News Roundup: West Point Pillow Fight Beat-Down, Obama Selfies, Military Pilot Caught With 800 Pounds of Cocaine

Dozens Injured in West Point Pillow Fight:

When signing up for the military, a pillow fight is perhaps not the first place you imagine yourself getting injured in the line of duty.

But that is exactly what happened to 30 cadets at West Point on August 20 as the traditional end-of-training brawl got out of hand.

One had to be taken away in an ambulance, another was left with a broken leg, and dozens suffered from dislocated shoulders and concussions, it has been reported.

According to the New York Times, some cadets had stuffed helmets and body armor into their pillow cases in an attempt to inflict maximum damage on those taking part.

Images uploaded to social media after the fight show cadets with blood streaming from their noses and mouths, while others brandish blood-spattered pillow cases.

Video of the fight, which takes place in the central court yard of training barracks, shows cadets wearing helmets and body armor rushing in from all sides before laying into each other.

Glow sticks can be seen being thrown from the upper windows, while smoke bombs also seem to be let off among the brawling bodies.

What appear to be laundry carts loaded up with several cadets are also pushed out into the yard at speed and seem to hit several pillow fighters as they go.

In response to the injuries, Colonel Kasker, spokesman for the academy, said: ‘West Point applauds the cadets’ desire to build esprit and regrets the injuries to our cadets.

‘We are conducting appropriate investigations into the causes of the injuries.’

He added that there are currently no plans to discontinue the fight, and nobody is currently being punished for causing the injuries.

You really have to watch the video of this. Watching the future commanders of our army beating the hell out of each other with body armor gave me warm, fuzzy feeling in my nether regions.

Can you imagine if this had happened at, say, UCLA? My God…the handwringing that would have followed would have been a sight to behold. There would have been universal condemnation. Roundtables would be convened. Conversations would have been had. ROOT CAUSES would have been discussed ad nauseam.

But this isn’t a normal university. This is West Point, and I have zero problem with men and women who may find themselves in a future war laying a little wood on each other. After all, you never know when you’ll find yourself in an Afghan wadi, armed with nothing other than a pillowcase and your Kevlar when Terry Taliban comes running at you.

Good for West Point for the solid “meh” when it comes to commenting publicly on the fight.

Jerkoff San Diego Soccer Players Cause Plane to Be Diverted:

El Cajon residents Saiman Hermez, 19, Jonathan Khalid Petras, 20, Ghazwan Asaad Shaba, 21, Essa Solaqa, 20, Khalid Yohana, 19, and Wisam Imad Shaker, 23, returned to El Cajon after being charged in an Amarillo courtroom with interfering with a flight crew, according to the Neighborhood Market Association, a group of Chaldean business owners in El Cajon.

The six men play for San Diego Chaldean Soccer League. They were allegedly arguing with a flight attendant who wouldn’t serve them alcohol during the flight bound for Midway International in Chicago on Monday night when the incident escalated. A passenger heard the defendants call the flight attendant a racist and a pig and they men also argued with a passenger seated behind them, according to a criminal complaint.

So four out of the five of them weren’t even legally of age, and they’re demanding to be served booze?

The complaint also alleged the defendants were repeatedly standing up and becoming increasingly louder and attempted to incite other passengers to join their protest. Their aggressive behavior prompted a flight attendant, who said she was in fear for the safety of the crew and passengers, to ask the pilots to divert the aircraft.

Good luck with that, guys. “EVERYONE JOIN US IN OUR SHOUTING MATCH WITH A FLIGHT ATTENDANT!” You mean to tell me that the rest of the passengers didn’t stand up to join the cause? I’m shocked. Shocked I tell you.

Mark Arabo of the Neighborhood Business Association disputed Southwest’s account of the incident. In a statement issued Friday, he wrote:

“We are pleased to bring back these young men who have went through hell and back. They acted irresponsibly, but the actions taken by Southwest Airlines were shameful. After discussion with passengers, as well as the young men in question we are beginning to receive a much fuller image as to what happened. There are blatant discrepancies in the story by Southwest Airlines. The response by Southwest indicates a culture of intolerance within the airline. And after consideration of the incident, we are currently looking at the possibility of a joint lawsuit.”

It doesn’t sound to me like he’s disputing the account at all. He even admits that they acted like a bunch of assholes. Let me help out dim-bulb Mark Arabo. First off, why are you getting involved? Second, what do you think is more likely: A flight attendant just lost her mind and started going all Bull Connor on your sweet kids, or five young guys acted like assholes? How come nobody ever tells the news, “Yeah, they were dicks.” Is that too much to ask?

