Ain’t no use in callin home. Jody’s on your telephone. / Ain’t no use in lookin’ back. / Jody’s got you Cadillac. / Ain’t no use in goin’ home. / Jody’s got your girl and gone. / Ain’t no use in feelin’ blue. / Jody’s got your sister too.

Joe the Grinder. Joe de Grinder. Joe de. Jody.

You may have never met a person named Jody, but you’ve almost certainly met a “Jody” before. “Did you hear about the Chief? Jody came a-knockin’ while we were deployed, and now his wife is pregnant!”

Not Just a Song

Those “Dear John” letters we’ve all heard about owe their origin to Jody often. He’s that guy who offers your wife a shoulder to cry on while you’re away. He commiserates with her, understands she’s having a hard time, and is “Here to help in any way I can.” He may be a neighbor, that guy at the gym who takes too many selfies, or even the guy who just happens to always be walking his dog when your wife takes the kids to the park.

Jody is always there, on the fringe, waiting for you to leave so he can swoop in and take yo’ shit. He’s not in the military, probably because he’d “punch in the drill sergeant’s face in if he yelled at me like that!” The uniformed world couldn’t handle his skills, and he already knows how to kill with just one finger; he learned from YouTube. Every woman is simply dying to swoon at his feet. They just don’t know it yet.

You can believe Jody is lurking on Facebook, in spouses’ groups, on unit pages, waiting to learn when all the husbands are leaving. He sees you carrying A-bags to your car and even waves as you drive away. Hell, he may even offer to cut your grass while you’re gone. “Gotta support the troops!”

You probably don’t know him, though. Jody is an A-hole, but he’s not likely your buddy. He is an opportunist. That’s why he lurks on Facebook. He may have “kicked the drill sergeant’s ass” but doesn’t want to confront you. It’s a lot easier to worm his way into your girl’s life when he is there, and you’re not. You’re half a world away, figuring the calculus of time zones and daylight savings’ to figure out if your girl is even awake.