News Roundup: SOF Live Tissue Doc Accused, Ballin’ Marco Rubio, Fake Marine Prison Escapee

SOF Medic Trainer Accused of Inappropriate Student Contact:

A former U.S. Army doctor whose company has received $10.5 million from the government to train military personnel in trauma medicine is being accused of a variety of inappropriate training procedures, including drugging at least 10 students, sexually exploiting at least two students, and inflicting unnecessary cruelty on live animals.

The Virginia Board of Medicine suspended Dr. John Hagmann‘s medical license in March, and a full hearing, which could result in Hagmann losing his license for good, is scheduled for June 19.

The litany of accusations contained in the medical board’s report ranges from the inappropriate to the grotesque. Hagmann, 59, allegedly drugged students with alcohol and Ketamine, a hypnosis drug, to measure their response time and cognition while they were intoxicated. He ordered them to perform procedures on one another, sometimes while the patients were under the influence of drugs or alcohol.

Before I even start offering my opinion on this, let me disclose the following: Not only did I attend several of Dr. Hagmann’s courses as a trainee, I actually worked several courses for him as an instructor. So I believe I’m in some position to comment on this.

I’ve read through the entire complaint, which you can do right here.  Most of the complaints seem pretty benign, like having students who weren’t licensed in the state of Virginia administering drugs, and not obtaining complete medical histories before injecting Ketamine. I mean, really? Another issue was students practicing foley catheters on each other. Not something you find most medics practicing on the reg, but, all tittering and penis jokes aside, something that we’ve all been trained on.

The one thing I did have an issue with is the claim of not obtaining express consent on drug-incapacitated students before doing specific procedures on them, even with witnesses around, and, in this day and age, you CANNOT perform intimate procedures like Foleys without these consents. There were other incidents of students feeling “uncomfortable” with procedures. However, I’m not seeing any criminal charges here: this seems to be purely an ethics case. And if Dr. Hagmann had some ulterior motives for these alleged incidents, he needs to be held accountable and apologize. Having booze along with drug administration, while sounding pretty awesome in theory, probably isn’t a great idea, either.

But for now, I will reserve judgement on Dr. Hagmann’s motives for performing some sensitive procedures one-one-one with students. I don’t believe this was some kind of sexual thing, but who knows? I was a daily employee, arriving in the morning and leaving in the evening. I never was out in the field for a week or anything. I can tell you that I never saw anything like that or got ANY kind of weird sex vibe from him, and this is coming from someone who has NSA-level gaydar. Actually, he seemed just super nerdy about medicine. But it was unwise of him to allow himself to be put in this position.

What I DO want to talk about are the legitimacy of these classes in general, for these doctors and politicians seem to be horrified that they even exist. And it is very possible that they are using these violations to put the doctor out of business, which would be a tremendous loss to combat medical training.

First off, Dr. Hagmann’s company, Deployment Medicine International (DMI,) and other companies, put on the most valuable combat medic courses that I had ever been a part of. As trainees, we were given the chance to do things that no civilian paramedic would EVER get to do. And the entire time, the very existence of these courses were in jeopardy. Dr. Hagmann’s company has been under attack for years by the usual suspects:

Earlier today, PETA sent to U.S. Secretary of Defense Ashton Carter a summary of an undercover video it says it took during a 2013 training session by Hagmann’s company. The group also asked the Pentagon to cease contracting with DMI. Goodman said the video depicts gratuitous violence against the wounded pigs, and racist and sexist jokes by course instructors.

PETA posted the video, which includes graphic violence, to their YouTube account.

Oh, now we know the REAL crime. SEXIST JOKES!

I watched the video, which I will not link to here. You can easily find it on youtube, though. The racist joke was saying, “haji,” to describe the Taliban. Yeah, guys who have spent the last 15 years getting shot at and watching their friends blow up by the Taliban and Al-Queada get to say “haji.” I DECIDED. It’s hard to believe that one of our medic students, some little piece of shit, would sneak a hidden camera in to film this stuff. 

