SOFREP Cartoon: U.S. Southern Command’s Pirate Upgrade
SOUTHCOM’s Pirate Upgrade. The mission is sus, but the fit is fire!
/
Loading video...
SOUTHCOM’s Pirate Upgrade. The mission is sus, but the fit is fire!
A tired old NCO, explaining that Pvt. Joe Snuffy is both a real-deal WWII Medal of Honor badass and the eternal, cross-branch screwup whose chaos fuels every safety brief, empowers the E-4 Mafia, and keeps NCOs living on Motrin, Tums, and pure frustration.
Japan’s commitments to Taiwan may stay deliberately foggy, but every new missile battery on the Ryukyus and every long-range purchase order in Tokyo forces Beijing to price Japan into the opening moves, because the “Taiwan problem” stops looking like a solo raid and starts reading like an alliance-triggered brawl.
A warm room, a cold blade, and a pair of elites too wrapped in their own comfort to notice the danger already polishing their silver.
Happy Thanksgiving from SOFREP!
America didn’t order a platter of bleached-clean bones, but that’s exactly what Congress keeps serving every time it pretends the Epstein files are finally on the table.
A crooked carnival where narco boats explode for pocket change and everyone smiles through the smoke is the kind of sick joke the war on drugs tells without ever bothering to set up a proper punchline.
When nuclear policy sounds like a bathroom joke, FAFO stops being a meme and starts reading like the instruction label on a world-ending button.
Putin’s idea of holiday cheer is a million body bags strung up like ornaments—proof that in the Kremlin, even failure gets a parade.
When Washington stops cutting checks, it’s the folks keeping the lights on and the flag flying who get burned—while the Beltway’s elite keep clinking glasses at the D.C. Buffet that never closes.
Two and a half centuries on, the few and the proud still storm the breach with grit, gallows humor, and zero hesitation to kick in the next door, whatever waits on the other side.
When devils start pricing snow tires and pitchforks double as ski poles, you know the ceasefire paperwork is real enough to fog a mirror, even if the lava in the background stays at a slow simmer.