**Editor’s Note: CAUTION-Spirited Content Ahead: Woke readers and other easily offended types need proceed no further. The rest of you buckle up and enjoy the ride. — GDM

Hitchhiker Hangs onto Tractor Trailer for Loser Life

Note: SOFREP does not endorse this technique for ride-hitching.

I’m not intentionally picking on Florida; Florida really just picks on itself. Far be it for me to single out any one state for humiliation, but it seems like that state has more per capita cooks and ingrates than the rest of the U.S. combined. How all those people ended up so messed up and in Florida… I mean, they weren’t that way when they all came over from France.