“Mother of pearl, we’ve got some fevers and dry unproductive coughs — ABANDON SHIIIIP!!”
Skipper Brett Cozier got “Das Boot” (aha) for dissent and loss of confidence in his ability to lead. He actually really did make a dick move, and it was a real shame that he was so well-liked by his crew. I don’t have so much as a theory on the skipper’s thought process that produced this butthead move of his. Maybe he can write about it in his next book: And I Did it My Way.
As long as those superior beings, who reside in the rarified gas layer just north of the stratosphere, are in a firing-kinda mood, how about they drop the swing blade on that pompous pretentious piece of poop Secretary of the Navy Thomas “Godly” Modly — ya feel me, dawg? Whenever a person thinks they are of lofty enough status to call one our country’s carrier skippers “too naive or too stupid to command a ship,” it might be time for that brotha to descend back down to where the reality and oxygen are.
Those were the words he used in a broadcast to the crew aboard Cozier’s aircraft carrier. He also chastised the ship’s crew for cheering Skipper Cozier off the ship. Why kind of cock feels it necessary to scold an entire aircraft carrier of ~5,000 people for not behaving just exactly the way he thought they should. Godly Modly also went so far as to leave the crew of the carrier with these words of encouragement:
The guy is such a tool. I thought I had seen a big penis when I got internet-coronavirus-pranked by a picture of porn actor Wood, but this Modly guy makes Wood look like he just stepped out of a cold shower. This dick stain Modly is sloppy drunk with power. He needs to be exiled to shovel manure onto a really large potato field for a couple of weeks to remind him that shit stinks and his is no different. How did my confused army bro say it? “If there is a man here who can shit with his pants on, let him stand now and show it.”
And this porn guy Wood… how do you greet him before noon — “Morning, Wood!”?
Start Tangent
On a cop show I recently watched an apprehended meth dealer was trying to plead with the cop for leniency by employing a humanistic angle:
(Meth Man) “Come on maaan cut me some slack… I’m only human — come on we all wear our pants the same, maaan.”
(Cop) “Yeah, I’m really not sure what that’s even supposed to mean.”
I’m tossing a blind assumption that meth man meant: We all put our pants on one leg at a time.
End Tangent
What message does it send the virus-cookin’ China when we fire the skipper of a carrier for anything short of treason during a world crisis? We might need to reach into our reserve pool of 7-11 convenience store cashiers who can stand in as carrier skippers. Yeah I know we don’t have any of those — my point is a carrier skipper is impossibly hard to come by, yet we fire one for failing to get his boat’s shrimp platter chilled down to the proper 58 degrees F in the galley.
Come get us, China; we’ve got our head shoved so far up our ass we have bite marks on our chin!
For the longest time, the only thing our once-proud navy has been able to accomplish is to get tattoos, get a shit-ton of Asian girls pregnant in ports of call, and transmit the largest volume of classified military secrets to the Petri dish of pestilence China. The best thing the fleet has going for it is shit-hot pilots, SEALs, and SWCCs — despite the latter’s occasional light chop on bay waters.
Why the fornicate do I constantly picture the Village People dancing in my head singing a medley of: “In the Naay-veee…” and “It’s fun to stay at the YYYY-M-C-A…?”
Okay so to sum it up, the Army is the Army, the Air Force is the Air Force, the Navy… yeah what in the HELL is the Navy anymore? I wish I had never learned the story of the Battle of Midway because then I wouldn’t have a reference point of how unbelievably great a Navy could be. This present incarnation of it would just be the only Navy I would have ever known. When foreigners IM me asking what the hell is up with the American Navy, I could just tell them:
“Oh, no that’s just our Navy; they’ve pretty much just always been a huhangus screwup — yuk-yuk-yuk!”
By Almighty God and with honor,
geo sends
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