Dammit, Someone Needs to Let Me Know These Things Are Happening:

Marines and veterans are trekking more than 13 miles along a California boardwalk to raise awareness about suicide prevention—and they’ll be wearing very little in the process.

Medically retired Marine Capt. Donny O’Malley is combining some of the things Marines love most in his effort to bring awareness to a serious issue: humor and very short shorts known as silkies.

Genius. If there’s one thing that unites every veteran, it’s the love of shockingly small, tight shorts that leave pretty much nothing to the imagination. Like, you can see the veins, if you know what I’m saying. Remember the old saying: Once you’ve found a pair of silkies that fit comfortably, go one size down.

We love our silkies. We love wearing them while doing deep squats in the gym—deep to the point of making everyone just a little uncomfortable. We love wearing them in situations that polite society would dictate require more formal wear, like graduations, retirements, and weddings.

So, if you are ever holding any kind of military fundraiser, just add that the uniform of the day will be silkies and boots, and you’ll need extra help just to keep up with the massive response you’ll get. I’m just pissed that I missed this one, held in my hometown of San Diego.

Since I torture the ladies here at SOFREP with my insatiable love for mugshots of homeless men on flakka and bath salts, here’s a little beefcake for a change:

It doesn’t get more ‘Murica than this.

The former infantry officer-turned-comedian is leading participants on a 22-kilometer road march on Saturday while they each carry 22 kilograms—nearly 50 pounds—of gear. The number of kilometers they’ll walk and the weight that they’ll carry represents the 22 service members who die from suicide each day.