Here’s some friendly advice. In this day and age, five young Arabic men standing up and shouting on an airplane is going to result in a bad day. You can scream about racial profiling all you want, but that’s the reality. I’m not sure being hauled off a plane and perp-walked in front of news cameras is worth trying to make a point about some racial grievance. But hey, feel free to turn yourself into a civil-rights martyr. Just know that you won’t get home on time, you might be tazed, and you’ll be forever Google-able. Hope it’s worth it.

What is it with people on planes that causes them to go berserk? Is it really too much to ask that you sit down and shut the hell up for a three- hour flight? Goddamn. I hate flying.

You Better Behave, Marine:

The Marine Corps birthday ball is a spectacle every year, a celebration of the military branch’s founding more than 200 years ago. In recent years, some Marines have even tried to invite celebrities, such as actress Mila Kunis, who showed up as one Marine’s date in 2011. This year, the newfound tradition goes on. Marine Lance Cpl. Jarrod Haschert asked his celebrity crush, the unstoppable mixed martial arts fighter Ronda Rousey, to the upcoming Marine Corps 240th birthday ball with a video.

Rousey responded — with an enthusiastic yes in a video posted to the website TMZ.com, and no one was more surprised than Haschert himself.

Outstanding job, Corporal Haschert. Just remember, once the ball is over with and a drunken Ronda demands that those famous dress blues come off, you better hurry the hell up and get to pleasing her lady parts before she chokes you out.

Militant Homosexual Attempts to End Military Chaplain’s Career:

A Navy chaplain accused of failing to show “tolerance and respect” toward gay sailors has been cleared of all wrongdoing and will not be removed from the military.

“I am relieved the Navy sided with me,” Lt. Cmdr. Wes Modder told me.

Modder, a highly decorated veteran who once ministered to an elite Navy SEAL unit, had been given a “detachment for cause” letter in February.

He was removed from his job after his commander accused him of being intolerant and unable to “function in the diverse and pluralistic environment” of the Naval Nuclear Power Training Command in Goose Creek, S.C.

This is how far it’s gone. Now we have military chaplains being reprimanded for not being enthusiastic enough toward gay dudes getting married. Except that didn’t even actually happen.

“On multiple occasions he discriminated against students who were of different faiths and backgrounds,” wrote Capt. Jon R. Fahs, the chaplain’s commanding officer, in a memorandum obtained by Fox News.

Instead, the chaplain, who is endorsed by the Assemblies of God, was cleared of all wrongdoing and will be allowed to retire — marking the end of nearly 20 years of military service.

When you read the article, it becomes clear that this Captain Jon Fahs doofus didn’t have the slightest shred of proof that this was even the case. However, the message has been sent loud and clear: There will be no dissent from the Gay Marriage Is Teh Awesome orthodoxy that the military is ruthlessly championing. In the end, it worked: He’s still getting out of the military, so mission accomplished.

Say, how did the chaplain even come under scrutiny in the first place? 

Earlier this year, a gay married officer was assigned to be Modder’s assistant. The assistant initiated the complaint against the chaplain because of his views on homosexuality and same-sex relationships.

Now why on earth would a gay married man be assigned as a chaplain’s assistant? Isn’t that kind of bizarre? Did he request that MOS? It isn’t really a big secret that Christians, by and large, believe marriage is between a man and a woman.

“I believe some of what the lieutenant has alleged could constitute a military crime – false statements, taking what the chaplain said and twisting or misconstruing it in an attempt to get the chaplain punished,” Berry told me.

So we have what appears to be some militant gay guy who was on a mission to run Modder and his Crimethink out of the military. Unless, you believe that Modder was stupid enough to go around screaming about sodomy and the gays, which I really doubt. And why isn’t this gay officer named in the story?

Narcissistic Teenage Girl Tours Alaska:

ANCHORAGE, Alaska — President Obama isn’t just traveling to places no president has gone before, he’s doing things no president has done before when it comes to technology and social media, as he hopes to get his message out on climate change.

The president visited the remote villages of Dillingham and Kotzebue in Alaska for the first time Wednesday, but also posting an online travelogue of his journey and used a GoPro to shoot it himself, selfie style.

“Hi, everybody, we’re at Kenai Fjords National Glacier Park,” he says direct to camera, with about 20 people in the background. “Behind me is one of the most visited glaciers in Alaska, and it is spectacular.”

The president writes in a post on Medium that he “did his best to do the place justice, when the team handed over the camera.”

He’s also taken over the White House Instagram feed, posting only photos he takes himself, like a selfie with reality TV star Bear Grylls.

COME ON, GUY. Is it too much to ask for just a SHRED of dignity from the office of the president of the United States? This guy literally has an army of photographers tracking his every move, and he feels the need to take his own pictures? Not to mention with a freaking SELFIE STICK?

He should be impeached for that alone. Also, if you own a selfie stick, I demand you to throw yourself into the ocean. For the good of the species.

