Let’s about face.
You didn’t bust your butt in a war zone, eat prison-grade MREs, or stare down death on some godforsaken piece of desert just to retire in a two-bedroom shoebox in Tampa, living off lukewarm beer and Social Security crumbs.
No, brother (or sister)—you deserve sun, scotch, and a government that doesn’t drain your pension like a Vegas stripper on payday.
I’ve scouted the globe (and a few black sites, but we won’t talk about those) and found the top three countries where retired military can live like kings—tax-smart, dollar-wise, and stress-free. You won’t find any “influencer” BS here. Just boots-on-the-ground truth.
🇵🇹 1. Portugal: Where Old Warriors Drink Port and Don’t Pay the IRS Twice
Portugal is the silver fox of Europe. Classy, affordable, and she doesn’t ask too many questions. I’ve lived here for over two years after the COVID shuffle and am loving it, a California climate, and the old charm of Europe.
If you’re drawing a government pension, the U.S.-Portugal tax treaty keeps greedy hands off your retirement income. And if you play your cards right under the Non-Habitual Residency (NHR) program, you might only pay 10% on your foreign income if you choose to start a business here or invest.
Add in 300 days of sunshine, stunning coastlines that make San Diego look like New Jersey, and a cost of living where your fresh seafood dinner costs less than a Starbucks breakfast back home.
Bonus: No one cares about your politics, religion, or how many tattoos you have. Everyone speaks English, and you can live free and drink like Hemingway.
Let’s about face.
You didn’t bust your butt in a war zone, eat prison-grade MREs, or stare down death on some godforsaken piece of desert just to retire in a two-bedroom shoebox in Tampa, living off lukewarm beer and Social Security crumbs.
No, brother (or sister)—you deserve sun, scotch, and a government that doesn’t drain your pension like a Vegas stripper on payday.
I’ve scouted the globe (and a few black sites, but we won’t talk about those) and found the top three countries where retired military can live like kings—tax-smart, dollar-wise, and stress-free. You won’t find any “influencer” BS here. Just boots-on-the-ground truth.
🇵🇹 1. Portugal: Where Old Warriors Drink Port and Don’t Pay the IRS Twice
Portugal is the silver fox of Europe. Classy, affordable, and she doesn’t ask too many questions. I’ve lived here for over two years after the COVID shuffle and am loving it, a California climate, and the old charm of Europe.
If you’re drawing a government pension, the U.S.-Portugal tax treaty keeps greedy hands off your retirement income. And if you play your cards right under the Non-Habitual Residency (NHR) program, you might only pay 10% on your foreign income if you choose to start a business here or invest.
Add in 300 days of sunshine, stunning coastlines that make San Diego look like New Jersey, and a cost of living where your fresh seafood dinner costs less than a Starbucks breakfast back home.
Bonus: No one cares about your politics, religion, or how many tattoos you have. Everyone speaks English, and you can live free and drink like Hemingway.
My #1 recommendation for all of the above.
🇲🇽 2. Mexico: South of the Border, North of the BS.
Close enough to sneak back for your VA appointments, but far enough that the IRS forgets your name—Mexico is the exfil route for savvy vets. Pensions and annuities are usually taxed by the U.S., but Mexico typically leaves your U.S. Social Security and retirement income alone, and you can use tax credits to dodge double-taxation landmines. Most people I know, my father included (he lives down the road from Jesse Ventura on the East Cape of Baja), just pay their home country tax and enjoy the expat life with no hassle.
The food? Real tacos. Not that Tex-Mex crap served in midwestern chain restaurants. The people? Friendly as hell unless you’re a jerk. The dollar? Goes further than a SEAL in a night op. You can rent a beach house for the price of a moldy Florida trailer dodging hurricanes.
Avoid the cartel zones (duh) and stick to veteran-friendly havens like Lake Chapala, San Miguel, Baja, or the Yucatán. You didn’t survive Fallujah to get mugged buying cervezas.
🇵🇭 3. Philippines: Tropical Chaos with a Side of Fried Pig and Dollar Dominance
Thailand? Beautiful, but lately it’s gotten pricier than a Tom Brady divorce. The Philippines wins for value, English-speaking locals, and an epic tax deal: U.S. Social Security and pensions are only taxed by the U.S., and that means you can live large without the IRS tagging your tequila tab.
The cost of living is so low that it feels illegal. $1,000 a month gets you a beachfront condo, a housekeeper who actually shows up, and enough leftover for San Miguel beer to grow a third chin.
Yeah, the infrastructure’s about as stable as a meth addict on roller skates—but you didn’t come here for roads. You came to live like a pirate in paradise.
Final Shot Across the Bow:
You served. You sacrificed. You earned a life that doesn’t include paying rent to a country club HOA board in Arizona while your pension gets picked apart like a roadside chicken.
If you want freedom, sun, and financial sanity, Portugal, Mexico, and the Philippines are waiting for you. And this time, you get to actually enjoy the deployment.
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