Hell’s Getting Crowded — Iranian Edition
If there’s one thing you can count on in the Middle East, it’s that when Israeli drones are overhead, some unlucky Iranian general is about to meet his 72 virgins. Bob Lang’s Saturday cartoon drops us into the smoldering lobby of H.E.L.L. Inc., where Iranian military brass are showing up faster than TSA agents to a bag of suspicious hummus. The Devil, lounging on a throne that screams “bureaucratic burnout,” has had enough. He’s cracking skull jokes with his demons while flipping through his overstuffed ledger, muttering about a Supreme Leader he hasn’t even had the chance to preheat a seat for.
The Ayatollah’s Frequent Fryer Program
The general in the cartoon looks like he barely made it through the door before getting incinerated, still mumbling his obligatory “Death to…” slogan like a broken Furby. You can almost hear him thinking, “I should’ve stayed in missile logistics.” The Iranian regime’s long-standing hobby of backing proxy wars and painting targets on its own commanders has turned Hell into a revolving door. If Lang’s devil is complaining about overbooking, you know things have gotten out of hand. The ledger’s full, the incinerators are clogged, and Beelzebub’s overworked HR department is two suicide bombers away from calling in sick.
When the Mossad Shows Up, So Does the Cartoonist
This isn’t satire—it’s a recurring segment. Reruns.
Israeli precision strikes have become so routine, you half expect IDF jets to leave loyalty punch cards. “One more and the next martyrdom is free!”
While Tehran spins conspiracy theories like a lazy Susan of lunacy, the IDF keeps handing out one-way tickets to the underworld with GPS-guided efficiency. And the best part? The Ayatollah still thinks he’s untouchable, like he’s the final boss in a game where all his lieutenants keep dying on Level 1.
Space is Limited, Apply in Advance
Today’s cartoon hits the mark by showing the Devil himself getting fed up. When the guy running eternal damnation is running out of room, it says a lot about your foreign policy. Iran’s the only place where martyrdom is the official career path for senior leadership. At this rate, the Supreme Leader better start updating his résumé—because the seating chart in Hell is filling up fast, and once it has hit maximum capacity, Bob Lang’s pen will be there to draw it.
Hell’s Getting Crowded — Iranian Edition
If there’s one thing you can count on in the Middle East, it’s that when Israeli drones are overhead, some unlucky Iranian general is about to meet his 72 virgins. Bob Lang’s Saturday cartoon drops us into the smoldering lobby of H.E.L.L. Inc., where Iranian military brass are showing up faster than TSA agents to a bag of suspicious hummus. The Devil, lounging on a throne that screams “bureaucratic burnout,” has had enough. He’s cracking skull jokes with his demons while flipping through his overstuffed ledger, muttering about a Supreme Leader he hasn’t even had the chance to preheat a seat for.
The Ayatollah’s Frequent Fryer Program
The general in the cartoon looks like he barely made it through the door before getting incinerated, still mumbling his obligatory “Death to…” slogan like a broken Furby. You can almost hear him thinking, “I should’ve stayed in missile logistics.” The Iranian regime’s long-standing hobby of backing proxy wars and painting targets on its own commanders has turned Hell into a revolving door. If Lang’s devil is complaining about overbooking, you know things have gotten out of hand. The ledger’s full, the incinerators are clogged, and Beelzebub’s overworked HR department is two suicide bombers away from calling in sick.
When the Mossad Shows Up, So Does the Cartoonist
This isn’t satire—it’s a recurring segment. Reruns.
Israeli precision strikes have become so routine, you half expect IDF jets to leave loyalty punch cards. “One more and the next martyrdom is free!”
While Tehran spins conspiracy theories like a lazy Susan of lunacy, the IDF keeps handing out one-way tickets to the underworld with GPS-guided efficiency. And the best part? The Ayatollah still thinks he’s untouchable, like he’s the final boss in a game where all his lieutenants keep dying on Level 1.
Space is Limited, Apply in Advance
Today’s cartoon hits the mark by showing the Devil himself getting fed up. When the guy running eternal damnation is running out of room, it says a lot about your foreign policy. Iran’s the only place where martyrdom is the official career path for senior leadership. At this rate, the Supreme Leader better start updating his résumé—because the seating chart in Hell is filling up fast, and once it has hit maximum capacity, Bob Lang’s pen will be there to draw it.
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