News Roundup: Vigilantes Guard Recruiting Stations, The Feminist Male, Bowe Freaking Bergdahl

The Army is Not Happy: 

…about armed civilians who have been appearing at recruiting stations in several states in the wake of the Chattanooga shootings, ostensibly to help guard against such attacks.

According to Stars and Stripes, a U.S. Army Recruiting Command policy letter issued on Monday warns soldiers to “avoid anyone standing outside the recruiting centers attempting to offer protection and report them to local law enforcement and the command, if they feel threatened.”

The directive follows last week’s attack by lone gunman Mohammod Youssuf Abdulazeez on a recruiting station and another military facility in Chattanooga that resulted in the deaths of five service members.

The U.S. Army newspaper reports: “Armed citizens—some associated with activist groups and militias—were standing vigil outside recruiting centers in Wisconsin, Georgia, Tennessee, Idaho, and elsewhere this week, saying they want to provide protection to servicemembers barred from carrying firearms on duty.”

I admire the sentiment. But, you cannot have people just showing up outside military recruiting areas and hanging out with loaded weapons in full view. Look at that picture above. Would you want to walk past that as a kid in high school? Who are those guys?

The best of intentions are admirable, seeing how the government is yet again trying to deny that we are in a war against Islamic extremism. Hard to muster the gumption to defeat an enemy if you can’t even bring yourself to name the enemy. I get it, I get it. But you can’t have this. I mean, if anything, stay low-vis in a car. If ISIS does pull up, they’ll never see you. That will allow you to leisurely inflict green-tipped freedom rounds in 5.56mm doses upon their domes. Tactics, man.

No doubt all of the gun owners who showed up were angry at the federal government’s mealy-mouthed response to the Chattanooga shootings. I know they meant well. Some may have even been qualified. But who knows? I don’t know their intentions or abilities. For all I know, one of Mohammed Abdulazeez‘s buddies could be showing up under the guise of offering protection. Worse, I don’t know if they are even safe to be around with firearms.

Civilians may not realize, but most of the military doesn’t actually have a great deal of weapons training. Sure, everyone gets to go to the range once a year or so, and qualify under the most stringent of safety regulations. But that is way different than actually handling and manipulating firearms for an extended period of time.

For example: Outside of a few specialized units, few military members practice drawing from the holster and delivering effective shots with a handgun on a regular basis. This is where a tremendous amount of negligent discharges occur. Everyone remember this famous clip?

And that was a federal law enforcement agent, who, one presumes, has had experience in timed range shooting drills from the holster. Now imagine a herd of civilians who’ve shot a handgun a few times gathering around a local strip mall to compare their latest Tommy Tactical Ultra Crusader Rail System with fully loaded weapons.

I’ve personally seen military members who were, presumably, formally trained with firearms, act stupid on the range. “Safety violator” doesn’t even do the clownage justice. I’m talking poor gross and fine motor skills, constant fumbling, poor muzzle awareness, inaccuracy, you name it. And those were military veterans! And those were in range conditions, which is to say safe, controlled, conditions. These recruitment centers are often in crowded strip malls.

So forgive me if I am not immediately confident in the tactical abilities of the 450-pound redneck who shows up spraying diabetes everywhere. I don’t know you, brother, and I’m sure as hell not about the turn my back on you while you’re holding a loaded Evil Black Rifle. I’ve seen the YouTube videos. And I love you, rednecks. You’re my boys. Yes, I will be your commander. But from a distance. A vast, oceanic distance.

It would be easy to say, “Well, let’s just arm the recruiters.” On paper, I have no issue with it. But, like everything else, it gets tricky when you start talking about the actual implementation. I can already see the Infowars crowd screaming about Posse Comitatus. I can already see the incredible rise in negligent discharges.

Still, I’m for it. We need to do something. These events are only going to continue. Our soldiers need to be on guard against an enemy with no uniform, who is now in our backyard and plotting behind closed doors, day and night.

Marines Looking at Purple Hearts for Shooting Victims:

The Marine Corps has confirmed that it has prepared Purple Heart award packages for the Marines killed last week in Chattanooga, Tennessee.

The Federal Bureau of Investigation, however, must first formally declare ties between the shooter, Mohammad Youssuf Abdulazeez, and a foreign terrorist organization before the packets can be submitted.

“Determination of eligibility will have to wait until all the facts are gathered and the FBI investigation is complete,” Marine Corps public affairs officer Maj. Clark Carpenter told Marine Corps Times.

The Marine Corps is also looking into the criteria and requirements for awarding the Purple Heart to Sgt. DeMonte Cheeley, a recruiter who was injured in the attack, said Capt. Alejandro Aguilera, a spokesman for 6th Marine Corps District.

