SOFREP’s April Cartoon: The US Navy fights COVID-19

Our U.S. Navy is at war with the novel Coronavirus. Theodore Roosevelt, the aircraft carrier of former Captain Brett Crozier, is currently inflicted with Coronavirus to the tune of 678 sailors of its 4,069-man crew testing positive for the virus.

The Navy is recommending that the ship’s recently dismissed Skipper Brett Crozier be reinstated once again as that vessel’s Captain. The decision lies at present with Secretary of Defense Mark Esper, who will no doubt hang onto that decision for as long as possible to keep the attention crosshairs on his person:

“Oooo, Mark Esper! What’s Mark Esper doing? What’s mark Esper thinking right now about the important decision that only he possesses the amount of greatness required to make. Oooooo, I wonder which way he is going to go on the big decision??? Let’s all talk about Marky-Mark Esper!”

Mark Esper on decision day:

“America, I’m going to be announcing my big decision soon, but first I want to talk a little bit about my philosophy on decision making — ahem! — the first decision I ever made was as an infant; I had to choose between a chew toy or a rattle… bleah bleah-bleah bleah bleah bleeeaaahhh.”

I hate it too that the chineez in chiner are saying:

“Hey, Wang Chung… you remember that aircraft carrier skipper they fired a couple of weeks ago for pulling a Hillary Clinton with his email? Well, get this… they are hiring him back on as the skipper to the same carrier again. I know, right? They are. The Americans really are all phuqt up! We’re going to kick their as in the war — come on, let’s celebrate by eating offal with two sticks!”

Alas, I’m afraid that is how we look to those people. But it doesn’t stop there; there’s also this:

“No, I’m serious Wu-Tang Kran… you know that bioweapon virus we engineered in our P4 lab in Wu Han, the Democratic Obama administration help fund that, they literally paid to get infected with a deadly virus. Maybe if we send them some Hsien H-6k heavy bombers they will bomb themselves and he can just stay here and eat some offal with sticks. No, I’m not full of shit — you’re the one that’s full of shit… no, phuq you too!!”

And so it goes.

We laugh at ourselves; if not, who CAN we laugh at these days.