Maybe they took my advice and finally just killed them?

WASHINGTON: The military judge in the Sept. 11 case abruptly canceled two weeks of pretrial hearings at Guantánamo that were scheduled to start on Tuesday following a secret notice from a Justice Department attorney.

Army Col. James. L. Pohl, the judge, issued the cancellation order Friday evening as attorneys, court staff, reporters and legal observers were gathering in Washington, D.C., for a charter flight to the remote base for the April 5-15 hearings.

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“The whole thing is really odd to me. I thought it was an April Fools’ joke,” said Chicago defense attorney Cheryl Bormann, who was already in Washington to travel to Guantánamo this weekend to represent alleged 9/11 plot deputy Walid bin Attash.

Neither the order nor a notation of its existence was published on the military commissions website Saturday morning. Those who saw it said it was labeled AE416D. AE is short for Appellate Exhibit.

But attorneys who saw it said the judge cited a secret 3:29 p.m. filing Friday by a Justice Department investigator, U.S. Attorney Fernando Campoamor-Sánchez, AE292KKKKK. The Pentagon’s chief war court prosecutor, Army Brig. Gen. Mark Martins, appointed the Special Review Team led by Campoamor-Sánchez two years ago to keep the judge up to date on any FBI investigations of defense team activity in the national security case.

U.S. Attorney Fernando Campoamor-Sánchez

The entire case — accusing Khalid Sheik Mohammed and four alleged co-conspirators of orchestrating the Sept. 11, 2001 plot — is cloaked in secrecy because the five men spent years in clandestine CIA custody before they were brought to Guantánamo in 2006.

Very mysterious. I’m no lawyer, but my suspicions are raised immediately whenever President Obama sends out one of his hacks from his Stasi Justice Department to go have a word with a judge about an upcoming trial. What could possibly be in this elusive note? And I’m not the only one who doesn’t know what is going on. Not even the defendant’s lawyers seem to know:

It initially caused some confusion because Pohl issued the decision on April 1, causing some people to question whether it was a prank. “If it’s a joke, the judge is in on it,” a bewildered defense attorney told a triple-checking reporter on Friday evening.

Remember this story the next time you see some district attorney bragging about the American justice system, and how swift and well-greased the wheels of justice are in the United States. This entire thing is a joke. Khalid Sheik Mohammed (KSM) was captured in 2003. He’s been in Guantanamo Bay since 2006. And they can’t even get the goddamn pre-trial hearings started?

How did it get to this point? Not even a hundred years ago, this guy would have been dangling from a noose about an hour after he was captured. Can you believe that it’s been 13 years, and they can’t even start the trial of the guy who plotted the September 11th attacks? All because our idiot government decided to drop the military trial, then maybe try him in a civilian court. Then that backfired, because the city of New York told the feds they were smoking crack if they thought New York was going to provide security for this circus. So it went back to the military. Now they don’t know what to do.

This is insanity. But it’s what happens when you allow a wacky, lawyer-controlled leftist administration pollute the system. This should have taken an hour. Indeed, KSM at one point actually told the military judge back in 2008 that he was ready to plead guilty. This is ridiculous and absurd. Have the trial, take him out back, put him down like the dog he is. Then just dump him into the ocean off of Cuba or something. I swear, this fealty that we have to the never-ending legal process has got to end.

Decorated Marine vet, police officer, KIA:

Virginia State Police on Friday were trying to determine what exactly drove a gunman with a giant stash of ammunition to shoot and kill a trooper at a Greyhound bus station in Richmond, as the Joint Terrorism Task Force joined the investigation into the shooter’s past.

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The ex-con, identified as 34-year-old James Brown III of Aurora, Ill., had carried 143 additional rounds of unspent ammunition, Virginia State Police Superintendent Steven Flaherty told reporters Friday afternoon.

“He had a lot of anger about the police in the past,” Edith Brown told Richmond TV station WTVR of her nephew, who was shot and killed by state police. “He said he would never go back to prison again… he would fight it out with them.”

Brown previously had been charged with crimes ranging from cocaine possession to murder, serving prison time for domestic battery and aggravated battery of a pregnant woman. Police say he was on his way from Raleigh-Durham, N.C. to Aurora when his bus made a scheduled stop in Richmond.

