An article filled with half-truths, exaggerations, and absurdity:

Hundreds of young women on track to join ground-level Army units over the next year would lose their positions if the Trump administration reimposes a ban on women serving in front-line combat.

I had no idea what I was going to write about this week. Until, that is, I came across this ridiculous story practically screaming out for some challenging. I’m not blaming the writer, Adam Ashton, for all of it, exactly. He’s only writing down what the activists tell him. But let’s go ahead and dissect this abortion. First, here’s your trigger warning: This is all my own opinion, so direct all hate mail/shit talking to @BKactual. Now let’s get into it.

I couldn’t even make it past that first sentence up there. “Hundreds of young women?” Where did they come up with that number? Your average reader may suppose that this is meant to appear that there are hundreds of fully qualified women in combat units, having been fully vetted, trained, and graduated from whatever combat arms school they have attended. But that is hardly the case. The only way this writer could have possibly even come up with that number is to count females who have expressed even the mildest interest in joining one of these units, hence the hedge, “ON TRACK.” What does that mean? More specificity, please.

Those numbers are among the reasons that outgoing Secretary of the Army Eric Fanning believes Trump would have trouble undoing Obama-era orders enabling women to serve in military positions that had long been barred to them.

That would be Social Justice Warrior Eric Fanning, whose main qualification for his current position is that he was the hack political aide who stuck around long enough to eventually float his way to the top of the bureaucrat toilet bowl. His other qualification, highly sought-after in the militantly PC Obama administration, is that he enjoys the sexual company of men. Obama, desperate to add to his wanton destruction of the U.S. military, reached out to a man who had never once served in the military in any capacity, or served in the intelligence community in any capacity, or served in the foreign diplomatic service in any capacity, or served in the cyber-security community in any capacity, and thought, “What I really need is a gay guy! THAT WILL SHOW ‘EM.” So thanks for that.

“It’s hard to roll these things back,” he said in an interview with The Sacramento Bee on his way to a defense conference in Los Angeles this week. “A lot of work has been put in place, and you already have service members serving.”

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Eric Fanning (Alex Wong, Getty Images)

This is what I really hate about the federal government, and why I scream so loudly about proposed legislative and policy changes. Fanning is right about that one. That’s why they fight so hard to get this shit put into place. Bad policy is like herpes: Once you’ve got it in place, it’s impossible to get rid of. Think about the frantic speed the Obama administration reached in implementing this policy. It didn’t even exist like two years ago, and now, the bureaucrats act like repealing it is like some impossible act, like landing on the sun, or getting Eric Fanning to impregnate a woman. Calm down, I’m just making a point.

The Marine Corps last year sought a waiver from the order that opened all military assignments to women, citing its own study that mixed-gender units are less effective than all-male teams. It did not receive the exemption and must comply with Carter’s order.

You remember that, right? We here at the News Roundup covered that study quite extensively. No big deal; the USMC only spent millions of dollars and nine months to conduct a comprehensive study of integrating female Marines into front-line combat units. The study was incredibly detailed, covering everything from measuring physiological reactions via heart monitoring and other biometrics, to lasers mounted on weapons measuring the accuracy of fire. Defense Secretary Ash Carter and Navy Secretary Ray Mabus flipped through the exhaustive, unprecedented, and expensive study until approximately page .25, and then threw it in the trash can, took a shit on it, and set it on fire. It was never about actual “results,” after all. This was about carrying out Barack Obama’s orders.

“There is a great difference between military service in dangerous circumstances and serving in a combat unit whose role is to search out and kill the enemy at close quarters,” Mattis said at a Senate Armed Services Committee hearing last year.

Exactly right, and your humble author couldn’t have stated it any more concisely. The standard progressive defense of the “females in combat” goal is, “Hey, we already HAVE females in combat!” Yes, females have found themselves in combat. That does not mean that they are in a combat arms position, for Christ’s sake. Just because I accidentally drunkenly stumbled onto the Staples Center court during a game doesn’t mean I’m a Los Angeles Laker. I have heard MANY first-person stories about females in combat, and 99 percent of them aren’t just bad, they are horrible. As a matter of fact, my two devil dog USMC brothers and I just had a discussion on this on Friday night’s podcast, with my man Creeper telling us his story about his female engagement team members in Afghanistan. (Hint: it didn’t go well.)

And those were the most highly motivated women that the Corps had available, and they were still a liability. They just don’t bring anything new to the table. Congressman Duncan Hunter stated it perfectly:

“It doesn’t do anything to make us more effective or efficient at getting the job done and killing our enemies and protecting our allies. It’s just a distraction,” Hunter, an early Trump supporter and former Marine, told the Washington Times after Trump’s election.

