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Sunday Humor: How to Look Like You’re in the Special Forces

They forgot the first rule of Special Forces: always look cool.  The second rule is to always know where you are and what you are doing.  The third rule is that even if you don’t know where you are or what you are doing than you should still try to look cool. -Jack

1. First, go to EMS and buy the biggest watch you can find. A foreign special services officer asked me once whether we recruited guys based on the size of their watches or whether we bought everyone a big watch as a reward after training.

2. Cut the sleeves off your shirt. It’s hot in the Middle East, and guys would cut the sleeves off their operational uniforms. It makes sense in certain situations, but I had to tell my team, “Look, I know it’s hot, but I need you to meet safety parameters. You’re gonna get scratched.”

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They forgot the first rule of Special Forces: always look cool.  The second rule is to always know where you are and what you are doing.  The third rule is that even if you don’t know where you are or what you are doing than you should still try to look cool. -Jack

1. First, go to EMS and buy the biggest watch you can find. A foreign special services officer asked me once whether we recruited guys based on the size of their watches or whether we bought everyone a big watch as a reward after training.

2. Cut the sleeves off your shirt. It’s hot in the Middle East, and guys would cut the sleeves off their operational uniforms. It makes sense in certain situations, but I had to tell my team, “Look, I know it’s hot, but I need you to meet safety parameters. You’re gonna get scratched.”

3. Make it your boss’s job to tell you to get a haircut and a shave.

4. Wear sunglasses. Everywhere. I’ll tell my team, “Hey, we’re inside. We can take off our sunglasses.” But they don’t.

Read the rest at BusinessWeek.

About Jack Murphy View All Posts

Jack served as a Sniper and Team Leader in 3rd Ranger Battalion and as a Senior Weapons Sergeant on a Military Free Fall team in 5th Special Forces Group. Having left the military in 2010, he graduated from Columbia with a BA in political science. Murphy is the author of Reflexive Fire, Target Deck, Direct Action, and Gray Matter Splatter. His memoir, "Murphy's Law" is due for a 2019 release and can be pre-ordered now.

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