Ever wondered how your performance stacks up on a global stage? Wonder no more, a British company has developed an interactive condom, the i.Con. It lights up, detects sexually transmitted diseases and sends data to your smartphone so you can see how your performance rates against the data from other people from around the world.

I am going to go out on a limb here and publicly predict that America will soon dominate global sexual performance competition. Sales of the iCon may lag in other countries as they see the numbers coming out of the USA. Women will be able to check the stats on potential suitors. Unintended consequences? Immigration will soar.

The manufacturer of this amazing device, British Condoms, claims this wearable technology measures the number of calories burned, speed of thrusts, time elapsed and positions used. I never could remember all of that stuff.

British Condoms’ Adam Leverson, says