This is not the faculty lounge at Berkeley or NYU. This is a serious, deadly, dirty business, filled with grime and gore. Our leadership is being influenced far, far too much by silly, fundamentally unserious fools, who think this shit is just a video game. They’ve never lived it. They’ve never spend one second of discomfort in their cozy little bubbles. Is there some gallows humor involved? Obviously. I don’t care what line of work you’re in: firefighters, nurses, doctors, police, and soldiers are always going to use some macabre comedy to cope with the grim reality that they see on an everyday basis. And there is NOTHING more annoying to me than some ivory tower academic, activist, or journalist lecturing US on how to cope with death and mutilation. Just SHUT UP. 

As for PETA? Let’s not forget, this is a group that runs their own version of puppy Auschwitz. More than 2,000 animals are sheltered by PETA every year, and over 90% of them are put down. And for what? Did those animals at least give their lives so that human lives could possibly be saved? Of course not. So why anyone still listens to these imbeciles is beyond me.

And now, one of the stupidest people in Congress, Rep. Hank Johnson, is introducing legislation to ban live-tissue training in the United States. Who is Hank Johnson? C’mon, you remember… it’s this guy:

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=QCTYsmz8ook

Ha! THE PARTY OF SCIENCE.

But buffoonish Hank Johnson aside, there are other issues. The reporters always find some imbecile claiming that mannequins are just as effective. Please: stop with the mannequins. Maybe, one day, after we’ve created cyborgs that will eventually kill us all, we’ll have mannequins that can come close. But now, you can’t compare the two. Nobody gives a shit about a mannequin like they do a living, breathing, thing.

The training goes far beyond just immediate tactical combat casualty care. I’ve participated in courses where that was just the beginning. The junior medics would bring our patients into our mock OR, where we would spend HOURS on longer-term critical care. Things like wound debridement, anti-infection techniques, suturing, blood transfusions, and chest tubes. Things you don’t get to practice anywhere else. Things that no civilian paramedic has probably EVER done in the real world, or EVER been trained on. 

I’ve also read critics who think that we can have our medics get all the training they need in the hospital E.R. Hey, great idea! Except, let me tell you how that’s going to go in the real world:

First, it might be a slow week or ten in the E.R. We can’t afford to sit around that long waiting for shit to happen. It’s all good for a civilian medic, but we Hooyah combat medics also have weapons training, PT, jump training, mountaineering training, dive training, diversity training and all the other goddamn training to take care of.

Then, when a gunshot wound finally comes into the E.R., he’s almost certainly been worked on to some extent by the civilian paramedics. So you don’t even get to to work your MARCH algorithm, or mess with gear you’ll be carrying. You are not a first responder in the E.R.

Finally, you’re going to be subjected to whatever the doc on call wants. And the last thing he wants is to have to compete with some shithead boot medic student who is going to steal bragging rights over his chest tube or endotracheal tube that he wants to use to wow the hot young nurse that he’s trying to bang. Also, get in line behind the E.R. residents, the anesthesia residents, the nurse trainees, and any other civilian students, who are all waiting around hoping for the exact same opportunity.

Of course, whenever the subject of Live Tissue Training comes up, the reporter has to quote some beard-scratching MORON M.D. who, predictably, always tells us that there is no benefit to this training. Why don’t they ever ask any combat medics? Let me be perfectly clear about this: If you argue that using current simulators is better training for the combat medic than live animals, you are a fucking idiot. 

Dr. Howard Mell, a spokesman for the American College of Emergency Physicians, said he could not comment on any specific case. But speaking generally about “shock labs,” Mell said subjecting students to such problems during training would be absurd.

“I treat people in the ER every day for things I have never experienced,” said Mell, a Cleveland doctor who trains emergency medical workers and police officers. “I certainly don’t need to experience shock to know how to treat it. If that logic was true, men couldn’t be obstetricians.”

