This is the type of phone call you never want to receive…”I’ve got some bad news for you.” Oh shit, those never are the first words you want to hear out of an old SF friend’s mouth when you get a call early on a weekend morning. 

My buddy “S.” was a friend from some of my earliest days in the Special Forces. We went through training together and have been good friends for over 30 years, despite moving on to different SF groups, his going “behind the fence” for a spell and then moving on to be a team sergeant before finally retiring from the Army and going to work at a federal agency. 

We speak more frequently now, in the last few years, than in the decade or so prior, probably because as time goes on, our numbers get fewer. But in truth, we don’t speak as often as I’d like. The same BS excuses that I’ve always used…” work, family, etc,” take up so much time, that there never is the time we’d like. Well, maybe it is time for that to change. Actually “maybe” is the wrong word to use. It IS time for that to change.

When “S” called me, I assumed it was to catch up just after the New Year. We had exchanged texts during Christmas and New Years but we hadn’t spoken since just before Thanksgiving. I answered the phone in a good mood, happy to hear from him. That’s when the bombshell dropped. A very good mutual friend of ours, “B,” had committed suicide the night before. I was shocked.