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Trooper Chad Dermyer, a 37-year-old decorated Marine vet and married father of two, was one of a dozen Virginia State Police troopers taking part in a training exercise at the bus terminal when his confrontation with the gunman turned violent.

The only positive in this story is that the responding officers killed this piece of shit, so at least we’ll be spared a trial and witnesses talking about what a fine young man Brown was. The family has set up a GoFundMe that you can visit right here. Rest in peace, Officer Dermyer.

Hospital corpsman saves civilian:

The doc’s training kicked in the moment she heard her neighbor screaming.

The late-night scene on Nov. 7 seemed like combat than an Oceanside, California, apartment complex. Blood was running down the neighbor’s back. Voices were shrieking. The woman’s husband was on the run.

For a moment, Chief Hospital Corpsman Jaclyn Place wondered whether to rush in or to run away.

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“A million things were going through my head in that 15-second run to the back of the building,” Place recalled in a Marine Corps news release. “Honestly though, I was just thinking ‘corpsman,’ every training I had ever had in the military.”

Place raced in. Her neighbor Jennifer Barela had been stabbed, severing an artery in her arm. The cut looked deep. Place called for Marine Staff Sgt. Thomas McDonald, who brought a first aid kit from his nearby apartment. Place put the compression bandage from the medical bag onto Barela’s arm. By that point, it was clear that Barela’s daughter had also been attacked.

Outstanding job, Place. May I suggest moving out of Oceanside and maybe into Carlsbad or something? Carlsbad is a lot less stabby than Oceanside.

MARSOC gets ready for women:

A female staff noncommissioned officer will be the first woman to attempt MARSOC’s rigorous selection process, Marine officials confirmed.

An East Coast-based staff sergeant in the administrative community will attempt Marine Corps Forces Special Operations Command’s six-week assessment and selection course in August, said Capt. Barry Morris, a MARSOC spokesman. The Marine will be the first woman to attempt the multi-phased preparatory course since the military lifted its decades-old ban on women serving in combat roles earlier this year.

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If she makes it through both three-week phases and is selected to attempt MARSOC’s Individual Training Course, she could go on to become the first-ever female critical skills operator.

The first phase of the assessment and selection process includes a mix of classroom instruction and physical training. Marines have to prove they are fit for the fundamental skills required of Raiders by meeting tough running, swimming and hiking requirements.

An admin NCO, huh? I wonder why they felt they had to announce it. I also (cynic alert) wonder how much help she’s getting. We already know that the two young ladies who were able to graduate from Ranger School received a massive amount of help and personal training that no male candidate would have gotten. I’m assuming that is what is going on here.

I bet right now, this young lady is quietly being allowed to discontinue whatever this admin job is, and is now being trained full-time to pass this course. Like the female Ranger candidates, she is no doubt getting nutrition counseling, personal trainers, and military skill training that, again, no male candidate would ever get. I’m sure there is a whole team of ex-MARSOC guys whose only job is to make sure she knows the course backward and forward. Undoubtedly, she will get multiple opportunities to pass that a male candidate would never get. All for…I dunno, social-justice vagina or something.

Hero cops neutralize shitty father-and-son criminals…permanently:

A father and son armed with a pistol and a semiautomatic rifle were ready to open fire on other people Thursday before they were killed by two police officers, who fired 56 rounds during the late-afternoon encounter in an East Baltimore neighborhood, police said.

Police Commissioner Kevin Davis said Friday that officers on patrol watched Matthew V. Wood Jr., 43, and his son, Kimani Johnson, 18, pull up on East Lanvale Street near Green Mount Cemetery about 4 p.m., emerging from a vehicle holding weapons.

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Officials said police believed the men were poised to shoot a group of people across the street.

“If not for the Baltimore Police Department yesterday, we could have had a mass shooting on our hands, where several innocent lives could have easily been taken,” Davis said at a news conference at police headquarters.

Congratulations to the Baltimore police for undoubtedly saving a lot of lives that day. At first, I kind of felt sorry for the kid, thinking that maybe his shitbag father dragged him into doing something he didn’t want to do. But alas, Johnson was already a criminal with a long history. The irony is that, had Baltimore prosecutors followed the law, the dad would be in jail right now:

Johnson was free on $100,000 bail awaiting trial for a handgun charge, court records show. Wood was on probation after receiving a sentence of time served — about three months — in October for a gun charge.

