To say that being in a military marriage is tough would be a massive understatement. One spouse is sent away for six months at the shortest if they’re lucky. But in some cases, deployment may last for an entire year, leaving marriages severely strained and relationships suffering.
While many couples are resilient enough to survive, a good chunk simply crumble. That then leads to infidelity, and a lot of it, apparently.
The Statistics of Infidelity in a Military Marriage
Let’s look at the numbers: this 2015 study pointed out that around 70% of wives of deployed servicemen believe that their husbands had been unfaithful while on duty.
Another study published in 2017 revealed that the pervasiveness of sexual affairs within military marriages is 22.6%. The study involved 63 married Airmen, and here’s another staggering statistic: 75% of them who had their souls crushed and hearts trampled on by unfaithful wives had been divorced within the next nine months.
It’s human nature to constantly long for a spouse’s touch and companionship, and being deprived of it could likely result in unfavorable consequences when worse comes to worst. But why is that? More importantly, does that mean that military marriage is a disaster waiting to happen?
Everyone has their theories on why people cheat on their spouses, particularly those in the aforementioned arrangement. But rather than coming up with baseless hypotheses, let’s see what science has to say.
Infidelity Could Be a ‘Self’ Issue
Society is quick to jump to conclusions about the real reasons for infidelity. There will be justifications pointing to one party’s failure to provide for their partner’s needs. For others, it could be because of a potential commitment disparity. Simply put, one spouse is more committed than the other.
University of Maryland’s College of Behavioral and Social Sciences narrowed it down to these factors: revenge for their partner’s infidelity, lack of sexual satisfaction, loss of passion in the relationship, and low self-esteem. There are those who cheat under the influence of substances that lower inhibitions, while others just want variety.
All of this is pretty much common sense. What society fails to focus on is the person committing adultery. That’s where psychotherapist and relationship expert Esther Perel comes in.
For years now, Perel has been speaking on the topic of infidelity. She even did a whole TED talk about it, which you can watch below. If you have 21 minutes to kill, this is an interesting one.
According to Perel, people don’t necessarily cheat to break free from their partners. Sometimes, it could be a result of being dissatisfied with oneself.
“It isn’t always our partner that we are turning away from, but the person that we have ourselves become,” she explained. “It isn’t so much that we’re looking for another person, as much as we are looking for another self.”
People in ‘Happy’ Relationships Cheat, Too
Now, if you’re in a military marriage, reading this article could make you lose hope in the sanctity of matrimony regarding your chosen situation. But as it turns out, even those who see themselves in a happy marriage are also susceptible to straying from the supposed right path.
Perel’s explanation of why this happens is still connected with her previous point: people cheat out of regret and possibly self-loathing.
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“I see people in satisfying, happy relationships,” she said. “They say, ‘I love my partner; I’m having an affair.'”
“It’s not that they want to leave the person they are with; it’s that they want to leave the person they have themselves become.”
Is There a Genetic Aspect to Infidelity?
Let’s face it: the concept of monogamy has changed drastically over the years. Studies are now showing that people are more inclined towards the opposite.
But even more intriguing and noteworthy is the idea that genetics could be at play. Specifically, there’s a gene called the dopamine D4 receptor that’s more prevalent among certain people. And as this 2010 study pointed out, if you have more of this gene, you’re likely to engage in sexual promiscuity.
These studies could explain society’s shift towards polyamory and open relationships. But of course, there is still a large percentage of people who believe in marriage in its principles and being with one person for the rest of their lives.
If you’re one of those people, worry not. Yes, the time apart in a military marriage (or any long-distance relationship, for that matter) can be emotionally taxing. But if there’s a will, there’s a way.
Adult Toys Are Bridging the Gap
With the many drawbacks that modern society brings come the upsides, of course. It’s all about keeping the connection formidable and binding, and experts will attest to that.
“If you’re not working to keep your sexuality connected to your partner when you can’t physically touch them, it becomes less of a romantic relationship. You lose the intimacy that you have when you’re with someone in real life,” said certified sex coach Gigi Engle.
How do you do that? Adult toys are one way to go about it.
We’re not just talking about the run-of-the-mill products you’ll find at your local R-Rated shop. We’re talking about the 21st Century, interactive models that work even if you’re oceans apart. All you need is a smartphone, a stable internet connection, and your imagination.
A Stimulating Introduction to Long-Distance Adult Toys For a Military Marriage
If you’ve gotten this far into the article, you’re likely wondering how long-distance intimacy works. For some of you, this concept could be entirely new.
That’s where a product like We-Vibe shines best. It can help ease the burden that long-distance relationships bring, especially in those moments of longing. It is very straightforward to use, too.
Once your naughty little package arrives in the mail, the next step would be to download the product’s official mobile app. This platform will be your remote control. It literally enables you to satisfy your partner from afar. You can even do it together as a couple.
Check out the We-Vibe website for the hottest products, as well as discounts and special offers. Long-distance relationships never became this interesting.
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