Your Beard Won’t Stop Sarin Gas: Survival Belongs to the Soldier Who Shaves

Facial hair has long been associated with military leadership and rugged masculinity. However, in the context of modern chemical warfare, beards pose a direct threat to survivability. This article refutes the romanticized notion of the “warrior beard” by grounding the discussion in historical precedent, NBC doctrine, and current military policy. From WWI trench hygiene to banana oil testing in Cold War civil defense, through the destruction of legacy chemical stockpiles at Dugway and Tooele, and now to mandated seal checks in 2025, the evidence is clear: seal integrity is life, and that seal begins with a clean-shaven face.

Bloated Generals and Bureaucracy Are Weakening America

When a televised roll call of admirals replaces a clear mission, you know the brass has swollen, the bureaucracy is smothering the fight, and our rivals are happy to watch us polish our parade skills while they sharpen their knives.