The charge Wood pleaded guilty to should have brought a mandatory sentence of five yearsin prison without parole, but Judge Alfred Nance said prosecutors agreed to “step off” that requirement, according to a tape of Wood’s plea hearing.

Of course, this is the same DAs office that is controlled by that idiot, Stephanie Rawlings-Blake. You remember her, right? Stephanie “Give them space to destroy” Rawlings-Blake? Hell of a job they’re doing up there in Baltimore. Still, at least the cops have some balls.

Air Force officer’s wife among Brussels victims:

The third American killed in the Brussels terror attacks has been identified as the wife of a U.S. Air Force officer who is stationed in Europe.

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Texas Congressman Blake Farenthold confirmed that one of the U.S fatalities in Brussels was 41-year-old Corpus Christi native Gail Minglana Martinez, wife of Lt. Col. Kato Martinez, an Air Force officer based at the NATO office Joint Base in Brunssum, the Netherlands. He and their four children remained hospitalized from their injuries.

The family was at the Brussels airport preparing to get on a flight to the U.S. when the bombings took place, a military official said on the day of the attacks.

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It’s important to remember the faces of the victims of a terror attack. Too often, it seems like they are the ones who go unremarked upon while everyone gives all of the attention to the animals that did this. I’m guilty of it myself, such as when I ranted about the incompetence of the Belgian security forces last week.

I want to remedy that right now. Lt. Col. Martinez and his four now-motherless children continue to recover in a hospital in Europe. Martinez is in intensive care, and all four of his children were severely burned. All from a couple of savage, stone-age, primitive, beastly pieces of shit. It makes me so angry, I can barely stand it. A beautiful family, going about their day, blown to pieces because of these monsters. But who cares, right? They’re just necessary casualties in the quest to remake Europe into the new Middle East.

Get well soon, Lt. Col. Martinez.

Marines subdue berserk man on airline flight:

It’s a bad idea to have a rage-filled meltdown on an airplane full of Marines.

Staff Sgt. Timothy Bell was one of four active-duty Marines and two retired leathernecks who were called on to restrain an out-of-control passenger Tuesday on a United Airlines flight from Honolulu to Tokyo.

“We were about an hour-and-a-half into the flight and then I heard somebody screaming toward the back of the plane,” Bell told Marine Corps Times. “I could just hear somebody yelling: ‘Shut up, shut up! Don’t talk to me!’”

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Bell, who is assigned to Marine Wing Headquarters Squadron 1 in Okinawa, Japan, said he didn’t think much of it until he heard the person yell, “You’re not God.” That’s when Bell jumped up and looked toward the back of the plane to see the passenger in the middle of the aisle yelling and screaming.

He and another Marine on board came up with a plan to cuff the passenger’s wrists and legs with flex cuffs supplied by the airline.

At first, the passenger seemed to cooperate when he was shown the cuffs, Bell said.

“He said: ‘Oh bracelets, oh, OK. Bracelets. Yeah, I like bracelets. I’ll put them on.’” Bell said.

But when Bell put the cuffs on the passenger’s ankles, the man went “berserk,” Bell said.

“He said: ‘Hey, I’ll kill you! I’ll kill you! I’ll kill you!’” said Bell, who tried to calm the passenger down.

Great job, Marines. And the two retirees look like they can still handle their business. They probably would have tossed the guy out of the plane themselves, but it’s nice they had some young, active-duty guys there that could do the actual subduing while they drank coffee and discussed how much harder the Marines used to be back in their day. Outstanding work.

Let’s talk about range safety with this photograph:

A Marine female engagement team recently wrapped up a mission in Kuwait where they trained members of an elite security force tasked with protecting some of that country’s highest-profile women.

Last month, a detachment from the North Carolina-based 26th Marine Expeditionary Unit trained members of the Kuwaiti interior ministry’s VIP Protection Unit, Female Division, which is similar to the U.S. Secret Service. It’s the second time a MEU has deployed with a FET since disbanding the all-women teams four years ago in Afghanistan.

