You Can Pin Medals on a Corpse, But It Still Stinks of Death
Vladimir Putin just strutted through Red Square like a peacock on bath salts, flexing his crumbling empire during Russia’s annual Victory Day (VE Day) parade. The tanks were polished, the boots snapped in unison, and somewhere off-stage, Stalin’s ghost probably sobbed into his vodka.
But this wasn’t your run-of-the-mill post-Soviet nostalgia wankfest. No—this one was different. This was Putin playing geopolitical theater with Xi Jinping as his front-row guest, signaling to the West: “I’ve got friends, motherf**ers.”*
The problem is, this parade was less about victory and more about vanity—a desperate dog and pony show galloping in circles while the circus stable burns behind it.
The China Card: Short-Term Gains, Long-Term Pain
Putin’s bromance with China is real, public, and as transactional as a strip club handshake. Xi Jinping’s warm seat at the VE Day ceremony wasn’t just symbolic. It was a calculated move, a puffed-up middle finger to NATO, Washington, and anyone who still believes Russia is isolated.
And sure, the sanctions hit hard—Russian oligarchs are parking their yachts in shadier harbors, the ruble’s had more ups and downs than a meth-fueled orgy, and Western companies have ditched Moscow faster than a Tinder date gone wrong.
China’s economic duct tape is holding the Kremlin’s rusted machinery together—for now.
Yet let’s not romanticize Beijing’s position. Xi has his own dumpster fire brewing. Between a stagnant post-COVID economy, a youth unemployment rate that looks like a Bitcoin chart, and a population aging faster than an Art Basel banana in the sun, China isn’t exactly riding high. Its support for Putin is pragmatic, not loyal—a marriage of convenience with divorce lawyers on speed dial.
You Can Pin Medals on a Corpse, But It Still Stinks of Death
Vladimir Putin just strutted through Red Square like a peacock on bath salts, flexing his crumbling empire during Russia’s annual Victory Day (VE Day) parade. The tanks were polished, the boots snapped in unison, and somewhere off-stage, Stalin’s ghost probably sobbed into his vodka.
But this wasn’t your run-of-the-mill post-Soviet nostalgia wankfest. No—this one was different. This was Putin playing geopolitical theater with Xi Jinping as his front-row guest, signaling to the West: “I’ve got friends, motherf**ers.”*
The problem is, this parade was less about victory and more about vanity—a desperate dog and pony show galloping in circles while the circus stable burns behind it.
The China Card: Short-Term Gains, Long-Term Pain
Putin’s bromance with China is real, public, and as transactional as a strip club handshake. Xi Jinping’s warm seat at the VE Day ceremony wasn’t just symbolic. It was a calculated move, a puffed-up middle finger to NATO, Washington, and anyone who still believes Russia is isolated.
And sure, the sanctions hit hard—Russian oligarchs are parking their yachts in shadier harbors, the ruble’s had more ups and downs than a meth-fueled orgy, and Western companies have ditched Moscow faster than a Tinder date gone wrong.
China’s economic duct tape is holding the Kremlin’s rusted machinery together—for now.
Yet let’s not romanticize Beijing’s position. Xi has his own dumpster fire brewing. Between a stagnant post-COVID economy, a youth unemployment rate that looks like a Bitcoin chart, and a population aging faster than an Art Basel banana in the sun, China isn’t exactly riding high. Its support for Putin is pragmatic, not loyal—a marriage of convenience with divorce lawyers on speed dial.
Ukraine: The Bloody Albatross Around Putin’s Neck
Let’s be real—Ukraine was supposed to be a blitzkrieg. Quick, decisive, and glorious. Instead, it’s been a meat grinder. Russian troops are still stuck in the mud, morale is low, and Ukrainian resistance is turning out to be a masterclass in grit, tech, and Western-backed tenacity.
I’ve written in the past that historically it takes an invading army with an overwhelming ratio of bodies to take over a country with a well-established insurgency. Just look at how America failed in Vietnam, and don’t get me started on Afghanistan.
Putin’s bet was that the world would blink. But instead, he’s bleeding manpower, hardware, and whatever’s left of Russia’s international reputation. You can parade nuclear missiles through Red Square all you want, Vlad—but if your army’s getting its ass kicked by drone operators in hoodies, you’ve got a bigger problem.
Burning the House to Keep Warm
Here’s the question that history will chew on: Will Putin be remembered as the man who rebuilt the Russian empire—or the madman who torched it for a ghost of the past?
Because if this war drags on—and it will—the cost won’t just be economic. It’ll be generational. Russia’s brain drain is real. It’s losing a large chunk of the younger male population. Soldiers are dying. Families are fleeing. And that old Soviet glory, Putin loves to cosplay? It’s decomposing under his boots.
Victory Day used to mean something. Now it’s a cheap charade—a rotting stage with a man in denial at the center, playing dictator while the roof collapses. He’s turned Russia into a mafia state on life support, propped up by Chinese IOUs and the kind of nationalist propaganda that saw the decline of the Soviet regime.
The Verdict: History Has a Long Memory
Putin might win a battle or two, but he’s losing the war with time. The question isn’t whether he can hold on. The question is: What’s left when he finally lets go?
Will he be remembered as a strongman who defied the West? Or just another tyrant who burned down his house to keep the illusion of power alive?
Time’s ticking, Vlad and Trump know he holds good cards and pot odds.
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