars from a variety of South Korean corporations, both large and small (but mostly large). This impeachment gave our snowball its own gravity and weather system.
As the South Korean prosecutor’s office issued their desire to arrest Park Geun-hye, they said, “The suspect has used her status as a president to receive money from companies, and interfered with the freedom of business management, as well as leaking important confidential material related to the government.” The entire scenario reeks of everything from criminality to national security breaches. And none of that shit is gonna end with Park or Choi in a good place. (Nor should it.)
So, as this snowball had officially gone airborne and was now arching its way onto whatever thing it was going to crash against and destroy, we found ourselves at this very moment right here: A world leader stood poised to reap the benefits of basically just being a complete fool, while potentially taking an entire nation down with her. On March 31, as Park was arrested, that snowball landed, ripping itself to pieces while completely shattering everything left in its path.
My hope is that South Korea has not crossed an event horizon here, and the crater that this snowball will inevitably leave does not undo everything that has been built over the last half-dozen decades. Yet, every country with investment in South Korea better damn well brace for impact, and be preemptive in their damage control, because you can bet your sweet ass that her enemies are already inside the walls.
As North Korea continues to play big boy games with launches and nukes, it would have been very helpful to have more than one squared away friendly nation in that Area of Responsibility.
Featured image courtesy of AP Photo/Yonhap