People, especially those who have served in the military, are drawn to the Bowe Bergdahl case mainly because of the ramifications of his decision to leave his post while serving in Afghanistan. His decision to willingly leave his post put men in harm’s way while attempting to locate him. Berghdahl ultimately paid a heavy price and spent five years in Taliban custody. He now may also serve time in a military prison. One has to question what Bergdahl’s perspective was, and what could have compelled him to endanger his life and the lives of others. Most see him as a deserter who put others in harm’s way, while he apparently sees himself quite differently.

Bowe Bergdahl’s lawyer recently released his interview transcript from the AR (Army regulation) 15-6 investigation conducted on August 06, 2014. The prosecution is accusing his lawyers of violating the court protective order by releasing the interview transcript. The 373-page document consists of an interview of Bowe Bergdahl by the appointed investigating officer, Major General Kenneth Dahl. Others in attendance during his interview were Mr. Eugene Fidell (civilian defense counsel), CPT Alfredo Foster (defense counsel), and the court reporter. The investigating officer lists the charges against him as: being absent without leave, desertion, and fraudulent enlistment.

Many have referred to Bowe Bergdahl’s decision to leave his post in Afghanistan as a result of a mental breakdown. Yet it appears to be more than a one-time-only type of mental breakdown. He had panic attacks in Coast Guard basic training, which ultimately resulted in an uncharacterized discharge. The social and emotional challenges of the Coast Guard basic training seemed to overwhelm him due to his conservative background and his lack of life experiences. He did not feel ready to be responsible for other people’s lives. Bergdahl said,

They came in and asked me some questions. And I believe I said something about–I was trying to say, basically, “I can’t save these people.” Because the pressure was, honestly, all the way up until that point, the information I was getting from my family, especially my dad, was that I can’t succeed in anything, that I am a failure. So, when I got to–that never played a part until I got to that point in my life and I was looking around and I had seen what I was supposed to do as a team member. These people are in this ocean. We have to save them. My team members are next to me. They are relying on me to keep [sic-have] their back. So, the pressure that was in that Coast Guard basic was me and what I know of me as a failure. And suddenly I am responsible for someone else’s life. So that added to the pressure and that’s what kind of brought about the panic attack and that’s when I did my best. I mean, I think I did my best to convey that to whoever was talking to me. What they ended up doing was they ended up–I think he was a psychiatrist because he ended up having me sign something. After that, that [panic attack] is what dropped me from–I got an uncharacterized discharge from the Coast Guard.”

The investigating officer seemed to be trying to get more information regarding Bergdahl’s prior Coast Guard enlistment and Army enlistment. The charge of fraudulent enlistment presumes that Bergdahl may have lied during his enlistment in the Army. During the interview, Bergdahl does not allude to any falsifying of facts in this regard, just that this incident was a significant period of time in his life. He saw this as a huge failure that he needed to over come by enlisting in the Army.

After reviewing his interview, you are left with an impression of a man that has very limited social capacity and an inability to see the gray areas in life. To him, it appears that everything is either black or white—nothing in between. He doesn’t have the capacity for sarcasm or jokes, as everything he experienced was taken in the literal sense. Multiple examples are found throughout his interview. Like the following incident, during his pre-deployment inspections: his command sergeant major opened up with a sarcastic remark that Bergdahl took very literally.

So here we are, we’re standing here, the sergeant major and the lieutenant colonel are doing their talks. The sergeant major is going to do his. He opens with, “I know you all joined because you want to rape, pillage, and kill. That’s why I joined. However, you need to think about COIN.” Now, what hit me about that immediately this was the first time I had heard anything from the sergeant major. Like, I saw him in NTC. He was going around pulling privates to go clean things up. All right. But I never had any actual interaction with him. So this was the first time I actually heard him talk about anything, about what’s going on here. And when he said that, immediately what popped into my mind was basically what you’re saying is, “You joined because you want to be a rapist, a thief, and a murderer.” Because that–to kill–you say, “Rape, pillage, and kill,” that’s literally going back to Genghis Khan. Now, the issue of Genghis Khan in Afghanistan is a completely different subject that we’re not going to get into. But so it was like I was a little taken aback by it because that’s not why I joined. I didn’t join to be a rapist, murderer, and killer.”

Additionally, Bergdahl seemed to have unrealistic expectations of the Army and his role as a lower-ranking infantryman. He ultimately saw himself going into Special Forces and regretted the normal duties a PFC was assigned, such as cleaning details or guard details. When asked about wanting to become Special Forces during the interview, he replied, “Yeah, so I just needed the rank. I just needed a certain amount of time in country to get the rank and I didn’t want to waste my time in a regular unit that was just playing gate guard, which is what we were getting. When I could be somewhere else doing something else.” He wanted to prove himself as a potential Special Forces candidate during his deployment, and getting off the base to challenge his command was his chance to do just that.