Sytyem error.
System error.
System error.
Now, don’t get me wrong, USAA has some of the best customer service I’ve had in banking, but it’s like we were all locked inside the crazy house with no way out.
I felt like I was trapped in an episode of Severance.
They weren’t able to resolve what seemed like a never-ending technical error. They just admired the problem with me until I was ready to chew through my arm to end the call.
Ok, maybe it’s because I’m in Portugal and the system can’t send to my address (even though it has worked in the past). I’ll be in New York for two weeks for a father-son trip and sort it out then.
I was too optimistic.
The New York Bait and Switch
I finally thought I caught a break while I called for the seventh time from the ACE hotel in Manhattan. I finally managed to get through to a supervisor who said with confidence that she was manually pushing a card through to me.
Finally, yes!
I flew back to Portugal, waiting for that FedEx envelope like it contained the secret coordinates to the lost city of gold.
The envelope arrived. I tore it open, ready to finally have access to a card so I can pull some cash.
Then I looked at the expiration date with shock: 02/2026.
I received the card on March 1st.
It appeared that the card had expired the day it was issued.
You have to be joking.
USAA sent me a card that was already dead on arrival.
I thought I caught a glimpse of light at the end of the tunnel, only to see it was the train lights coming straight at me.
It’s a level of incompetence so profound it almost commands respect.
This is how it would go:
- Call and hold. Get a service rep. They’d verify me, my address, read it back, try and order a card then get hit with a system failure error. They’d ask me to try on my mobile app. System error I’d say. “I don’t know what is happening they’d say.” Call back tomorrow and try.”, they’d say again.
- I’d call back and get more of the same for about 4 calls. They open IT ticket after IT ticket. No resolution.
- Then finally I got a supervisor who ran the same process. “Call back tomorrow, maybe our system will reset.” More IT tickets stacked on more IT tickets. This went on for weeks.
- Finally, I escalated the issue to member resolution team. The nice lady manually pushed the card through. New card, already expired the day it was shipped (insanity).
- Back in Portugal for week five and now I know to ask for member resolution right away. More hold, I get Josh, very nice and he is in disbelief staring at the history. He files a formal complaint, and says someone will call me (nobody has called, just a friendly email from Pam below with no return call.)
- I left two messages for Pam and finally reached my breaking point yesterday.
It’s like we (me and USAA customer support) were on board a runaway plane hijacked by AI, with the autopilot steering us into the ground, and there is nothing we could do about it.
They say insanity is doing the same thing over, and over, expecting a different result.
The “Pamela” Ghosting
Pamela. Ah, Pamela. She wrote me a nice little note, implying she was the one to finally fix this catastrophe. I called her back twice. Radio silence.
Apparently, the “Resolution” part of her job description doesn’t involve actually picking up the phone.
Thank you for bringing your concern to our attention. My team at USAA Federal Savings Bank works in conjunction with the CEO’s office, and I’m researching what occurred. I’ll contact you shortly to discuss this further.
If you need to reach me, please feel free to call me at 210-531-USAA (8722), 800-531-8722, (TTY:711/TRS) or #8722 on a mobile device and enter extension (#Redacted) when prompted.
Sincerely,
Pamela
Advocacy Advisor
USAA Federal Savings Bank
Look, I get it. Every major bank is currently obsessed with “Digital Transformation.”
But it would appear that USAA has plugged some half-baked AI banking software into the mainframe, and it’s currently eating the members’ experience (and USAA staff) for breakfast.
But for an expat who relies on that card to pull cash and live a life, this isn’t just a glitch.
It’s a breach of trust. 6 weeks and still no replacement ATM card. No call back.
My Extraction
Leaving USAA feels like finally gathering the courage to rush to pack a bag while the abusive partner is at work.
For twenty-five years, I stayed because it was “what we do.” We’re military. We use USAA. It used to be a great place to be a customer.
In all honesty, they were one of the first sponsors of SOFREP.
But I pulled the plug on working with them when they habitually paid us late. Not a few days or weeks. I’m talking a few months late.
At one time, their advertising agency (Publicis) had four invoices over 6 months old. It was affecting my team’s morale and disrupting our cash flow. That’s how USAA takes care of veteran-owned businesses they partner with.
I stayed on as a customer, anyway, because I loved the service, until I didn’t. When they can’t ship a piece of plastic that actually works, this is where my story ends.
I’m moving to Navy Federal Credit Union.
*If you’ve had similar experiences with USAA, SOFREP wants to hear from you. Please share in the comments below or message us directly.
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