Good morning, FighterSweep! It’s time for the latest and greatest tale from the righteous smackdown that ISIS is experiencing at the hands of tactical aviators. I recommend you pop some popcorn, grab a Red Bull or Monster, and snag yourself a piddle pack, because this one is going to be huge–so to speak.

Earlier in the week, Block 60 F-16E/F Desert Falcon fighters from the United Arab Emirates Air Force took part in the coordinated attacks on ISIS targets in Syria. This is badass for several reasons, not the least of which is the fact the Desert Falcon is an absolute BEAST of an airplane, so much so that many within our beloved USAF wished we were fielding them here stateside.

Also noteworthy is that Arab nations (Qatar, Saudi Arabia, Bahrain, the UAE, and Jordan) are taking part in this aerial campaign, sending the strong message that even nations founded on Islam believe ISIS is a blight on the face of Muslim culture and should be eradicated from the face of the earth. Also very badass.

A Lockheed-Martin F-16E Desert Falcon of the United Arab Emirates Air Force taxis to park following a sortie at Green Flag-West in 2011.
A Lockheed-Martin F-16F Desert Falcon of the United Arab Emirates Air Force taxis to park following a sortie at Green Flag-West in 2011.

But to take things to a mind-blowing, you-gotta-be-effing-kidding-me level, the pilot leading the flight of Emirati Vipers was, of all things, a woman.

Read that again. A woman.

Yes, ladies and gentlemen, she is Major Mariam Al Mansouri. She is a lady from a country, while progressive in its own right, sitting a part of the world where often times those of her gender aren’t allowed to show more than their eyes and hands in public, aren’t allowed to vote, and may not even be allowed to drive a car. Yet, she is doing what some would describe as unthinkable: flying the most advanced and lethal variant of the F-16 on the planet, raining down hate and judgment in support of the National Security interests of the United States of America. Boom.

Maj. Mariam Al Mansouri (Credit Emirates News Agency, WAM, via Associated Press)
Maj. Mariam Al Mansouri (Credit Emirates News Agency, WAM, via Associated Press)

Bad news for ISIS, because some claim the ideology of these barbaric thugs specifically states that if they are killed by a woman, they will spend their eternity in hell. No Paradise. No virgins.

That is…fantastic! It’s beyond my ability to describe with words just how awesome that is.

But, in this current age of lame-stream media, no good deed can go unpunished. So here’s the part where it gets ugly:

On Wednesday, Greg Gutfeld and Eric Bolling, co-hosts of The Five on the Fox New Channel, stooped to a level of douchebaggery not often seen on that particular network. The female co-host gushing about the momentous occasion couldn’t even finish her statement before one of these imbeciles snickered, then Gutfeld outright dismissed it by quipping, “But after she bombed it, she couldn’t park it.”

Yep. That…just…happened.

He just couldn’t bring himself to wait another second to get in his dig, and even looked insulted that he had to sit there and listen to his female co-host speak with pride and excitement about what an impressive accomplishment this is.

That jibe was almost immediately followed by Bolling’s comment of, “Would that be considered boobs on the ground, or no?

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I heard this and began pacing back and forth in the living room, and the things coming out of my mouth are not suitable for print or the ears of the well-mannered. I am not one quick to anger, ladies and gentlemen. I do my best to use my better judgement, and not stoop to the same level of pubescent churlishness that others display in their immature outbursts of temper.

Tonight, I failed. Big time.

Even the other male co-host was visibly appalled at his cohorts’ comments, and I was truly astonished by their ability to insult so many people on so many levels in so little time.

Congratulations, you two. You don’t have a clue as to what an embarrassment you are to the United States, let alone the United Arab Emirates and the brave men and women taking part in these strikes.

I was really, really angry. Embarrassed for America, even. These ass-hats are paid a ridiculous sum of money for their political satire and humor. We all know the game. Even bad press is good press, right? Garbage like this attracts attention and drives the oh-so-important ratings machine. But it begs this question:

Do they feel that way about the rest of the men and women in uniform who are smack dab in the fight against ISIS? Do they have even the slightest clue as to how brave that woman is? Her name and her face have been plastered all over the news–radio, television, and now the internet. I can guarantee you she has been targeted already, and yet she still flew for her country…and ours. She won’t be safe for the rest of her life. Major Mansouri is an incredibly strong and brave woman, and neither one of those clowns are fit to carry her helmet bag.

To top it off, Bolling “apologized” yesterday:

“I made a joke and when I got home, I got the look,” Bolling said, referring to his wife’s response to his sexist antics. “I said sorry to my wife and I apologize to you all and want to make that very clear.”

Make what clear, exactly? He said he was sorry because he got caught. He didn’t admit to what he did, acknowledge that it was offensive, or allude to a change in behavior or attitude. You could just about choke yourself on the narcissism. His “apology” was just as insulting as the original comment.

What a tool.

It’s not like they were hanging out in the squadron bar, enjoying a little joke amongst themselves. They’re insulting a brave woman from another country–a competent, capable, professional warrior–who put her life on the line to ensure they maintain their freedom to spout ignorance and chauvinism on a grand scale for millions to see–and all with a twinkle in their eyes and smug grins on their faces. This from the same people who had just finished chiding President Obama for saluting a Marine with a coffee cup in his hand.


You’re a disgrace. Both of you. Seriously. In your lame, inexcusable attempt to garner a few chuckles, you both reduced yourselves to a couple of punk kids talking smack in a locker room. How does making fun of her admirable feat do anything but undermine our relationships with the UAE and reduce her accomplishment to her gender?

Would either of these clowns have the balls to stand in front of “Tally” Leavitt, “Mamba” Jones, or “FIFI” Malachowski — all American female fighter pilots with combat experience — while spouting their sexist drivel?

Lieutenant Colonel Nicole "FIFI" Malachowski and Colonel Jeannie "Tally" Leavitt, both F-15E Strike Eagle pilots with extensive combat experience.
Lieutenant Colonel Nicole “FIFI” Malachowski and Colonel Jeannie “Tally” Leavitt, both F-15E Strike Eagle pilots with extensive combat experience.

How is it that we can come this far and still have to deal with such idiots in the press? And it’s not like either were exercising their right to free speech, since they’re both being handsomely compensated for their antics. But in this climate of sexual misconduct in the military seeing plenty of limelight, what would the response be if one of our male commanding generals uttered something as juvenile and repugnant as this? Can you imagine how Congress would react? He wouldn’t be able to formulate a complete thought before he was fired and metaphorically burned at the stake in the court of public opinion–as it should be.

If the Fox News Channel even remotely affiliates themselves with support for the armed forces of the United States and our fight against those who would love nothing more than to see us destroyed, they need something far more meaningful than such a weak-assed response from some some talking head who has not even the faintest notion as to what honor and respect are.

Sleep tight underneath your blanket of freedom, bought and paid for by men and women like Major Mansouri. How about we look at the quality of her character and the strength of her resolve to do the right thing instead of focusing on the fact she is a woman. For those of you men who have daughters, I bet you’d hope the same for them, too.

Oh, and One More Thing? Why do you want to insult the gal who can steer a laser-guided bomb through your bedroom window?!?

Food for thought.