Let me address Dipshit Dr. Mell up there. First off, I actually underwent some of that training. And it wasn’t just to monitor the experiences of shock, despite the scare quotes around the term “SHOCK LAB!!!!”  The MAIN object was to learn how to do a field blood transfusion, which, again, is training that NO civilian paramedic has ever had chance to learn (not to mention doctors,) but is vital training to the combat medic. Noting someone’s physiological reaction to the blood loss was just a byproduct of the training.

I love how these doctors all think that the combat medic is in any way, shape, or form, comparable to their nice, huge, climate-controlled Emergency Room, filled with practically unlimited supplies, many sets of hands, many other fellow doctors to correct you, and tons of nurses to scream at to hand you shit.

Now, contrast that with this: you are a 22 year old corpsman/ranger medic/PJ/18D. You are out on a small patrol with a dozen other Americans, and a half dozen Afghanis, approaching a small village.

BOOOOOOOOOM!!! An IED just exploded. You have five guys down. Blood is everywhere. Now gunfire starts coming out and raking over your heads. All you hear is screaming. You are looking towards the pile of five mangled bodies. AND YOU’RE THE GUY. THE ONLY GUY.

You want that to be your young medic’s first time that he sees some blood and guts? The first time he’s been put under stress?

And his assertion that there is no value in subjecting students to conditions they might have to treat is also absurd. A brief, personal story to give an example:

I was attending one of these courses with a bunch of foreign military guys. Big, burly dudes. So, it came time to insert some sternal I/O devices, specifically the F.A.S.T. 1. Under norman classroom conditions, we give each other a healthy dose of local anesthesia, (Lidocaine being the choice here,) in the sternal area, because, as you can see, this bastard looks like a mideval torture device:

So this enormous German sonofabitch that I’m partnered with announces, “I vill take no anesthesia. I must see vhat zees feels like vith NAHSING.”

So now, it’s my turn, and I’m not going to let this goddamn NATIONAL SOCIALIST show up America. So I, too, go sans anesthesia and take these needles pushed into my chest, which hurt like Satan’s fire. It was like that chick from Precious was gnawing her way into my thoracic cavity.

The thing is, with the FAST, once it’s in, you MUST clear the bone plug that you have just created. Otherwise, you will hook up your IV tubing to the line, and you won’t get any flow, because the line going into your chest is all clogged up with sternal bone. And that happened to me the first time I had ever used one of these, previously. It took someone else un-fucking me to get it to work.

So, the procedure for clearing that bone plug is to hook up a ten CC syringe filled with saline, hook it up to the FAST line, and slam it with the heel of your hand to force that fluid in and clear the plug. Remember, there is no asethesia on board.

I felt like I had been kicked in the chest by a giant Clydesdale that had just eaten a trough of meth. It took my breath away. I mean, I like to think I’m pretty tough, but I’m not going to lie: I almost passed out.

The point of all of this, is that from now until the day I die, I will NEVER forget to clear the bone plug. So if, god forbid, if I happen to be the only medic around, and I have five guys down, and my mind is going a bajillion miles a minute, and there are helicopters landing, and people yelling, and snipers taking potshots, and my vehicle is on fire, and the base is on the radio asking for a 9 line, and a few mortars are exploding nearby, my muscle and brain memory will kick in, all because I had that experience.

So, while the doofus doctors out there may scoff, sometimes, again, YOU ARE THE GUY. You can’t afford to not remember anything. There probably won’t be anyone around to remind you. It might be hours, or days, before someone can come get you. This isn’t the civilian world, where paramedics are basically being relegated to ambulance drivers, and constantly having their scope of practice lessened.

Live tissue training is a tremendous resource for the combat medic. Ask any PJ, 18D, or corpsman, or any of the non-medic SOF members that have been lucky enough to have it, and they would tell you the same. I wouldn’t say I enjoyed the work: it was messy, and dirty, and bloody, and solemn; but I was very proud to play a small part in NECESSARY training for some of our uniform service members, and hopefully, that training came in handy. I fear that with this investigation, we will be another step closer to having this training eliminated. Since our leaders in the Pentagon are so susceptible to the opinions of fools, it wouldn’t surprise me at all.