The national government propagandists news media are still collectively scratching their heads trying to figure out what could have been the motive for a guy named Mohammed Youseff Abdulazeez who just liked to do online research about jihad, martyrdom, and the teachings of Anwar Al-Awlaki. They just can’t put their finger on it. Depression? Maybe! Keep in mind that this was the same media that figured out Dylan Roof’s motives about 10 seconds after the Charleston shooting took place.

At least they’re going for the Purple Heart awards right away. It only took about four years, but the feds did finally admit that Major Nidal Hasan was motivated by religious extremism, and not workplace violence. So, if it takes less than that amount of time for them to admit that the same was the motive in this case, as well as the future attacks sure to come, will that be progress?

Fake Marine Busted for Fakery:

SAN RAFAEL, Calif. (KGO) — The ABC7 News I-Team is investigating how poorly a Marin County gym owner treated some of the young men who came to him for training. Greg Allen shut down his business in May after the I-Team revealed he lied about being a military hero and that the FBI is investigating possible criminal charges.

Allen put himself out there as a war hero and a former Marine drill instructor who knew how to get someone in shape. But the real professionals tell the I-Team that some of what Allen did at his gym was abusive and dangerous.

“My name is Gregory Bruce Allen, retired first lieutenant United States Marine Corps,” he said in the video.

Allen wore a rack of phony medals, including a Purple Heart and Bronze Star with “V” for valor. He also lied about being a Recon Marine, a sniper with two tours in Vietnam.

Here we go again. How many times do I have to tell these guys? When you’re stealing valor, don’t get greedy. Just say you used to be a Marine, if you’re going to lie about it. It’s when they start trying to wow people with “how black my ops were” everyone gets suspicious.

Later that morning, Lazor said Allen held a hose over kids’ faces, as they lay outside on the ground.

“You have to scream like non-stop, otherwise the water goes in your mouth and the only way to prevent yourself from choking is to, is just to keep screaming cause as soon as the water gets into your mouth you start choking and then it’s just a disaster,” he said.

Several sources told the I-Team that Allen often used that technique with the hose.

Any PJ/SEAL is very familiar with the old hose-to-the-face move. Usually, we were wearing a diving mask, fins and booties and knocking out flutter kicks on concrete somewhere. Nobody screamed, Lazor. I know you were probably just a kid, but continually screaming while getting the hose treatment is actually not the preferred technique. Work on it.

Let me take this opportunity to announce that if anyone is interested in getting trained on how to receive verbal abuse and/or the hose water to the face, I am available at very generous rates. Get a quote from me @BKactual.

Actually, I changed my mind.  I’ll do it for nothing.

Feminist Male is Worse Than Ebola:

As I write this, my children are asleep in their room, Loretta Lynn is on the stereo, and my wife is out on a date with a man named Paulo. It’s her second date this week; her fourth this month so far. If it goes like the others, she’ll come home in the middle of the night, crawl into bed beside me, and tell me all about how she and Paulo had sex. I won’t explode with anger or seethe with resentment. I’ll tell her it’s a hot story and I’m glad she had fun. It’s hot because she’s excited, and I’m glad because I’m a feminist.

Let us assume that this article is not satire, as was my initial suspicion. I know, who can tell these days, amiriteorwat? I’m still not 100 percent that it was written in earnest, but, let’s carry on as if it were. And, in the current political climate, it is certainly believable.

This has to be a white leftist. Now, I have no way of proving that, but it fits, right? Like, you can’t picture a Latino guy doing this. Even for the ones that are proud Marxists, they still have a certain…um, machismo in their culture. The white male liberal’s machismo, on the other hand, has been systematically dismantled by years of brow-beating and verbal lashings from the feminist left. Yeah, I’d put some money on it.

I’m going to go out on a limb and take a guess that Paulo is most certainly NOT sitting around the house wondering about his feminist bona fides. As a matter of fact, old Paulo is probably thanking God that, after Ye Olde Sexytime, he gets to kick the chick straight out because her eunuch husband is waiting for her at home.

Yeah, when Paulo is finished, uh, pleasuring the housewife, he doesn’t even have to feel obligated to cuddle. After cruising up the old dirt road, he gets to walk her to the door and resume playing Xbox. He probably doesn’t even pay her cab fare. Everyone likes Paulo.

Aspiring Strongman Brushes Off Classified Material Leak:

Washington (CNN): The inspector general for the intelligence community has informed members of Congress that some material Hillary Clinton emailed from her private server contained classified information, but it was not identified that way.

Because it was not identified, it is unclear whether Clinton realized she was potentially compromising classified information.

