I bet they’ll eat crap all Christmas break, too:

The U.S. Navy this week announced it will scale back its physical fitness requirements, thus giving a clean slate to nearly 50,000 sailors with fitness failures on their records.

Under new rules set to take effect March 31, Navy commands have been instructed to “stop discharging sailors for fitness failures and to cancel any pending discharges,” the Navy Times reported.

Previously, sailors were forced to leave the Navy if they failed two fitness assessment tests in a three-year period. The tests graded sailors based on their age, number of push-ups, sit-ups and percentage of body fat. Sailors who failed the fitness test were deemed ineligible for advancement.

The Navy kicked out some 1,700 sailors for failing two fitness tests within a three-year period, the Navy Times reported, citing officials. By summer 2017, more than 43,000 sailors had at least one failure within the previous three years while another 5,477 had at least two failures.

The new lax regulations are part of the Navy’s broader effort increase its headcount by more than 4,100 by next September. Sailors who have previously failed their fitness tests will be allowed to stay in the Navy until the end of their enlistment.”

Follow me on Twitter for all of your honky ISIS updates:

Our ridiculous chain migration policy strikes again:

(CNN)The Department of Homeland Security is calling a series of shootings targeting law enforcement in Pennsylvania a “terror attack.”

Authorities said Ahmed Aminamin El-Mofty, 51, was shot and killed by police Friday in Harrisburg, Pennsylvania, after he fired several times at law enforcement officers throughout the city.

The string of shootings began just steps from the state’s Capitol building when El-Mofty fired several times at a Capitol Police officer and then, shot and injured at a state trooper. Later, he used two handguns to open fire at several officers who then returned fire and killed him, according to a statement from the Dauphin County district attorney’s office.

Dauphin County District Attorney Ed Marsico said there was “no doubt that he was directly targeting police officers,” CNN affiliate WGAL reported.

Tyler Houlton, acting DHS press secretary, referred to the incident as a terror attack in a statement released Saturday. He said the incident highlights the “Trump administration’s concerns with extended family chain migration.”

El-Mofty was a naturalized US citizen who came to the country on a “family-based immigrant visa,” Houlton said.

“Both chain migration and the diversity visa lottery program have been exploited by terrorists to attack our country,” Houlton said, adding that “the programs make it more difficult to keep dangerous people out of the United States and to protect the safety of every American.”

Santa is going to be late this year: 

Someone shows some sanity in England:

Plans to ditch the Army’s Be the Best slogan and its crest logo have been halted by the defence secretary.

The Mail on Sunday said the Army was considering changing the slogan after market research said it was considered “dated, elitist and non-inclusive”.

The Ministry of Defence said the Army-commissioned rebrand had cost £520,000.

But a spokesman told BBC News that Gavin Williamson believed the Army was “the best of the best” and that the rebrand proposals had been put on hold.

According to the newspaper, a leaked document from the department – written by the Army’s most senior officer, General Sir Nick Carter – said market research carried out by the MoD showed the slogan “did not resonate with many of our key audiences”.

As a result, the Army’s executive committee agreed “its use should be phased out as soon as affordably possible”, with plans for the “retirement of Be the Best [to] commence immediately”.

The research also found the Army’s crest – depicting crossed swords, a crown and a lion – to be “non-inclusive” and recommended replacing both with a union jack with the word ARMY in bold underneath…

…Colonel Richard Kemp, the former commander of UK troops in Afghanistan, added that it was “lunacy to squander money on a futile branding project” when there was already pressure on the defence budget.”

My man has done the math:

I’m wary of rape charges being brought decades after the alleged incidents:

A military court is grappling with the complications of trying a retired Army general on multiple rape charges decades after the alleged assaults were said to have occurred.

Retired Maj. Gen. James J. Grazioplene appeared Tuesday at Fort Belvoir, Va., for his first hearing following an Army general’s decision last month to send the case to a court-martial. Grazioplene, 68, is accused of repeatedly raping a young girl between 1983 and 1989.

The allegations have put the Army in highly unusual territory. The pending trial will mark one of only a few cases since World War II in which a general officer has been prosecuted in open court.

Grazioplene was a major serving at Fort Leavenworth in Kansas when the alleged rapes began, according to court documents. He has not entered a plea.

Among the issues the Army faces is how to apply the statute of limitations on the alleged crimes and how to address a lack of documentation. The accusations first came to the Army’s attention in 2015, after the alleged victim, now 46, reported them and sat for an interview with investigators.

Army Col. Daniel Brookhart, a military judge, heard arguments Tuesday about whether all six counts of rape brought by the Army should be considered given the time that has elapsed.

