She is also a board member at Out & Equal, where she continues to push for greater diversity and acceptance in both military and government communities.
Commander Shilling’s leadership and courage have broken barriers for all service members, according to her, proving that dedication and skill—not gender identity—define a person’s ability to serve.
The Transition
Commander Shilling publicly came out as a transgender woman in April 2019, shortly after President Donald Trump reinstated restrictions on transgender military service. At the time, the policy required service members to adhere to the gender assigned to them at birth, preventing them from openly transitioning while on active duty. Despite these restrictions, Shilling remained committed to her career, earning a promotion and continuing to serve as a top officer in her field.
By her account, her journey toward self-acceptance was deeply personal and challenging. For much of her life, she says she struggled with her gender identity, describing how she spent 36 years “trying to figure this out and fight it.” Eventually, she reached a point where suppressing her true self was no longer an option and made the decision to transition. However, due to the military’s restrictive policies at the time, she was forced to live a dual life—presenting as male at work while living as Emily in her personal life. She described this experience as exhausting but necessary in order to continue serving until the policy environment changed.
When former President Joe Biden reversed the transgender military ban in 2021, Shilling was able to serve openly as a female. She successfully completed medical and psychological evaluations to confirm her continued fitness for duty and has since said that transitioning has made her a more effective leader. Living what she calls authentically, she believes, has strengthened her ability to connect with her fellow service members and lead with confidence and empathy. Today, she continues to advocate for inclusivity in the military while serving with distinction in the U.S. Navy.
About The Executive Order
Donald Trump’s recent executive order does not immediately ban transgender individuals from serving in the military, but it paves the way for a highly restrictive policy that could lead to an eventual ban. The actual policy will be formulated by SECDEF Hegseth.
The order prohibits transgender service members from serving openly and directs the Department of Defense to revise its policies to prioritize “readiness and lethality.” This includes barring gender-affirming medical care, preventing the use of pronouns that do not match a person’s sex assigned at birth, and restricting access to facilities like sleeping quarters and showers based on gender identity.
While this order is similar to Trump‘s 2017 policy—which barred new transgender recruits and restricted medical transitions—it appears to be more punitive. The new directive does not provide clear guidance on what will happen to currently enlisted transgender service members, but it raises concerns that they could face discharge or lose their benefits once the policy is fully implemented. As the Department of Defense moves forward with these changes, many fear that transgender individuals who have served honorably could be forced out, putting their careers and livelihoods in jeopardy.
Reaction to the Ban
The executive order, signed on January 27, 2025, declares that a soldier being transgender “conflicts with a soldier’s commitment to an honorable, truthful, and disciplined lifestyle, even in one’s personal life” and asserts that transgender individuals “cannot satisfy the rigorous standards necessary for military service.” It’s more about military readiness and ability to deploy than anything else.
In response, Commander Shilling expressed profound disappointment and concern. She remarked, “This policy undermines the values of honor and integrity that our military stands for. It sends a message that discrimination is acceptable, which is contrary to the principles of equality and justice that we have sworn to uphold.”
Legal and Political Ramifications
The ban has sparked immediate legal challenges from advocacy groups. Organizations such as GLAD Law and the National Center for Lesbian Rights have filed lawsuits alleging constitutional violations and seeking to block the executive order. These groups argue that the policy is discriminatory and lacks a basis in evidence regarding military readiness or unit cohesion.
Politically, the decision has drawn criticism from various quarters. Representative Scott Peters (CA-50) condemned the ban, stating, “This policy is a step backward for our military and our nation. It undermines our values and weakens our armed forces by denying them the service of dedicated and qualified individuals.”
The Path Forward
As the legal battles unfold, Commander Shilling remains resolute in her commitment to serve and advocate for her fellow service members. She continues to emphasize the importance of unity and resilience within the military community. “We must stand together,” she asserts, “to ensure that all who are willing and able to serve are given the opportunity to do so, regardless of their gender identity.”
The coming months will be pivotal in determining the future of transgender service in the U.S. military. The outcomes of the legal challenges and the responses from military leadership will play crucial roles in shaping policies that align with the nation’s values of equality and justice.
Secretary Hegseth has been given the task of deciding how he will implement President Trump’s executive order regarding the fate of transgender individuals in the military. Regardless of what he decides, I feel he has the best interests of our warfighters in mind and will work hard to build the United States Military into the most lethal fighting force in the world.
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