Your excuses are invalid:

A Long Island man who served in the Marines and lost both legs below the knees after stepping on a bomb in Afghanistan was sworn in Friday as possibly the first fully active duty double amputee police officer in the country.

Matias Ferreira, 28, graduated from the Suffolk County Police Academy in Brentwood, L.I. His first assignment as a precinct patrol officer begins next week. He told Fox 5 New York he isn’t worried if he breaks a leg on the job.

“If I break my leg I go the trunk of my car and put on a new one and I’m back on duty,” he told the station.

The 2011 blast in Afghanistan shattered his legs, forcing doctors to amputate. The machine-gunner spent nearly a year recovering in a hospital outside Washington.

Ferreira stands on titanium prosthetics, Newsday reported. He dreamed of being a cop as a kid.

Ferreira completed 29-weeks of training at the academy, passing the same rigorous challenges as other recruits.

Follow me on Twitter… You’re going to want to hear about the hotdog bun:

RIP Gunny Sullivan:

AGAWAM, Mass. (WWLP) – A true American hero and one of Springfield’s own is being honored with the highest noncombat medal by the United States Department of the Navy.

Gunnery Sergeant Thomas Sullivan, who was raised in Springfield, was killed in an ISIS-inspired terror attack in Chattanooga, Tennessee in 2015. He was killed while trying to save the lives of fellow Marines.

His tight-knit Irish family remembers Tommy, who would have turned 42 the day after St. Patrick’s Day. His father, Jerry Sullivan, spoke to 22News about the painful loss, “Difficult day. We went to the cemetery and things, it was hard. Then a sense of pride comes in when we know this medal is coming in May. It takes over a little bit of the grief.”

(Republican Photo Desk)

Gunnery Sergeant Sullivan and Staff Sergeant David Wyatt will be awarded the Navy and Marine Corps Medal, the United States Department of the Navy’s highest non-combat medal for heroism.

…Gunnery Sgt. Thomas Sullivan, an Iraq War veteran and Purple Heart recipient, died when Mohammad Youssef Abdulazeez, 24, went on a rampage at two military facilities in Chattanooga, Tenn., family confirmed.

If you’re going to wear the uniform, you better know the answer, Eli:

I definitely want to read his manifesto:

WASHINGTON — A man who drove to a security checkpoint near the White House in a stolen car and was arrested after stating “there’s a bomb in the trunk,” later told authorities that the object in the trunk was an asteroid and that he communicates telepathically with the president.

According to a court document filed Monday, 29-year-old Sean Patrick Keoughan of Roanoke, Virginia, approached the checkpoint at 10 p.m. Saturday and said he had a meeting with President Donald Trump. Officers found no record for a meeting and Keoughan left. He approached again at 11 p.m. and made the statement about the bomb. He also said “this is a test,” according to the document…

…Asked by Secret Service agents whether there was a bomb in the car Keoughan stated “that he had a very large, heavy bag in the trunk of his car with an asteroid in it,” according to the court document. He also told Secret Service agents that the president had given him the car he was driving as well as the bag with the asteroid and told him to say there was a bomb in the trunk, the court document says. The document says Keoughan said Trump speaks to him telepathically. He also told agents that he has received psychiatric care in the past and used “every drug.” He called himself a “peaceful hippie” who does not own weapons or have access to them, the court document said.

Military officials on Monday released information that Keoughan served in the Navy for six years, leaving in 2014 as an aviation electronics technician. Ensign Marc Rockwellpate, a spokesman for the U.S. Navy Office of Information, said he could not release details of Keoughan’s discharge because it is private information.

A long overdue award:

MURRIETA, Calif. — An Army veteran was awarded the Bronze Star this week for his heroism in a Vietnam War battle that left more than 50 fellow U.S. soldiers dead and close to 200 injured.

Retired Sgt. Joseph Engles was presented with the military distinction on Monday during a ceremony in his hometown of Murrieta, in Southern California, for gallantry in the face of the enemy during the Battle of Suoi Tre in March 1967.

(Capt. Will Martin/California Army National Guard via AP) (The Associated Press)

Engles was seriously wounded during the battle, but he continued to man his gun and return fire, Burns said in a statement.

“As the battle commenced with intense rocket and grenade and sniper fire, he (Engles) manned the gun and commanded his team to return fire,” the statement said. “When a rocket landed close, without regard for his personal safety he neutralized the enemy ordnance and continued the mission.”

After battlefield medics removed shrapnel from Engles’ arm, he immediately returned to his gun to continue fighting, Burns said.

Insane Robot eels will kill us all:

Avoid carrying/handling bags full of cocaine:

A Chicago lawyer is fighting the recent deportation order of decorated U.S. Army veteran Miguel Perez Jr. to his native Mexico, according to the Chicago Tribune.

Attorney Chris Bergin filed an appeal to halt the deportation on behalf of Perez, who holds a green card. Perez learned about the order by calling a Department of Justice hotline that provides case updates to defendants and their lawyers.

