The Utah National Guard suspects its facilities, equipment and personnel may have been involved in making a swimsuit calendar. Of all the bizarre unauthorized uses of my tax dollars, this seems one of the more reasonable.  Where were these calendar models when I was in SF? (If you answered “elementary school,” you would be correct.)

The Utah National Guard is investigating the mystery of how scantily clad foreign models could have gained access to Camp Williams, the Special Forces Equipment Pool and the M-109A6 Paladin 155mm Artillery System, as well as an Apache AH-64 helicopter stationed at Salt Lake City Airport II.

Based on my training and experience, I may have some insight into how this happened.

Fact: Parties unknown infiltrated a group of scantily clad foreign models deep into Utah through the Salt Lake International Airport.  I believe they were enthusiastically welcomed by American Customs and Border Protection Officers with a cursory inspection of their documents.  My speculation is that after infiltration, a female person (whom I suspect was a foreign model) asked a Sergeant Major if they could take pictures of scantily clad foreign models at Camp Williams posing with machine guns, a Zodiac boat and driving a howitzer.  Brilliant plan – from a few calendar photos, you would never know where the pictures were taken. Could be anywhere. Flawed execution, the crew documented their activities with a detailed “Behind the Scenes” video.