Col. (Ret) Nate Slate: The Family of Man

Toward the end of my year in Iraq, I was surprised to find that I worried about leaving the country before the mission was complete. 

I had missed my family so much for so long.  Yet, when I thought about leaving Iraq with the mission not complete, I felt sad. Part of me thought that we should all stay until the mission was accomplished.  They were talking about sending new Soldiers, many from the reserves, to Iraq.  Why not add them to the numbers we already had, I thought.  I could imagine how much nation-building we could accomplish with those resources. 

The governor of Taji, Mr. Fucher, said the Iraqis could develop into a democracy if only we would stay and watch.  There was fertile soil in Iraq for change.  A democratic society could be developed over time, with the right mentorship.  That had become clear.

What would happen when we left?  Would the forces that followed be able to maintain the relationships we had earned with the Iraqis?  Culturally, the Iraqi people were not good at transferring their loyalty.  Loyalty was a matter of trust and trust took time to earn. 

I thought about the Soldiers in the great wars.  They did not complain about the harsh conditions or the long time away from family.  They signed up to stay in Europe until the wars were won.  Because of their sacrifice and perseverance, the wars were won.  Should we do less? 

On a trip down south along the main supply route, I stopped to visit our outposts along the way.  While walking the perimeter, I visited with a guard.  The young man seemed troubled.  He asked me if he could ask me a question.  I was glad to receive it.  He told me that he was dealing with remorse about leaving Iraq.  He felt like he was betraying the mission by leaving.  I shared with him that I, too, had those feelings.  I assured him that we were setting the conditions for the units who would relieve us to have success.  I encouraged him to look forward to his reunion with family and not have any feelings of guilt.  He had done a great job.  It was another Soldier’s opportunity to serve. 

As I walked away from this Soldier, I wondered if I could take that same advice.  We had lost Soldiers in Iraq.  Serving in Iraq, I felt very close to them.  When I left Iraq, how would I feel?  Would I have to come to terms with these feelings? 

Everywhere we went in those days, the Iraqis came in droves.  They were excited about the progress.  They were optimistic about the future.  It was very encouraging.  It seemed to me that the conditions were set for success.  Starting with a blank sheet of paper, we had come a long way in nation-building.  Together, the Iraqis and Americans had forged a relationship that progress could be built upon.  Would our departure crumble this house of cards?

I missed my family terribly, and yet, it seemed that my family had grown so much.  Certainly, our troops were part of our extended family.  It had been so for a long time.  But, after trials and tribulations, my Iraqi allies had become like family as well.  I wondered if this was the meaning of the term “Family of Man.”

As the sense of family grew, so did the sense of responsibility.  It made leaving Iraq very hard to do.