 

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The female team was able to bridge a gap in a country where cultural norms would make it inappropriate for women there to be trained by male Marines, said Capt. Jamie Ash, the FET’s officer in charge and adjutant for the 26th MEU.

“It was definitely a unique opportunity,” she said. “It really offered us the chance to build relationships that our male counterparts in the military are unable to.”

This story was about the FET teams, and all of the great work they are doing, right? Two seconds after I clicked on this story, I couldn’t stop shaking my head at this picture.

Let us assume that everything in this photograph is real. That is, the weapon is real and not a rubber duck for training purposes, etc. Honestly, I can’t really tell too much, but if this is the standard these trainers are using, color me NOT impressed.

Let’s start with the body position from the trainer. I don’t give a shit if you’re in a “friendly” country or not. There is NO FREAKING WAY I would ever be in the kneeling position, unarmed, and allow an armed foreign national to stand over me while I was training them. Why does this trainer not have a weapon on her? I know parts of the Middle East aren’t as bad as the green-on-blue attacks in Afghanistan and Iraq, but still, I don’t trust it. We’ve had service members killed by “friendly” Middle Eastern allies before, after all. Remember the two guys who got killed by that police captain in Jordan? Yeah, I remember. And I’m a cynical, black-hearted asshole who trusts NOBODY.

So there’s that. But let’s assume that the Kuwaiti being trained is all about America and is super-friendly and totally does not want to kill the infidel. WHY ON EARTH is the trainer allowing this trainee to hold her gun in the high-ready, practically underneath her own chin, while she stoops down to examine the target? I don’t care if the gun is unloaded or not (I can’t tell). That is poor muzzle discipline. I would have forced a trainee that I didn’t know to drop the mag, lock the slide to the rear, and place the weapon on the table before going downrange to check the target. If not that, then AT A MINIMUM, the weapon should be holstered. The slide is definitely forward, so there may or may not be a round in the chamber. And the trainer is going to put her head a foot away from that? Dafuck?

I am not a range safety officer, but I have been lucky enough to have received extensive handgun training from very badass motherfuckers, like SOFREP’s own George Hand. And this would be a goddamn no-go. Even around a bunch of American bearded death-dealers who I trust with my life. And I get it: Nobody likes the safety nazi, but firearms are in another league. You do not fuck around with weapons. Because everything is no big deal…until it’s a freaking big deal because you just put a bullet in some guy’s head.

As stated, a photograph does not tell the whole story. But from what I am seeing, this is goddamn unacceptable. Clean it up, Marines.

Death of SEAL father puts family in tough immigration status:

BOSTON (CBS) – Thawan Farrell, 11, and her mom look at pictures and talk about the memories of all the good times as a family.

Thawan points out her mom and dad in one photo. It was from one of their many visits to the United States. Tim Farrell was a 20-year veteran of the U.S. Navy SEALs. He settled in Thailand following his service.

“It makes me sad to hear what happened to my dad, and all these things I am going through,” said Thawan.

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Tim moved his fiancée, Bao, and 11-year-old daughter to the U.S. over the summer. He bought them a house in Derry, NH.

“Unfortunately, he didn’t tell us he was sick,” said Janice Moro, Tim’s sister.

Tim passed away the day after Christmas from liver cancer. His sister, Janice, made him a promise.

“Tim wanted his family here. I need to make it happen,” said Janice.

The couple didn’t finish the necessary legal marriage paperwork. Attorney Kari Hong, is an expert in immigration law at Boston College said without the marriage license Bao will have to go back to Thailand.

As SOFREP’s resident border hawk, even I say this is ridiculous. The feds are allowing illegal alien MS-13 gangbangers to run wild all over the country, but they may go after these two? That’s a joke. And not to speak ill of the dead, but what’s up with not getting the marriage paperwork in order? I know the guy had a lot to think about, but you’d think that the fact that his wife would have no legal way of staying in the country after he was gone would have crossed his mind.

Well, I hope it works out for them. Meanwhile, in REAL illegal alien problems….

Remember, it’s offensive to say “illegal-alien rapist,” part 1:

An illegal immigrant has been arrested and charged with raping and impregnating a 12-year-old Texas girl, authorities say.