Look, B.O…I tried to look past the mom jeans. I gave you a pass with your goofy goddamn bike helmet. I even tried to overlook your pathetic baseball-throwing ability. But this? You’re killing me, man. I shouldn’t expect too much from a Kenyan interloper crazed marxist egotistical guy, but still, I hold out hope for SOME shred of self-awareness.

Meanwhile, Vladimir Putin is shooting guns, racing Indy Cars, wrestling bears, and having sex with Michelle Obama (probably). Step your game up, Obama. It’s embarrassing.

Navy Vows to Keep Spending Millions On Failed Minehunting System:

The Pentagon blew $700 million on a minehunting system for the Navy which continues to receive abysmal performance marks, according to an annual report released by Republican Sen. John McCain.

McCain’s report, called “America’s Most Wasted,” identifies the most egregious examples of waste in the Department of Defense to illustrate the brokenness of the weapons acquisition system.

Over a 16-year period, the Pentagon sunk $706 million of taxpayer dollars into the Remote Minehunting System (RMS). The idea of the system was to detect and destroy sea-based mines, but it has not delivered on its promises. Many now view it as no longer acceptable, given that the RMS no longer qualifies as new, experimental technology.

A test in 2007 revealed that the RMS could not be even be deployed aboard destroyers for test purposes because of its noted unreliability. This unreliability followed the RMS into 2008, at which point the Navy abandoned the idea of an actual experiment and tried to run simulations on paper, instead.

I love that. See, they can’t run an ACTUAL experiment, because the results might not be as intended. But if it’s just a simulation, why, it exceeded expectations!

A memo written in August 2015 by the Pentagon’s top evaluation officer stated that “recent developmental testing provides no statistical evidence that the system is demonstrating improved reliability, and instead indicates that reliability plateaued nearly a decade ago.”

But the Navy appears dedicated to clinging to the failed system.

Air Force Readying to Drop All Physical Standards For PJs; Controllers: 

WASHINGTON — The Air Force could field its first female commandos by 2018 after a months-long review of physical standards required for its 4,000 special operators, according to military officials.

The military services have until the end of this month to petition Defense Secretary Ash Carter for an exception to allowing women into ground combat roles. By Jan. 1, all of the military’s jobs, including special operations, will be open to women unless Carter grants an exception.

Mark this down: I have a better chance of Stacy Keibler calling me out of the blue and professing her lust for me than Ash Carter saying “no” to females in ANY slot. Regardless of performance, or practicality, there is NO WAY that Carter grants an exemption to anyone. The narrative has been set, and the narrative must be followed through.

Currently, pararescue jumpers must meet standards that include timed tests for running 1.5 miles, swimming on and under water, 10 pull-ups in one minute, 54 sit-ups in two minutes, and 52 push-ups in two minutes, according to an Air Force fact sheet…

Those numbers listed are just to start day one of Pararescue selection. This is the P.A.S.T test, or Physical Agility and Stamina Test.

…A female Air Force captain who took part in the study predicted women would be able to qualify to become special operators. She spoke on condition of anonymity because she was not authorized to speak about the tests publicly.

She’s 6-foot-1, fit and athletic. Runs carrying weight and climbing over obstacles were not a problem, she said, adding some of the tasks “any girl could do.” More problematic for her were tests that required pull-ups.

Yeah, no kidding. And it was problematic for my medical school application when it was discovered I couldn’t read, do math, or have any knowledge of human anatomy. Upper-body strength is just a LITTLE BIT IMPORTANT for the modern commando.

My prediction is that we will see a repeat of the Ranger School female experiment: an enormous amount of time, money, and manpower devoted to finding the one female out of ten thousand who can meet the bare minimum, all to advance The Narrative. Which is DERRRR DERRRR ALL GIRLS CAN DO ANYTHING MEN CAN DO DERRRR.

The Army’s M60 Bridge Tank in Action:

https://www.youtube.com/watch?t=156&v=ZUvymC24KO8

Now that is cool! I mean, as long as the obstacle to be crossed is only like 30 feet. If it’s 32 feet, you’re screwed.

Army Can’t Figure Out How Not To Ship Anthrax:

WASHINGTON — U.S. Army Secretary John McHugh has suspended operations at four Defense Department laboratories that handle biological toxins, as the military scrambles to explain and correct problems that led to the accidental shipment of live anthrax to dozens of other labs around the country and the world.

In a memo Thursday, McHugh also ordered a safety stand-down and directed a broad review at nine department labs involved in the production, shipment or handling of biological toxins.

“The safety review ensures labs will follow appropriate protocols for handling materials, including proper training, record-keeping, and standard operating procedures,” McHugh wrote. “Each lab will report back on its findings within ten days.”