Correct. As you’ve heard me say multiple times, there is not a single logical reason FOR this, when there are many, many reasons against. In what way would a female make, say, a Ranger platoon “better?” At the very best, a female would be equally as competent as a man. And that is with one that is a physical freak of nature, one in a hundred thousand or more. At worst, and far more likely, she would be a liability who cannot pull her own weight. Seriously: Ask the backers of female infantrymen/special operators to come up with one single heretofore unpossessed new thing that females would add to a combat unit’s stated mission of advancing on, closing with, and destroying enemy combatants. They can’t answer you. Instead, they will gauzily mumble something about “fairness.”

That is the sole argument in favor of all of this: It’s done out of a sense of “fairness.” But that, too, sounds absurd when you compare it to other gender-segregated institutions. It’s not FAIR that a woman doesn’t get to play quarterback for the Dallas Cowboys, you see. It’s not fair that a woman doesn’t get a UFC title shot against Connor McGregor. Shit, they’ve even tried this in GOLF with disastrous results. And those are all bullshit sports games! But when it comes to the deadly serious business of warfare, an affair that deals in death and carnage, somehow the backers imagine a different outcome.

But on the ground, Fanning senses a different reaction among troops when he asks them whether they are ready to serve in mixed-gender combat units.

“When I go out into the field and ask these questions, I get looked out like I’m crazy for asking because it shouldn’t be a big deal,” he said.

Let me help you out here, Fanning. The front-line E-4s that have been cleaned up long enough for you to go talk to them? They aren’t really in the habit of telling the goddamn secretary of the ARMY how fucked up his and the president’s policy is. Jesus.

Elsewhere, about 40 female lieutenants are expected to join infantry and armor units as platoon leaders in the coming year.

There’s that hedge again. “Are expected to.”

“Those who have met these women want to fight with these women, because they are forces of nature,” Fanning said.

That’s a total lie. Oh, I’m sure some bootlicking officers have told him that. Seriously doubt that any of the actual pipe-hitters have told him that. Seriously, which is more likely? Fanning just made that up, or combat vets ACTUALLY said that to him. I’m guessing the former. Yeah, I’m sure the E-7 at 10th Mountain with six combat deployments CAN’T WAIT for his new boot female 2nd lieutenant to show up. Get the hell out of here.

An additional 178 new female recruits are due to attend basic training in the coming year for infantry and armor positions they could not have tried for in the past.

Ahhhh. So that’s how they came up with the number. They counted female recruits who haven’t even gotten through basic training yet, much less AIT, or any other school. Let’s count how many are left after the year. Oh, who am I kidding? Nobody will do that.

As I’m writing this, overseas in a combat zone, my man and former Marine infantryman Anvil just sat down next to me. Just out of curiosity, I asked him what kind of shape he was in during his combat deployment to Iraq as a 21-year-old youngster. At the time, Anvil deadlifted about 365, squatted about 375, benched 315, ran the three-mile USMC PFT in 17:45, and did 20 pull-ups. And he wasn’t even the stud of his platoon. To top it off, dude has gotten even more jacked as he’s gotten older, now deadlifting around 500 friggin’ pounds. Please show me the legions of females who can come anywhere close to doing any of that shit. But those 110-pound females with bones made of chicken wire and paper mache are going to drag a 200-pound guy with 75 pounds of gear out of firefight. (Anvil, too, had a story about taking out a female engagement team in Afghanistan. The unit did it one time, and never did it again. That’s how bad it was.)

Like I said on the podcast, on paper, I wasn’t really opposed to this. However, human nature being what it is, everyone knows that standards will be lowered to accommodate these women, and those who can’t hack it, instead of being drummed out, will forever remain in place. We’ve already seen it happen with the female graduates of Ranger School getting unheard-of training and assistance for the sole reason of passing that course. SOFREP has exhaustively proven how standards will be lowered for female recruits attempting to enter the combat arms. If we had a shitload of female Anvils running around, I wouldn’t be as opposed. But we don’t. Hey, respect to the females who have completed training in Ranger School and others. Even if they were given special treatment, it’s still a great accomplishment for them. That doesn’t mean they should be assigned to a combat unit to lead men into battle.