Perez, who served time in an Illinois state prison for a felony drug charge after two tours in Afghanistan, requested protection from deportation under the United Nations Convention Against Torture…

…Drug cartels target former U.S. combat veterans to work on their behalf with threats of violence, according to human rights groups and advocates for deported veterans.

The VA hospital in Maywood, Illinois, diagnosed Perez with post-traumatic stress disorder after his combat experiences. While waiting to be tested for a traumatic brain injury, Perez connected with an old friend who provided him with drugs and alcohol.

On Nov. 26, 2008, Perez, with his friend, handed a laptop case full of cocaine to an undercover police officer. He pleaded guilty to delivering the cocaine, serving half of a 15-year sentence.

Pararescueman’s Robert’s Ridge award to be upgraded to AF Cross:

MOODY AIR FORCE BASE — It was his first official mission as a pararescueman. The blades of the helicopter were spinning as the freezing air of the snowy mountains blew around him. With adrenaline pumping through him, the only thing he could hear were his anxious thoughts of fear and excitement.

What he had believed would be a rewarding experience was quickly turning into a nightmare.

BOOM!

The helicopter was struck by a rocket-propelled grenade and the pilots were losing control, forcing an emergency landing at an altitude over 11,000 feet in several feet of snow. He could see glimpses of daylight as bullets were fired into the side of the helicopter. The team unclipped from their seats, forced to exit the aircraft with nothing but instinct to guide them.

Within the first six minutes, 14 of the 21 on board were severely wounded or dead…

Kerry Miller served as the Air Force combat search and rescue team leader during the mission. The team’s task was to recover Navy Seal Neil Roberts.

In recognition of his valor and brave actions during the Battle of Roberts Ridge, Miller was awarded a Silver Star medal, Nov. 1, 2003. After a review of medals, Miller’s silver star is now being upgraded to an Air Force Cross, the service’s highest combat medal for valor. He is slated to receive the Air Force Cross April 20 at Hurlburt Field, Fla.

Again, pervs: REAL 14-year-old girls don’t want to have sex with you:

Polk County deputies say a U.S. Air Force captain stationed in Cape Canaveral was one of 104 people arrested recently during an undercover prostitution sting.

Deputies said Capt. Dirk Watson, 32, of Merritt Island, traveled to an undisclosed location in Polk County to meet with who he thought was a 14-year-old girl. It turned out to be an undercover detective.

Watson is facing charges of using a computer to seduce a child, traveling to meet a minor and lewd molestation, according to the Sheriff’s Office. He told deputies he coaches his son’s little league baseball team, and that he was supposed to meet his family at Disney World on Sunday — the day after his arrest.

Two other men with ties to the military were arrested during the sting: Kevin Robinson, 42, of Springfield, Va., told deputies he is reserve lieutenant commander in the U.S. Navy; and John Hamilton, 51, of Melbourne, said he is retired from the Air Force as a major, according to the Sheriff’s Office.

Both men are accused of responding to a fake ad placed online by an undercover detective.

The #MAGA marches in California went pretty much as expected:

Remember Afghanistan? Things continue to go swimmingly there: 

KANDAHAR, Afghanistan — The Taliban captured the strategic district of Sangin in the southern province of Helmand on Thursday, according to local officials. It was the culmination of a yearlong offensive that took the lives of more combatants than any other fight for territory in Afghanistan.

While spokesmen for the central government denied claims by the Taliban that the district had fallen to them, some conceded that the insurgents had overrun the district center and government facilities. But local Afghan government and military officials said there was no doubt Sangin had finally fallen to their enemy.

A spokesman for the American military, Capt. William K. Salvin, played down the development, saying Afghan security forces were still in the district and had merely moved its seat of government. “They repositioned the district center,” he said. “This move to a new district center has been planned for some time.”

More British troops and, later, American Marines died in Sangin than in any of Afghanistan’s roughly 400 other districts, until the international military coalition began turning it over to Afghan military forces in 2013. Since then, hundreds of Afghan soldiers and police officers have lost their lives defending Sangin, while American Special Operations soldiers and aerial bombing tried to prevent the collapse of the district, apparently without success.

After watching the video a dozen or so times, she demanded an upgrade:

A GRAN turned on a mobile given to her by EE and found a video of a naked man with a massive willy.

Kay Clash, 73, was given the replacement LG model while the phone giant fixed her broken Samsung.

But the grandmother of five said she almost passed out when she saw the porn video.

Divorced Kay, of Great Barr, Birmingham, said: “Suddenly it cuts to a well-endowed chap in a shower.”

“At first all you see is his nose. But then the camera drops down to his privates to something sticking out a lot more.”

“Frankly, I have never seen anything like it. It made my eyes pop out.

“I almost fainted. It was a terrible shock. I’ve shown some of my friends and they can’t believe it either.”

@BKactual

Featured image courtesy of AP