Figured I’d throw out a funny (And true!) story for the weekend.

Here goes…

WARNING: If you’re easily offended, clutch your pearls now and run for the hills, because this ain’t your grandma’s bedtime story. This is raw, real, and straight out of a SEAL Team bar crawl in the neon-lit gutters of Pattaya, Thailand.

There’s something about Thailand‘s nightlife that strips a man of his common sense faster than a Vegas stripper with a credit card swiper. Maybe it’s the heat, maybe it’s the cheap booze, or maybe it’s the fact that your reptilian brain takes over the second a smiling beauty with legs for days flashes a wink in your direction. Either way, it’s where legends are born, and this one’s for the books.

The Medic and the Mirage

We’ll call him “Doc.” He was our team medic, the guy who’s supposed to patch us up when things go sideways. But no amount of combat training prepared him for the battlefield of Pattaya’s infamous Walking Street. After a dozen shots of something flammable and enough Chang beers to knock out a rhino, Doc found himself chatting up what he thought was the most stunning woman he’d ever laid eyes on. Silk dress, high heels, legs like a thoroughbred racehorse.

“You want to come back room?” she purred, batting lashes that could sweep a floor.

Doc, never one to turn down a mission, followed. But here’s where the plot thickens. As they got to the backroom, things heated up, and she kept trying to steer things towards the back entrance when Doc’s spidey senses turned on. He started feeling around and then to his shock, the lovely lady turned, smiled, and with a flick of the wrist that David Copperfield would envy—whipped out a surprise package that sent Doc scrambling like a cat on ice.

The man came back to the bar table pale as a ghost, sweating more than a sinner in church, more excited than a Catholic priest at a kids’ summer camp sleepover. He started downing Thai whiskey like it was a combat stimulant.