Far less discussed, but equally important, are all the sociological problems that will undoubtedly come into the team rooms, as jealousies and romantic liaisons inevitably occur amidst young people filled to the brim with testosterone and estrogen. That’s all you need in a tight-knit group whose everyday training can lead to death or serious injury: a love triangle. So some guy sleeps with the hot new SEAL chick, they break up, then she starts sleeping with another one, and now the two guys hate each other. And you don’t think that will have an effect in combat? One of man’s oldest instincts is to protect the women, even if it is tactically unsound. Oh, and how about the home front? I wonder how the military wives are going to feel about this as they sit home fat and pregnant while their husbands go off to train in the desert with the hot new infantry ladies. I’m sure they’ll be fine with it. But fuck their feelings, right?

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(USMC)

But the best part of this rambling nonsense is the very end of this article:

Sue Fulton, a former Army captain and member of the first West Point class that admitted women, said Trump should focus on defeating the Islamic State rather than re-erecting barriers to service. She is a former president of SPARTA, an organization that advocates for transgender troops.

“It would be disruptive to the force,” she said. “It would cause problems to the commanders in the field who are moving forward” if Trump reinstates a ban on women in combat or takes action against transgender military service members.

“My belief is that military leadership will focus on the difficult national security issues facing us,” she said. “Trump himself has repeatedly talked about defeating ISIS and our enemies around the world, and I can’t imagine that a leader wouldn’t make that his or her priority.”

Hahahahaha. That’s a hilarious argument. See, it’s just too DISRUPTIVE to get rid of all of this bullshit now; we have to defeat ISIS, you guys! Now, it wasn’t disruptive to conduct nine-month studies on females in combat while having to defeat ISIS. It wasn’t disruptive spending tens of millions of dollars and countless man hours devoted to special instruction to get females to pass courses while having having to defeat ISIS. And it DEFINITELY wasn’t disruptive to have commanders in the field have to be instructed on transgenders, force the entire military to report for transgender sensitivity training, or tell military hospitals they will now be responsible for spending millions on hormone therapy and sex changes for military members while having to defeat ISIS.

NONE OF THAT WAS DISRUPTIVE.

But getting rid of it? THAT is what is going to be disruptive. Do these people hear themselves? Am I the only one who is gauche enough to point out how absurd this is? Does anyone ever challenge these people, or are we so completely cowed by now that we don’t want to rock the boat, and not admit even basic, obvious truths about fundamental differences of strength, endurance, and stamina between men and women? Shit, even veterans who I have a lot of personal respect for are reluctant to say that they are against this in a public forum. That’s how strong the fear is of being seen as “unreasonable”.

My gut feeling is that the new administration won’t change this. They probably don’t think it’s a hill worth dying on when they have so many other priorities. And Allah knows that nobody gives a shit what an old former air commando thinks, even one with great hair and 18-inch pythons (more or less). So go ahead and do it. But if you’re going to go through with this, let’s freaking do it right and see what the ladies can do. The men have been fighting in Afghanistan for 16 freaking years; let’s mix it up. Let us quickly assemble a female infantry platoon, have them take over a forward operating base somewhere in the Korengal Valley, and see what happens. I’m sure it will be fine. And if it doesn’t work out so great? Who cares, right? At least the social justice warriors got their “progress.” They’ll have moved on to another institution to ruin by then.

Follow me on Twitter for pithy socio-economic observations:

I can’t even believe people still carry on about this. If I see one more story about the single mom with three kids who is trying to raise a family by working at Burger King, I’m going to scream. Pro tip, kids: If you have a child and have no education or skills, you know what the first thing you should do is? STOP HAVING KIDS, DUMBASS. And I’m allowed to say that, because I found out I was going to be a father when I was a wee lad of 20 years old. I stopped impregnating my girlfriend after that. First rule of holes, you see.

And why is 15 the magic number? Why not just make it 20 or 40 dollars an hour? Either the laws of economics apply, or don’t, right?

Hell nah, player:

The Las Vegas Golden Knights will be the NHL’s 31st team. It’s also been the name of a U.S. Army parachute team based in Fort Bragg since the 1960s, according to the Fayetteville Observer.

The moniker caught the attention of Army officials after it was announced earlier in November, Alison Bettencourt, a spokeswoman for the Army Marketing and Research Group in Arlington, Va., first told the Observer. She added that the Army is “reviewing the situation and figuring out what the way ahead would be.”

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(Airshow Stuff)

The NHL team’s owner, billionaire businessman Bill Foley, originally wanted to call the franchise the Black Knights, according to the Observer. But due to “a number of factors” and a “concern from Army officials,” that name was not chosen. Foley, who is a graduate from the renowned military academy West Point, was aware that the parachute team uses the same name, notes the Observer.

“We understand that one of the Las Vegas team owners has Army connections, and will likely understand our interest in this announcement is meant to protect the proud history of the Army’s Golden Knights and their vital role in telling the Army story and connecting America with their Army,” Bettencourt said.