Prosecutors charged that in 2015 an illegal immigrant, Jose Alejandro Najarro, tried to convince his 12-year-old victim to have sex with him, but she refused. Refusing to take “no” for an answer, the suspect allegedly raped her at his home in Kyle, Texas.

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Several months later, the girl was found to be pregnant and an investigation into her predicament was begun at that time. The girl told authorities she only had sex one time and that was with the suspect.

The child also said Najarro pursued her for months after their first encounter — even offering her money at one point — but she steadfastly refused to go back to his home.

Freaking disgusting. I’ve heard enough evidence. He’s guilty. Find a tree and get me a rope.

Remember, it’s offensive to say “illegal-immigrant rapist,” part 2:

Four Guatemalan men, in the United States illegally, are being charged by authorities following the rape of a Massachusetts woman and the brutal beating of her boyfriend.

The unidentified couple were walking on Claflin Street in Framingham, Ma. when they were allegedly approached by the four men, one of whom offered them a beer, while another took out a condom, according to The Metro West Daily News. The men physically detained the boyfriend and grabbed the woman.

“They began carrying her against her will,” said prosecutor Susan Harris. “She said she tried to stop them and had her feet down, but one of them picked her legs up and they carried her into an apartment.” According to officials, Ariel Diaz said to the boyfriend, ‘I’m going to carve you up and rape your girl,” before the boyfriend was able to smash Diaz with a beer bottle and escape the apartment with his girlfriend.

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Marlon Josue Jarquin-Felipe, 27, was arrested along with three brothers—Elmer Diaz, 19, Ariel Diaz, 24, Adan Diaz, 32. Federal immigration authorities have requested detainers on the four men. Detainers may be filed by a criminal justice agency asking an institution where an individual is being held or incarcerated either to hold the prisoner for the agency or to notify the agency when release of the prisoner is imminent.

You know how we’re always fed quotes from illegal-alien activists and their enablers, saying stuff like, “We need to bring them out of the shadows?” I don’t think anyone is in the shadows. These four guys were confident enough to pick up an American woman off a city street and try carrying her into an apartment while she’s screaming bloody murder. BALLSY. There are no shadows, nor hiding in aforementioned shadow.

I wonder how many illegal-alien crimes actually even make it into the news. Half the time, including when this story first broke, our disgusting media prefers to omit offenders’ legal status from the news story. So instead of the headline (rightly) being, “Four Illegal Aliens Rape American,” it reads something like, “Four Framingham Men Rape Woman Who Probably Dresses Slutty and Provoked Them.” Because the media, by and large, is overwhelmingly liberal and all for wide-open borders, they constantly omit that information. But I’m sure these four scum were totally awesome guests before this one little mistake in judgement, and totally earned the right to be left alone by ICE.

The vicious attack is not the first run-in with the law for either Ariel or Adan Diaz. In February, just weeks ago, Adan was arrested for drunk driving. Two months before, younger brother Ariel was arrested for the same.Ariel had been convicted of drunk-driving once before in 2014. The middle Diaz brother was sent back to Guatemala but re-entered the country, Immigration and Customs Enforcement (ICE) spokesman Shawn Neudauer told The Boston Herald. Jarquin-Felipe was also sent back to Guatemala in 2014, but managed to cross the border and reconvene with the Diaz brothers.

Hillary Clinton is always carrying on about how secure the border is. Someone show her this story.

Vet hailed by Trump is full of shit:

Official military records contradict several claims made by an Air Force veteran whose story of surviving the 9/11 terror attacks and battling severe combat injuries gained her access to prestigious events and captivated celebrities, most recently Republican presidential front runner Donald Trump.

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Alicia Watkins, who retired from the Air Force in 2008 for undisclosed medical reasons, has since appeared on multiple mainstream news and TV programs, including “The Oprah Winfrey Show” and the TLC reality series “Say Yes to the Dress,” to discuss her struggles after sustaining a career-ending back injury from an improvised explosive attack in Afghanistan.

However, there is nothing in the list of awards and decorations contained in Watkins’ military personnel file indicating she was ever involved in an enemy attack. A spokesman for the Air Force Personnel Center in San Antonio, Texas, Mike Dickerson, provided Air Force Times with Watkins’ decorations, awards and deployments, as noted on her DD-214 discharge form.

