The Quintessential Kamala Harris: The First Everything woman

Kamala Harris is Joe Biden’s running mate in the 2020 presidential election. Does Joe know that? We can only wonder. It seems Kamala Harris has big plans for the presidency, ones that don’t really include creepy uncle Joe Biden at all. I chose a flattering photo of her for my feature image because she is quite the handsome woman after all. But as flattery goes — it stops right now.

She’s a block-check candidate, putting herself out there as checking the most “first blocks” of any candidate to date:

First female president

First black female president

First Asian female president

First Hindu president?

Born to a British Jamaican father and a mother from Asia. Now, would that be Jamaican father and an Indian mother… or a Caribbean father and Asian mother? How about a northeastern hemispherical mother and a northwestern hemispherical father? I get it, Asia covers a much larger portion of the world than just plain old India. An everywoman should want to claim representation for as much of the world as possible.

Let’s be for real, yo… presidential elections are continuously more and more about pandering than any other current pretense that used to be what elections were about. It’s about how many sides you can be on at the same time that gets you the votes. That’s why the Nation’s First Panderer, Hillary Clinton, used to develop a southern drawl when she campaigned below the Mason-Dixon Line in the Bible Belt:

“Howdy, y’all… y’all go ’n vote for Miss Hillary now, ya hee-yah?”

Then she’d pop down to San Fransisco’s China Town, stretch the corners of her eyes back with her index fingers:

“Ah sooo…. You go vote for Hirraly Crinton — chop, chop!”

She already had the of-color vote, most of-color voters being democrats, the of-color party. The GOP is the not-of-color party — that’s how it is in America. That didn’t stop Hillary from skipping up to Detroit for a caucus with her posse though:

“Day-am… the hawk be out tuh-DAY!! Why the hawk always be out in Detroit — shit, muthuh fuckuhs!”

But I genuinely think Murica is so over Hillary Clinton. She lost Murica’s attention the day she ran into the Anti-Christ at the Mall of the Americas and the Anti-Christ shit his pants and cried: “MOTHER OF GOD!!” We’s tired of her specious campaign speeches in which she constantly portends to “roll up [her] sleeves” and get to work! The last time that cow did any work was when she had to squeeze her own lime into her rum and coke.

Kamela is accepting an interesting amount of garish awkwardness in her effort to lock in the of-color vote by sucking up to the Jake “the snake” Blake family for their part in staving off the sustainment of “systemic racism” in ‘Murica. Jake “the snake” served the cause by breaking into a female’s bedroom and raping her mercilessly.

That somehow doesn’t connect the dots very smoothly for me. There has got to be a few seconds of footage missing from that surveillance cam tape. Ah, yes… then when the cops tried to arrest him for his crime he resisted so violently that they were compelled to engage him in a no-fault-found shooting.

That whole scenario goosed Kamala and made her all tingly inside. She expressed her pride in Jake for his un-fake snake work in m’lady’s boudoir. I’m pretty confident she wants Charles Manson on her cabinet but there’s just too dad-blamed much red tape in getting him to and from work. She also can’t count on that campaign donation from Jeff Epstein, the prescription meds from Doctor William Cosby or the pre-film screenings promised to her by Harvey Weinstein.

Kamala is the Everywoman. She’s for all of us — for everyone. She is going to roll up her sleeves and clean up this country once and for all. She is the new face of Free $hit! Free $hit is the key to the success of the Democratic party’s dominance of Capitol Hill. Dems gonna get free rent, free healthcare, free lunches, free transportation, free phones… their money for nothin’ and their chicks for free! It’s gonna be a paradise.

Where is cracker-ass whitey Biden in all this? He ain’t, that’s where. He’s in a daycare wearing Depends and sucking jello through a straw on Sundays. He’ll be lucky if he can make it to his own inauguration where he will likely raise his left hand and swear that poor kids are just as smart as white kids.

Yep, Kamala doesn’t hold her cards very close to her chest, and you can force her hand with just a suspicious glance. Just recently, she let slip in an official forum, when discussing the economy, what America would be like under “a Harris administration together with Joe Biden” — oops!

Where does that leave ol’ Joe “wandering extremities” Biden? He has rights too, you know! Yes, as a citizen of the United States of America he is granted rights under the… the thing — you all know it! The fact is, the lying dog-faced pony soldier himself has got wires attached to his head and limbs with Kamala pulling on them guiding him on exactly how to act, like a good patsy.

The only bad aspect of Kamala’s potentially losing the election this November is, sigh… she’ll just be back next election, and that’s a huge oh-$hitter! But hey, maybe by then Mitt Romney will… will… bah — never mind! You know, Mitt Romney busted Pelosi’s balls for getting her hair done one-scene at a beauty salon, boasting that he stays at home and has his wifey cut his hair. That’s cute, Mitt… Ice-G stays home and cuts his own hair too.

By Almighty God and with honor,
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