Five Year Anniversary of Pedro 66 Helicopter Crash:

On Wednesday, June 9 2010, two Air Force Combat Search and Rescue Sikorsky HH-60G Pave Hawk helicopters (call signs “Pedro 66” and “Pedro 67”) flew their mission to rescue a critically injured British Marine near Forward Operating Base Jackson in the Sangin district, Helmand province, in southern Afghanistan.

Upon arriving at the scene, both helicopters immediately came under enemy fire. “Pedro 67” landed to recover the wounded Marine, while “Pedro 66” (assigned to the 55th Rescue Squadron at Davis-Monthan Air Force Base, Arizona) remained in the air to provide cover.

While still airborne, “Pedro 66” was hit by an enemy launched rocket-propelled grenade, critically damaging the tail rotor. Prior to the aircraft’s uncontrollable spin and subsequent crash, Captain Wisniewski was able to guide the aircraft away from the Landing Zone, friendly troops and civilian houses on the ground, avoiding probable additional loss of life. Immediately, Royal Marines of the 40 Commando’s Charlie Company along with Pedro 67, risking their own lives, rushed to rescue the survivors and secure the scene.

Today, let each of us take a moment to remember the five Fallen Heroes and the families they left behind.

Capt David Wisniewski, Pilot
1Lt Joel Gentz, CRO
TSgt Michael Flores, PJ
SSgt David Smith, FE
SrA Benjamin White, PJ

What Could Possibly Go Wrong?:

President Obama made the decision following a request from Iraqi Prime Minister Haider Al-Abadi, it said.

The troops will be deployed to the Taqaddum military base in Anbar province. IS seized Ramadi – the capital of Anbar – in May.
It has made gains across the region despite US-led coalition air strikes.

The move is aimed at enabling more Iraqis – mostly Sunni tribal volunteers – to integrate into the Iraq army and reclaim territory from Islamic State.

“These new advisers will work to build capacity of Iraqi forces, including local tribal fighters, to improve their ability to plan, lead, and conduct operations” against IS in Anbar, the White House statement added.

Here we go again. To recap: We’ve been at this in Iraq for 12 years. Over 3,500 Americans have been killed. Tens of thousands have been wounded, many left with crippling injuries for life. And the number of families thrown into turmoil, divorces filed, and emotional wounds inflicted? Who the hell knows?

So let me ask, again: What is the goal in Iraq? What is the mission? WHAT ARE WE DOING? I, for one, have pretty much had it with the entire region. I don’t recall anyone in the United States voting for our country to spend trillions of dollars trying to squash squabbling between warring tribes, each of whom believes everyone else’s interpretation of the magic book is anathema and needs to be punished with death. 

Meanwhile, China and Russia are hacking into our servers seemingly whenever they want to, stealing information about our federal employees, and we appear obsessed over which group of religious fanatics occupy a particular dirt patch in a barely habitable, shitty corner of the world. Let them work it out amongst themselves.

Who Are You to Say Otherwise?:

The city of Spokane, Washington has opened an investigation into whether Rachel Dolezal, the president of the local chapter of the NAACP, lied about her race when she identified herself as African-American on her application to serve on the citizen police ombudsman commission, thereby violating the city’s code of ethics.

In addition to serving as the chair of the police commission and president of the local NAACP chapter—which the Spokesman Review credits her with revitalizing—Dolezal works as an adjunct faculty member at Eastern Washington University. Here she is delivering a lecture on the cultural significance of black women’s hair.

However! Dolezal’s birth certificate lists her biological parents as Ruthanne and Lawrence Dolezal of Montana. On Thursday, Ruthanne and Lawrence confirmed to the Coeur d’Alene Press that Rachel is their biological daughter—and that they are both white:

Did I call this one last week or what? This is absolutely fantastic. Once society has deemed what your lyin’ eyes tell you is false, there’s no end to the shysters that will come out of the woodwork. So if Beyonce up there wants to call herself black, who are you to say otherwise? Isn’t race just a social construction? Well, she violated the first rule of the grifter: Don’t be greedy.