Numerous attempts to speak with Watkins have been unsuccessful. On Friday, after this story was initially published, Watkins reacted on her Facebook page but did not address the discrepancies between her claims and what’s included in her official records. Those remarks were subsequently removed from Facebook.

Go read the whole thing. There’s no way any of this happened. The guys over at Guardians of Valor are all over it. Watkins, you served your country. You don’t have to make up a bunch of fake bullshit. And yes, it’s bullshit. Man, these people who have no problem going on TV and spewing lies about easily checked events blow my mind. Do they not know that people check on this stuff?

Military still working on eradicating sexual assault:

WASHINGTON (Army News Service, March 31, 2016) — “It’s not easy to look into the eyes of a Soldier who may have been violated,” said Acting Secretary of the Army Patrick Murphy, speaking from an experience when he was a young officer.

Murphy spoke during an event in the Pentagon courtyard, March 31, to kick off Sexual Assault Awareness and Prevention Month, which is observed throughout April.

As a young lieutenant nearly 20 years ago, Murphy said, he had to assist a private first class who had been assaulted. He had to explain to her how the reporting process worked and what resources were available to help.

“We all know this is a cancer that we must root out by our words and our deeds,” he said about sexual assault, adding that Soldiers and Army civilians must be “leaders of character, 24-7.”

The uncomfortable fact is that, in terms of sheer numbers, male-on-male sexual assault is a far greater problem in the military. This problem of sexual assault is always portrayed in the media as a female problem. And while that in and of itself is a problem, it is also a male problem, with many victims never even reporting it. Uniformed military members found guilty of sexually assaulting a brother/sister-in-arms should be put to death.

New tattoo policy for the swabs:

Norfolk, Va. – The U.S. Navy announced a change to its existing tattoo policy on March 31.

The new policy will allow Sailors to:

  • Have one tattoo on their neck that does not exceed one inch in any direction.
  • Have visible tattoos below the elbow or knee — no longer restricting their size or amount.
  • Allow Sailors with sleeve tattoos to be assigned to Recruit Training Command and Recruiting Command positions — previously not allowed.

160331-N-PL185-001 WASHINGTON (March 31, 2016) An illustration depicting expanded U.S. Navy tattoo policies. (U.S. Navy photo By Mass Communication Specialist 2nd Class Lorenzo John Burleson/Released)

The policy regarding the content of the tattoos remains the same — Tattoos must not be racist, sexist, extremist or indecent, nor bring discredit upon the naval service. Additionally, tattoos shall not advocate discrimination based on sex, race, religion, ethnicity, or national origin.

The Navy says the policy change is being made due to the increased popularity of tattoos for those currently serving and in the population from which the Navy draws recruits. This is to ensure the Navy does not miss opportunities to bring in talented young men and women who are willing to serve.

A neck tattoo before the age of 40 says one thing to me: “I’ve given up on ever doing anything productive in my life.” But in the recruiting world, they imagine that there are vast waves of untapped, otherwise productive teenagers with neck tattoos yearning to join the Navy. I’m skeptical. But the other rules I’m good with.

Follow me on Twitter as I fix America:

God, this pisses me off. It’s a sideWALK, not a sideRIDE. Fucking square yourself away.

Base security: You’re doing it wrong:

(CNN)How does an SUV fleeing the police get inside a U.S. Navy base and take out a $60 million top-of-the-line fighter jet?

That’s the question officials at Naval Station Lemoore outside Fresno, California, are trying to figure out after a Jeep Grand Cherokee racing away from a California Highway Patrol traffic stop got 7 miles inside the Navy installation late Wednesday and crashed into the tail section of an F/A-18 Super Hornet.

Navy and California Highway Patrol officials said at a press conference Thursday that two people were in the Jeep — a male driver and female passenger. Both died and their identifications were being withheld pending notification of next of kin, officials said.

The air station’s commander, Capt. Monty Ashliman, said neither of the occupants of the Jeep had a military affiliation and it was not a targeted attack on the base.

Bit of a misleading opening sentence, I think. In reading other stories, the Jeep damaged the tail section of the plane, but it doesn’t say anywhere if the plane is completely unsalvageable.

