“Why not Thursdays, sir?”
The captain smiles,
“Because that’s your day in the barrel, son.”
At The Railing
A navy ship leaves port with its crew after an extended stay in drydock. It isn’t far out to sea before a storm closes in and waves rise to incredible heights. Soon sailors line the railings, all throwing up over the side with seasickness. One of the sailors who isn’t sick comes up on deck and see’s his best friend vomiting like crazy,
“Tommie, I’ve known you for years. I had no idea you had such a weak stomach.”
Tommie is green but manages to croak out,
“Weak stomach? Hell! I’m puking up as far as any man here is!”
Who Dares Laugh?
A Marine Corps Drill Instructor had just finished giving the recruits in his care a real scorching for some infraction they had committed during training. For ten minutes, they stood in the pouring rain of Paris Island as he blasted them verbally. He then turned away to leave and slipped on the wet mud, and fell flat on his face.
The recruits all roared with laughter.
The DI immediately leaped to his feet and spun around to face them again,
“WHO DARED LAUGH AT ME WHEN I FELL? SOUND OFF!”
There was an agonizing moment of silence, and then a recruit yelled, “I DID DRILL INSTRUCTOR!” followed by another and then another until about 10 out of the 80 recruits admitted to laughing.
The mud-smeared DI smiled wickedly at them and said, “Get on your faces and give me 50 push-ups laughing at me RIGHT NOW!”
The recruits instantly dropped to the ground and began grunting them out.
The DI then glowered at the 70 others and said,
“AND THE REST OF YOU CAN GET ON YOUR FACES AND GIVE ME 100 PUSH-UPS FOR LYING!”
Steel Nerves
During his famous drive into Germany, General Patton was touring the front and came upon a lone soldier up on a telegraph pole stringing communications wire as mortar rounds exploded all around him. Patton was greatly impressed by this brave young dogface as he calmly disregarded the danger he was exposed to up on that pole.
Patton waited until a lull in the firing occurred, left his command vehicle, and walked up to the soldier still stringing wire,
“Son, don’t all those mortar rounds landing make you nervous?” he yelled up to the private.
“No, sir,” he replied while continuing to work, “But you sure do.”
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