The IG reviewed a “limited sampling” of her emails and among those 40 reviewed found that “four contained classified [intelligence community] information,” wrote the IG Charles McCullough in a letter to Congress.

McCullough noted that “none of the emails we reviewed had classification or dissemination markings” but that some “should have been handled as classified, appropriately marked, and transmitted via a secure network.”

So 4 out of 40? Let me check my math. That’s 10 percent, right?

The four emails in question “were classified when they were sent and are classified now,” spokeswoman Andrea Williams told CNN.

McCullough said that State Department Freedom of Information Act officials told the intelligence community IG that “there are potentially hundreds of classified emails within the approximately 30,000 provided by former Secretary Clinton.”

Clinton on Friday criticized what she called “a lot of inaccuracies” in brief remarks about the classified emails.

She added that she had released 500 pages of emails and that “I’ve said repeatedly that I will answer questions” posed by a congressional panel.

Remember, she didn’t release the actual emails. No, the shithead did what shyster corporations do when it comes to lawsuits: She printed out pages of emails so you can’t do a digital search on them, hence making life a lot more miserable for investigators.

So let’s go to the obvious desk. If you had done nothing wrong in terms of disseminating classified material, wouldn’t you want your name cleared as quickly as possible, particularly if you were mounting a campaign for the position of president of the United States?

She couldn’t care less about this. She knows the investigators in Obama’s Justice Department are only going through the motions. She has other things to do:

“But I’m also going to stay focused on the issues, particularly the big issues that really matter to American families,” she said.

I’m a family. A big issue that really matters to me is secretaries of state who hide emails on personal servers with classified information on them.

In the past, Clinton has denied sending classified information from her personal sever.

“I did not email any classified material to anyone on my email,” Clinton said at a news conference in March. “I’m certainly well aware of the classified requirements and did not send classified material.”

Bowe Freaking Bergdahl:

Army Sgt. Bowe Bergdahl was seen at a Northern California marijuana farm during a raid last weekend, where the former captive of the Taliban-linked Haqqani network in Afghanistan was reportedly visiting friends.

According to the initial report from The Anderson Valley Advertiser, Bergdahl was an “unexpected visitor” at the Mendocino County farm, which is approximately 120 miles up the coast from San Francisco. He had “no connection to the dope grow,” according to that report.

Bergdahl is currently awaiting a preliminary hearing on charges of desertion, after being returned to the United States in May 2014 as part of a prisoner swap in exchange for the release of five Taliban detainees at Guantanamo Bay.

Bergdahl wasn’t arrested. But isn’t that nice? He’s running around the California coast smoking some Kush, rollin’ some muhfuggin’ blunts, and listening to Cypress Hill while you’re out slaving away at your job, which you hate and secretly fantasize about torching to the ground. Why isn’t he being confined to base? Can you believe that this guy was repatriated over a year ago, and they still don’t have him in the brig?

And They Wonder Why Donald Trump is Leading in the Polls:

President Obama’s Immigration and Customs Enforcement (ICE) director tells lawmakers that no consequences are planned for sanctuary cities until Congress first passes ‘comprehensive immigration reform.’ Sarah Saldaña testified before a Senate Judiciary Committee hearing on criminal alien violence.

This is the new argument on why the federal government cannot deport illegal alien felons. We heard human scrotum Josh Earnst already come out with this line of attack right after the murder of Kate Steinle by an illegal immigrant. If only we passed the amnesty bill (for that is what it is), you see, this could have been prevented. And if you believe that, you shouldn’t be allowed to vote.

Honestly, I’m not sure where they get these psychopaths. To be able to sit and listen to testimony from families who have had children murdered by illegal immigrants and then just tell lie after lie is really…something. And people wonder why Donald Trump is developing a following?

This is starting to look like a religious cult. It is somehow unacceptable for one of the two major American political parties to be in favor of deporting convicted illegal immigrant felons. And has anyone even asked the president about this? After all, he greatly enjoys inserting himself into cases that involve heroin dealers and guys who punch cops in the face and steal, but he couldn’t give two shits that a non-criminal American woman got shot to death by an illegal alien from Mexico. And, unlike those other two cases, his policies are directly responsible for this murder.

After hearing emotional testimony from families torn apart by illegal immigrant murderers, Republican members of Congress grilled two administration witnesses: Leon Rodriquez, Director of United States Citizenship and Immigration Services (USCIS), and Sarah Saldaña, Director of Immigration and Customs Enforcement (ICE). Both Rodriquez and Saldaña have been tasked with carrying out President Obama’s executive amnesty for so-called DREAMers, which includes work permits and medical benefits for low-income illegal aliens funded by citizen taxpayers.