So they didn’t name it the “Black Knights” out of concern for “a number of factors,” but the Golden Knights” is fine? Fuck you, man. Now, the Fifth Cavalry Regiment of the United States Army, around since 1855, is known as “the Black Knights,” so I assume that’s what the Army was concerned about. But why no problem with the Golden Knights? That’s been around for over 50 years, with a long and storied history. Call your dumb team something else, preferably something Vegas-y. The “Las Vegas Bail Bondsmen” or something like that.

Trust me, your kitchen knives are dull:

Bowe freaking Bergdahl wants a pardon:

A U.S. Army sergeant and former prisoner of war accused of endangering fellow troops by abandoning his post in Afghanistan has asked President Barack Obama to pardon him before leaving office next month.

If granted, the clemency request by lawyers for Sergeant Bowe Bergdahl, first reported Friday by The New York Times, would avert a court-martial set for April in which military prosecutors are set to present evidence of desertion and misbehavior before the enemy.

Bergdahl was stationed in the Afghan province of Paktia when he left his post without permission in 2009. He was subsequently captured by allies of the Taliban and held captive for five years.

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(file photo)

The Obama administration secured his release in a prisoner swap that touched off a firestorm of criticism from Republicans in Congress. Some lawmakers accused the administration of aiding a deserter and complained that Congress did not receive a required 30-day warning about the transfer of foreign prisoners in U.S. custody who were freed in exchange for Bergdahl’s release.

Even Obama can’t possibly hate the military enough to pardon a deserter, right?

This is hard to believe:

A decorated Marine colonel assigned to Camp Lejeune, North Carolina, has been removed from his post and charged with the alleged sexual abuse of a child, Military.com has learned.

Col. Daniel Wilson, 55, of Mason, Washington, the G-3 operations officer for II Marine Expeditionary Force, was charged Nov. 15 after a II MEF and Naval Criminal Investigative Service investigation, a spokesman for II MEF, Lt. Col. Michael Armistead, told Military.com. The NCIS investigation into the alleged crimes is ongoing, he said.

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(USMC)

The charges Wilson faces include three counts of sexual assault and sexual abuse of a child; four counts of assault and battery on a child under age 16; one count of failure to obey an order or regulation; and nine counts of conduct unbecoming an officer.

A source with knowledge of the investigation said the alleged victim was six years old.

Holy crap. I hope for the sake of my own sanity that this is false, but I seriously doubt NCIS would have charged a full-bird colonel without some pretty solid evidence. Six years old…if he’s found guilty, he should be executed.

These dolphins surf the wake of a Navy sub, and it’s awesome:

Did you really think you’d get away with this, sir?

A US Air Force officer is accused of pocketing more than $59,000 by peddling stolen high-grade military gear on eBay, Brooklyn feds charge in a new complaint.

Zachary Sizemore was entrusted with safeguarding more than $2.9 million worth of equipment, including weapons, ammunition, night-vision goggles and thermal imagers, at the Wright Patterson Air Force Base near Dayton, Ohio, according to a newly unsealed complaint.

But Sizemore, who worked as an armorer with the 88th Security Forces Squadron, allegedly turned the stash of arms into cold, hard cash for himself.

In May, he sold state-of-the-art Harris Corp. Army/Navy PVS-7D night-vision goggles for $1,713.45 on eBay, the complaint says.

He also made $3,450 by hawking an L-3 Communications Corp. mini-thermal monocular that same month.

When the feds caught wind of Sizemore’s illegal activity, they planted an undercover agent in Queens to buy a similar mini-thermal monocular from Sizemore in October for $4,055, papers say.

I suppose he’ll bleed out eventually:

A wounded man who was wearing only a towel was being taken to a hospital Wednesday morning and reportedly jumped up from the stretcher while the ambulance was stopped and ran away.

The Bibb County Sheriff’s Office is asking for the public’s help with finding 54-year-old Keith Lynn Jones, who was last seen running in the area of Houston and Hartley Bridge roads about 9 a.m., according to a news release.

“Subject is butt-naked,” a deputy said on the police scanner before 11 a.m.

missing
(Bibb County Sheriff’s office)

Deputies were called to the 3200 block of Hartley Bridge Road after someone spotted a man walking around, wearing only a towel. Deputies found Jones, who had apparently cut himself while breaking a window at his home, and called paramedics, the release said.

Georgia State Patrol helicopters helped search for Jones, but it is possible he may be suffering from a mental illness and could be hiding, the release said.

Leave my man alone. Is it a crime to walk around in only a towel now? (Laughs nervously.)

@BKactual