A Navy SEAL Picks the Top 5 Star Wars Weapons

Ok, yes, this Navy SEAL sniper is a HUUGE Stars Wars nerd!!! I know the difference between a regular blaster and an ion blaster and what is preferred against droids (ion, duh!). And let’s face it, not all Star Wars weapons are created equally, even Chewy would agree with me.

So, I will apply my Navy SEAL skills and pick the top five Star Wars weapons.

In a Galaxy Far Far Away, There Were Ground Rules

When choosing the top five Star Wars weapons I applied a simple philosophy, “How would I outfit a Special Ops Rebel Forces Gorilla Unit?” Then things started shaping faster than a Bantha on a keto diet.

But there’s one ground rule: These picks are close-quarter weapons, not Starship-grade. Enjoy!

1) Heavy Blaster Pistol

If it’s good enough for Han and Chewy… well, good enough for me.

According to Star Wars fandom, “Heavy blaster pistols were basically cut-down blaster rifles, utilizing a more highly powered gas chamber, firing larger, more damaging bolts with a wider beam. Though bulkier and heavier than a standard blaster pistol, the heavy blaster’s advantage was firepower.”

2) Ion Blaster

“We’re doomed!” is the typical C3PO response upon seeing an ion hand cannon.

In the SEAL Teams, our version of C3PO would be the SWCC guys. (Just kidding!)

In the Star Wars weapon universe, you aren’t just dealing with organic lifeforms. So, surely will need an ion blaster to disrupt the circuitry of any Empire droid with a bad attitude. The weapon also renders any kind of technology useless.

Therefore, the ion blaster would be essential carry, or what we call EDC (Everyday Carry), and rightfully earns a spot in my Top Five Star Wars weapons.

3) Wrist Rockets (High-powered)

Who doesn’t love rockets fired from your wrist!? Like a weaponized Apple watch! I’ll take them all, please! If their great portability isn’t enough, these wrist rockets lock onto movement making them extremely lethal.

Aside from high-powered rockets, you can outfire your wrist launchers with the following fine samples:

• Anti-personnel rockets;
• Stun rockets;
• Flash rockets that use intense light to cause temporary blindness;
• Anti-vehicle rockets powerful enough to damage and disable vehicles;
• Ion-blast rockets that, like the ion blaster, use ion damage to affect droids and cybernetic systems;
• Hollow-tip rockets that inject the target with a nerve toxin or explode with stun gas.

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=uQPMq-42OeE

4) Thermal Detonator

Most problems (including your ex-spouse) can be solved using the proper application of high explosives. Enter, the thermal detonator. Also known as a thermal grenade the thermal detonator is akin to, you guessed it, a grenade. But it is highly unstable and packs much more power.

The instability of the explosives will require some special handling. Nevertheless, the rewards will be tremendous as these things create the 50o pound bomb-like explosions. It’s like a hand-thrown precision airstrike.

This is why everyone just about ran out of the room when Princess Leia, disguised as a bounty hunter, rolled the safety back on a thermal detonator trying to bump the bounty Jabba the Hutt had had out on Chewbacca. The grenade would have vaporized everyone there in an instant, that’s why Jabba was willing to make a deal.

And it seems everyone in the Star Wars universe has realized the value of this monster as it is used by the military, bounty hunters and mercenaries, and even lowlifes.

Among the Star Wars weapons, the thermal detonator is a must-have. I’d say you need to carry at least two. Check out the Ka-Boom that these grenades give off in the video below.

5) Lightsaber

OK. You knew this was coming. Who doesn’t want a lightsaber for up-close “wet work,” as we say in Special Ops world? Plus, unlike a knife fight, there’s not much of a mess to clean up after a lightsaber fight. A friend of mine killed a Somali pirate with a blade once and it was quite messy. He had blood all over himself and had to get a full blood workup to make sure he hadn’t contracted HIV.

But don’t be complacent. The lightsaber requires quite a bit of training to use. It’s extremely light and produces a strong gyroscopic effect. So if the wielder doesn’t have the necessary strength and dexterity the lightsaber, awesome as it is, won’t be of much help to them. Do you think all those Jedi hadn’t put in hundreds of hours of training to use the weapon?! Of course, they had, and so must you.

Let’s Have Ourselves a Rebellion!

“On me!”

These are my top picks to go up against both droid and organic enemies of the dark side of the force.

We’ll get into flying machines and large Starship and Planetary weapons soon. I hope you enjoyed this article and I look forward to seeing your own picks in the comments below.