Congress imposed a new statute of limitations on rape charges in the military in November 1986, saying that any offense punishable by death — including rape — “may be tried and punished at any time without limitation.” The allegations against Grazioplene straddle the passage of that legislation.”

Trump is making everyone be a savage on Twitter now and I’m here for it:

How can you do this whole story and not say explicitly why he was deported?: 

For the first time a US military veteran who had been deported for criminal acts after leaving the service returned, legally, to the United States.

After 15 years living in Tijuana, Mexico, since being deported honorably discharged from the US Marines, 45-year-old Marco Chavez returned to the US Thursday morning.

The landmark moment follows an NBC Bay Area investigation last February that showed hundreds of similar honorably discharged US Veterans have been deported over the last two decades after they commit various crimes after leaving the service.

NBC Bay Area’s Investigative Unit traveled to Mexico where the team documented at least 301 honorably discharged military veterans now deported under a policy put in place during Bill Clinton’s administration and allowed to remain during subsequent presidencies.

The policy allows immigration officials to deport non-citizens after they are convicted and serve time for any felony classified as “aggravated.” While that classification includes serious crimes such a murder and aggravated assault, NBC Bay Area’s investigation discovered that under US Immigration policy the term “aggravated felony” also includes what otherwise might be considered less serious crimes such as drug possession, failure to show up in court, entering the country illegally and animal cruelty…

…NBC Bay Area’s investigation found 70,000 non-citizens enlisted in the United States military between 2009 and 2016. At least half of them never applied for citizenship, according to the center for naval analyses, leaving them vulnerable to deportation under the policy…

…Only then did he get into trouble with the law, charged with animal cruelty in Long Beach where a jury convicted him after a trial.

He served 10 months in prison and 13 months on parole on that conviction.”

On one hand, the Navy screwed up; on the other… you had your chance, lady:

It might seem like a bad idea to get into a fight with an adversary that has battleships and fighter jets at its disposal.

But that isn’t stopping Alyson Pacini.

Pacini, co-owner of a small jewelry shop on Cape Cod, isn’t backing down after the US Navy launched a new recruiting campaign with the slogan “Forged by the Sea” — a tagline she’s been using since 2011 and trademarked five years later…

…Actually, the Navy also spent $10 million to come up with the very same slogan.

Pacini, who handles the day-to-day operations of her Designs by S&R in Orleans as well as making the jewelry, was suspicious when she received a call from a representative of the US Navy this fall. She hadn’t hired a trademark attorney to file the paperwork, and she’d received scam letters in the mail with offers to buy it in the past.

The representative was following up on an earlier e-mail, one that inquired about Pacini’s trademark, saying the Navy believed the “tagline would work well with our nautical missions and would be interested in buying it.”

The Navy representative, Nadine Santiago, followed up with a written request: Would Pacini agree to transfer the trademark registration to the Navy in exchange for $5,000? Santiago suggested the Navy would then provide her a license “to continue using the name on your business at no cost to you.”

Pacini was wary and responded saying that she believed the trademark was worth more than their offer.

Santiago upped the offer to $7,500 on Nov. 14, and Pacini responded six days later saying she was busy with her shop during the holiday season and was planning to contact a lawyer.

A week later, the Navy filed the trademark paperwork for using the phrase in games, puzzles, and toys. On Dec. 5, they filed another round of paperwork for the use of the term in recruitment efforts. And on Dec. 9, they unveiled the slogan in a sleek new ad during the Army/Navy football game.”

He told you to put the cigarette out:

Jeez, dude: 

COLUMBUS, Ohio — A disgruntled mail carrier facing dismissal has been charged with aggravated murder for fatally shooting his supervisor at a suburban Ohio post office and with murder for killing a postmaster outside of her apartment complex.

Twenty-four-year-old DeShaune Stewart, of Columbus, was naked during both slayings Saturday morning inside the Dublin post office and at an apartment complex in nearby Columbus, police said.”

(Colombus PD)

Stewart is charged with killing 52-year-old Lance Dempsey at the post office just before 4:30 a.m. Stewart had been scheduled to walk his mail route on Saturday, Columbus homicide Sgt. David Sicilian said.

Columbus police dispatchers received a 911 call around 7:15 a.m. about a man with a gun chasing a woman outside the apartment complex, about 4 miles (6 kilometers) from the post office. Patrol officers arrested Stewart and recovered a handgun after he tried to run away.

The body of the postmaster, Ginger Ballard, 53, was found lying between two vehicles. A police affidavit filed with the murder charge in Franklin County Municipal Court said Ballard died instantly of blunt-force trauma to the head after being thrown to the ground, The Columbus Dispatch reported.”

Humanity is doomed. Merry Christmas, everyone. @BKactual