Sen. David Vitter (R-LA) repeatedly pressed Saldaña on why the Administration was taking no action against sanctuary jurisdictions that refuse to turn over dangerous criminal aliens from their prisons and jails to federal law officers. Saldaña replied that Congress would first have to pass “comprehensive immigration reform.”

There it is. This is a total lie. Under existing federal law, the government could easily deport violent illegal alien felons, yet they refuse to do so. Because, in their twisted heads, they figure they can get something out of it. Again, you wonder why people are supporting Trump? I mean, I’m glad David Vitter is challenging her on this, but this is done with…decorum. Civility.

Vitter: “This has been going on for years and you still are not prepared to say that there is ever going to be any negative consequence to those [sanctuary] jurisdictions. When is that going to change?”

Saldaña: “I presume when you all address comprehensive immigration reform; perhaps it can be addressed there.”

Vitter described Saldaña’s answer as “ridiculous” and kept pressing: “And absent Congress passing that [Senate immigration] bill, that you and the Obama administration prefer, you don’t think right now we can stop sanctuary cities from flaunting federal law? You don’t think right now there can be any negative consequences when they do not properly cooperate under existing federal law with immigration enforcement?”

Saldaña gave a muddled reply: “That’s what I understand that all of you are working on.”

Not good enough. Remember how quickly the Feds responded to Arizona’s attempts to enforce laws against illegal immigration, saying they were stepping out of their lane? Stating that immigration was solely the responsibility of the federal government? That’s all we heard about for weeks. This is a state with policies that are in direct violation of the federal government’s jurisdiction. Where is that crew?

Thousands of illegal immigrants, once detained, are released to go on to commit more crimes, which means that every single one of those crimes was 100 percent preventable. Go look at the evidence for yourself. Let’s not forget about Los Angeles, another sanctuary city, and the pedophile rapist they released. I don’t want to hear about your “conversation” or “process,” and I don’t want to hear about your idiotic “round table.” I am not talking about the illegal guys working 12 hours a day in the fields right now. These are people who have been convicted, in court, for felonies and violent crime.

Neither party has any intention of defending the country from illegal alien felons. That is the harsh truth. Oh, but Jeb! is going to enforce immigration law, right? Out, out, out, GET THE HELL OUT.

If Donald Trump is the only guy who actually does something about this, the vigorous enforcement of existing immigration law, I could give a shit about his other “progressive” beliefs that the conservative media is handwringing over. He could raise taxes 90 percent. He could double our welfare rolls. He could make the minimum wage 100 bucks an hour. He could hand out “free” government health care. He could institute mandatory marathon viewing sessions at the glory hole down at the local bathhouse, and I’d still vote for him over Jeb! or Hillary.

Well…maybe not that last one.

And all of the TV pundits are sitting around scratching their heads, confused why Donald Trump is leading in the polls. They are so completely unprepared for a guy like this: a guy who loves the limelight, is entertaining, has nothing to lose, plenty of dough, and doesn’t give a fuck. Seriously, during the Republican presidential debates, he might call Jeb! a pussy. Which leads me to type a sentence I thought I’d never type in my life:

I cannot wait for the Republican presidential debates to begin.

Nude Buzz Lightyear Arrested:

AUSTIN — A naked homeless man was arrested after police say he was harassing people by the drag near the University of Texas campus, according to an arrest warrant affidavit.
Nathan John Pearson, 31, was arrested and charged with injury to the elderly after police responded on Sunday to a disturbance in an alley in the 2200 block of Guadalupe Street, the affidavit said.

What the hell is going on with this guy’s head?

A 66-year-old woman was walking to her car from the Church of Scientology around 3:50 p.m., when a naked man grabbed her and repeatedly called her “grandma,” the affidavit said.

The woman told police she could not breathe for about a minute while the man pressed her against his chest, the affidavit said. The woman also claimed the suspect’s sweat got in her mouth. When the man let her go, he continued walking up the alley until he grabbed a man from behind and started “humping him,” the affidavit said.

Eww. His sweat got in her mouth. Freaking gross.

When an officer told Pearson to get on the ground or he would use his stun gun, Pearson jumped onto the victim’s back, grabbing him around the neck like he was riding “piggyback,” the affidavit said. The officer used a stun gun and placed Pearson in handcuffs when he fell to the ground, the affidavit said.

Police said Pearson appeared to be under the influence of some medication or drug because he had a strength that seemed unnatural, was rambling and would scream that he was “Buzz Lightyear,” the affidavit said.

More like BUZZED Lightyear. Thank you, thank you.

—@BKactual

(Featured image courtesy of timesfreepress.com)