The nine labs under review in the U.S. are in Ohio, Massachusetts, Maryland, Virginia and Utah. Others are in Egypt and Peru.

How hard can it be to not ship anthrax?

Navy Chief Pleads Guilty to Child Porn:

CHESAPEAKE, Va. — Chief Mass Communications Specialist Ryan Courtade pleaded guilty Aug. 25 in Chesapeake, Virginia, Circuit Court to a charge of possession of child pornography — a video he shot of a minor.

Courtade, 34, and a 15-year Navy veteran, is due back in court Nov. 13 for sentencing and faces up to 10 years in prison for the charge.

The minor told police that Courtade had recorded her showering; a search of Courtade’s computer, the documents said, came up with a 24-minute video of the girl showering. Courtade also admitted that the camera belonged to the U.S. Navy.

That’s not good, Chief. And you didn’t even have the decency to use your own friggin’ camera? Come on, man.

Also, 24 minutes? That’s a long-ass shower. I’m in and out of there in like five. Maybe ten, if the Pacific Ocean was particularly sea-weedy on my daily swim.

Bolivian Air Force Pilot Enjoys Flying, Cocaine:

LA PAZ, Bolivia (AP) — A senior Bolivian official says an Air Force captain has been detained as he tried to take off from near the Peru border with 362 kilograms (796 pounds) of cocaine in his plane.

Government Minister Carlos Romero identifies the pilot as 34-year-old Yimy Jose Urzagaste.

He told a news conference Friday that the drug was destined for Brazil, where he said it would be worth more than $1 million.

Romero says officials investigated the pilot when he appeared to simulate a kidnapping and turned up hundreds of kilometers (miles) from his unit.

Good try, Urzagaste. I kind of want to party with this guy, although I’m kind of unclear on how this plan was supposed to work. Like, how did he see that going down, exactly?

Urzagaste: “Thank God you’ve rescued me! I was kidnapped!”

Investigators: “What’s with the 800 pounds of cocaine?”

Urzagaste: “Shit.”

Dopey Contractors Attempt to Bribe Inspector:

A Tennessee company hired to install fiber optics cables on Joint Base Elmendorf-Richardson has pleaded guilty to attempting to bribe an Air Force inspector who discovered faulty work.

Crossville-based ADA Station Communication Inc. and company vice president Herschell Becker pleaded guilty to bribing a public official Aug. 27. A federal jury subsequently convicted employee John (aka Jack) Becker of bribery Thursday in Anchorage.

Prosecutors say one of the employees placed $5,000 in an envelope in hopes of paying an Air Force official to cover up for deficient work.

During inspections of two of the five contract locations, the Air Force official found “numerous discrepancies”, according to prosecutors. The official asked the company to fix the problems.

The following day, Herschell and Jack Becker offered the inspector $10,000 to accept the work as-is .

“During the meeting, the Beckers told the Air Force official they could ‘pad his pockets’ and ‘the less people that know the better,’ the U.S. Attorney’s office wrote in a news release.

The official declined the payment, and the Beckers offered the money a second time, according to prosecutors.

The inspector told authorities about the attempted bribe. Prompted by investigators, the Air Force official met again with the Beckers later in the summer. At that meeting, the pair offered $5,000 cash if the official agreed to accept faulty fiber optic installation work.

Just to publicly put it out there: We here at the SOFREP News Roundup are perfectly willing to be bribed. You give me 5,000 bucks in an envelope, I’ll write whatever you want.

Hygienic Man Washes Clothes in Lake in Birthday Suit:

PRESCOTT, AZ  – A Phoenix man was arrested Sunday after he was seen washing his clothes in Lynx Lake near Prescott. He was reportedly nude and exposing his genitals.

Yavapai County Sheriff’s officials say a female camper at the lake reported seeing 54-year-old Olof Torne naked.

When she asked him to put some clothes, he allegedly became verbally abusive to her and nearby visitors.

I’m just shocked that he was actually WASHING his clothes. Our local beach beggars here in San Diego are wearing clothes that haven’t been washed in a decade. So at least he’s clean, I guess.

I’m going to guess that, like most men who enjoy being nude in public, this guy is a chiseled, ripped, eight-pack-having God of a man. Let’s go to the mugshot:

Hmmm. I could have been slightly off.

The suspect left in a black vehicle prior to arrival of deputies. As deputies checked the area, dispatchers received a call from the local campground host that the suspect was attempting to enter his trailer without permission.

The camp host told deputies Torne had identified himself as a “felony recovery expert” and needed to check his trailer. The host declined and had to force the door from Torne’s grip when he tried to enter.

Good one, Olof. Find me on twitter @BKactual.

(Featured image courtesy of i.ytimg.com)