James Van Cleave of Fort Bragg North Carolina got himself a brand-new gloss black GMC Jimmy truck with tinted windows. How cool was it? Tipping the scales at almost 100% gangsta, it just gosh darned-near gave James an erection. Jimmy’s Jimmy made his jimmy snap to the position of attention.

Since it was the weekend, James decided to head out for an off-road baptism of his new Jimmy truck. Blazing down the hardball road in search of a suitable subject, he made a choice on a firebreak road that just seemed to have that kind of pumpkin patch sincerity conducive to the great pumpkin.

Off-road he turned.

The inglorious victim, Jimmy

On he blazed. He zigged and zagged, ascended and descended, tacked, crabbed, drifted, brake modulated, fish-tailed, four-wheeled, forgot his worldly woes… and got stuck! Yes-um, he was good and stuck, like a stuck pig his stuck truck was outta luck –yuck!