But damn: Base security let a vehicle get SEVEN MILES into the base without stopping it? There was a huge breakdown there somewhere. That can’t happen.

If you needed a reminder, BASE jumping is dangerous:

The body of a 37-year-old retired Army master sergeant was found Thursday after he attempted to parachute from a massive TV tower in southwest Georgia.

Brandon Jackson was jumping from a 2,000-foot tower belonging to WTLH-TV in Thomas County, located more than 230 miles southwest of Atlanta. He was attempting a 1,600-foot BASE jump from the tower, according to WALB-TV in Albany.

Two other men were with Jackson at the time of the accident: Tom Baker, 26, and Miles Daisher, 46. Both were arrested and face criminal trespassing charges.

Jackson’s body was found near the tower, and his deployed parachute was found in a tree. Nearby residents assisted police and medical teams in finding Jackson’s body using their ATVs over the rugged terrain.

I have a former PJ pipeline comrade who dabbles in all of that BASE jumping and wing-suit bullshit. I think he’s insane.

They’ve learned the culture of victimhood well:

A woman who told cops she was called a terrorist and slashed on her cheek in lower Manhattan on Thursday later admitted she made up the story, police said early Friday.

The woman, who wore a headscarf, told authorities a blade-wielding wacko sliced open her face as she left a Manhattan cosmetology school, police sources said.

The 20-year-old student at the Make-up Designory on Broadway near Rector St., said she was walking toward Trinity Church at 4:10 p.m. Her attacker, she said, came up behind her by Wall St., grabbed her arm, and slashed a roughly 2-inch gash into her cheek, police said.

But police could find no video or witnesses to back up her account and she ultimately admitted her wound was self-inflicted.

All of these “hate crimes” are hoaxes until proven otherwise. The sheer number of these that are bullshit is astounding. I wonder why people do this. Here’s a public service announcement for you would-be social-justice warriors: THE COPS ARE SMARTER THAN YOU AND KNOW WHEN YOU ARE LYING. You’re welcome.

Hey, you scratched my anchor!

If you don’t know which classic movie the heading refers to, choke yourself.

Please let this talking point die:

FORT STEWART, Ga. (AP) — Despite some initial challenges, allowing female soldiers to serve in combat jobs that have long been closed to women should ultimately “make the Army stronger,” the top general at Fort Stewart said Friday.

Maj. Gen. Jim Rainey, commander of the Army’s 3rd Infantry Division, discussed the upcoming change during a question-and-answer session with reporters at the southeast Georgia Army post. Along with the rest of the Army, Fort Stewart is preparing to begin integrating women into infantry and armor units possibly before the end of the year.

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Rainey noted that the Army already has women serving in battlefield roles as aviators, combat engineers and in field artillery units. He said he expects any resistance from male troops to be short-lived.

“There are women in combat now,” Rainey said. “So this isn’t like something we’ve never done and don’t know how to do.”

I can’t STAND that. Yes, women have found themselves in combat. But stop making it seem like they’ve been trained to kick in doors and shoot dudes in the face. Look, Rainey, just because I drink two dozen Coronas and a fifth of tequila, get nude, and streak onto the field of Petco Park while the Padres are playing does not make me a freaking New York Yankee. It makes me someone who found themselves in a tough situation. Come up with a better talking point.

Naked man caught on video ding-dong (heh)-ditching on cop’s door:

Authorities have now identified a man caught ringing a doorbell, while nude, at a Birmingham apartment complex, and later spotted acting suspiciously at Red Mountain Park, though he was clothed at that point.

Brian Edward Balazik, 37, is charged with burglary, theft of property and indecent exposure, said Birmingham police spokesman Sgt. Bryan Shelton. He was booked into the Jefferson County Jail early this morning, and is being held on $39,300 bond.

On Tuesday, about 3:30 a.m., authorities said an off-duty officer was awakened by someone ringing his door bell at his apartment complex on Lakeshore Parkway. The doorbell is actually a security video recording device that records motion, allows the resident to screen guests and talk with them through the device.

Send me your naked stories @BKactual. Apologies to my man Chuck Runamok @waytoomuchgear. Any other week, the one you sent me about the druggie found asleep in the clothes dryer might merit a mention, but I can’t pass up a naked video.