Navy SEAL’s Stripper Lap Dance Gone Wrong

Editors note: The following text contains content intended for mature audiences. If you are under 18 or anticipate feeling discomfort or offense, we respectfully urge you to discontinue reading. Given its potentially sensitive nature, this material may not align with everyone’s taste or values. We strongly advise that you do not read this and risk being offended. 

——

We were at a strip club in Guam with the boys when one of my teammates, Derik got up to have a private dance with this incredibly hot Asian stripper. 

She looked half Thai and half Chinese, super hot; everyone at our table was jealous until we weren’t. 

Turns out Derik took her back for a private lap dance, and things started to get pretty heavy fast. She started to kiss him on the mouth, rub and grind in all the right places.

Then she asked him, “You like anal? Do me here?” as she pointed to her backdoor. 

“My lucky day!” Derik must have thought (I am ad-libbing here). At this point, Derik was so turned on he would have liked anything he told us, but something felt off to him, he said. 

Being a medic, maybe it was intuition, but he did a quick package check that revealed a handful of frank and beans. He said it was taped to disguise the little schnitzel as best possible but he was full stop at this point. The he/she (talk about confusing pro nouns!) then looked upset and was scared. 

“You not mad?” he/she said. 

“No, just glad to sort this out before things went too far.” 

Fast forward a few hours later, and this guy Chris comes to our table and starts bragging about how he just nailed some gal in the chocolate starfish.