In his final address as President of the United States, Joe Biden took to the Oval Office, his voice weathered, his words ominous. It was a surreal moment—a mixture of earnest reflection and a barely contained rage at the state of the republic he would soon leave behind. If Dwight D. Eisenhower had given us the warning about the military-industrial complex, Biden might as well have been shouting into the abyss about a tech-industrial oligarchy that he feels is eating America alive.

But this wasn’t just a speech. No, this was a kind of political exorcism—one part self-congratulation, one part ghost story, and one part veiled attack on the shadowy tech overlords he believes are steering the nation into the inky abyss. As the cameras rolled, you could almost see the ghosts of presidencies past lurking in the wings, smirking as Biden unloaded one final shot across the bow.

A Warning: The New Tech Lords of America

Biden’s speech wasn’t subtle—nothing ever is at this stage of the game. He didn’t name names, but you didn’t need to be a psychic to see that he was aiming squarely at people like Elon Musk and Mark Zuckerberg. They’re not just running tech empires anymore—they’re crafting realities, shaping the flow of information, and tightening their grip on what he called the “foundations of democracy.”

“An oligarchy is taking shape,” Biden said, his voice tinged with that peculiar mix of Scranton steel and grandfatherly lament. He might as well have been holding up a flare gun, signaling to the American people, “Wake up! These tech bastards have their hands in your pockets and their algorithms in your brains.”

It was an echo of Eisenhower’s legendary warning in 1961, but this time, the generals had been swapped for billionaires with Twitter accounts. If Eisenhower feared tanks and missiles, Biden fears bots and misinformation. And maybe he’s right. Hell, maybe he’s late.

The Last Hurrah: Taking Credit for Chaos

Biden didn’t just offer warnings; he also did a little victory lap. The Israel-Hamas ceasefire? That was his doing—or so he claimed. It felt like a final attempt to burnish the resume before handing over the keys to the next man who’ll occupy that desk of so much power.

Climate change? Oh, he went there too. Biden pointed to the Inflation Reduction Act, heralding it as a turning point in the fight against planetary doom. Never mind that the planet’s still on fire, the polar bears are still drowning, and half the country thinks climate change is a Chinese hoax. This, my friends, is what victory looks like in 2025: a bloody, battered corpse of progress staggering out of the ring.

A Nation Adrift in Uncharted Waters

The most striking thing about Biden’s farewell wasn’t what he said but the way he said it. There was a certain air of resignation, a kind of reluctant admission that the America he inherited was already too far gone to save. His words dripped with melancholy, but beneath it all, there was also rage—rage at the billionaires, at the disinformation swamp, and maybe, just maybe, at himself.

Biden urged Americans to stay vigilant, to fight back against the forces of greed and chaos that have taken root. “Transparency and accountability,” he said, as though these were the magic words that could somehow fix the crumbling edifice of the American experiment he’s left us with.

Reflections in the Rearview

As the speech ended, one couldn’t help but feel a twinge of déjà vu. We’ve seen this movie before: the elder statesman stepping off the stage, warning of doom, and hoping someone else will clean up the mess. Biden might as well have been whispering to the ghosts of the Oval Office—Eisenhower, Kennedy, Carter—pleading for wisdom, for guidance, for a miracle.

But miracles don’t come cheap in Washington, and they sure as hell don’t come fast. Biden’s farewell was less a swan song and more a guttural howl into the void. It was part manifesto, part confession, and part desperate cry for help. Whether anyone heard him over the clatter of the news cycle is another question entirely. As Presidential goodbyes go, this one was not held up as a big deal.

And so, as Biden fades into the annals of history, one thing is certain: America’s story marches on, messy and beautiful and horrifying as ever. The tech-industrial complex isn’t going anywhere. Neither are the billionaires, the misinformation campaigns, or the chaos that defines this wild nation that we love so much. And still, we hold rightful hopes of a better tomorrow because that’s who we are.

The question isn’t whether Biden was right. The question is whether anyone will give a damn in the morning about what he said.