Apparently this mental patient has written extensively on her trials and tribulations as a black female in our awful, white supremacist world, when she herself was born and raised whiter than the Lawrence Welk Show. You can’t make this stuff up. Now, I’m looking forward to all of the whacky social justice warriors tying themselves up into knots explaining how a white female identifying as black is super offensive, but a man identifying as a woman is super awesome. It’s already started in the comment sections of the usual left wing outposts. (go there at your peril, brave readers.)

Oh, and this is great, too:

Dolezal made headlines back in February when she claimed someone had mailed racist and threatening letters to the NAACP post office box. KHQ managed to obtain a 38-page Spokane Police report about the investigation into that mail. Officers concluded that the mail had not been properly processed through the post office, and was likely put directly into the post office box, without being mailed at all. They said only a few people have access to the box: the USPS employees who work there, and the boxholder. Police said they do not believe the USPS employees put the mail there. The investigation continues.

Why can’t police ever come out and just say, “What we have here is a deranged lunatic who made up a story to elicit social-justice sympathy. We’re closing the case.” What’s with the non-judgey “investigation continues” charade?

However, I think she’s on to something.  I’ve decided that I identify as a female Guatemalan illegal alien. Now give me my back tax refund, whitey.

All kidding aside (and believe me, I could go to TOWN with this one,) this woman needs psychological help. And now, with the internet, the whole world knows about her. Learn to love who you are, people. Although I still fully support older women who want to get boob jobs. BUT THAT’S IT.

They Walk Amongst You:

A curious Coloradan shot himself in the foot because he wanted to know “what it felt like,” according to police.

Colorado Springs Police said an officer was dispatched to a local hospital on Wednesday to investigate a reported accidental gunshot wound.

The suspect — 34-year-old Adam Hirtle — explained to the officer that he had been in his garage when curiosity struck.

“He wanted to know what it felt like to be shot,” police said in a statement, adding that Hirtle stated he “took his boot off and shot it, then placed his boot back on his foot and then intentionally shot himself in the foot.”

This all goes back to my theory that we have far too much time on our hands. I’m trying to figure this guy out. So he takes the boot off and shoots it, right? Then what? Is he holding the boot up to his face, examining the hole? Is he thinking, “Huh. That there is a hole, all right. It would be cooler if my foot ALSO had a hole?”  I’m going to take a wild shot in the dark and guess Mr. Hirtle is unemployed.

Marco Rubio is a Baller:

In an effort to showcase Sen. Marco Rubio’s history of financial struggles, The New York Times reported Tuesday that the Florida Republican had spent “$80,000 for a luxury speedboat” even as he faced outstanding debts.

But while Rubio did indeed spend $80,000 on a boat, the vessel in question is not the glamorous “luxury speedboat” the Times article portrayed. It is, in fact, an offshore fishing boat.

On Tuesday, Rubio spokesperson Alex Conant sent POLITICO a link to a website showing the make and model of the boat Rubio owns: an EdgeWater 245CC Deep-V Center Console. The manufacturer, Edgewater, notes that the boat is perfect for “safety-minded family boaters and avid anglers.” In a place like Miami, home to billionaires and stars who have multimillion-dollar yachts, an “$80,000 luxury boat” can seem like a contradiction.

Hey check it out: I put Rubio’s boat in Hillary’s swimming pool to scale. pic.twitter.com/VFpxsvYtnV

— John Ekdahl (@JohnEkdahl) June 10, 2015

My default political stance is that all politicians are lying thieves. I have no love for Marco Rubio, who seems hell-bent on displacing American workers with low-paid foreigners, but this is absurd. By all accounts, the man lives fairly modestly, and made a splurge with an advance on a book he was writing to purchase a small boat. Not the wisest financial decision, perhaps, but hardly worthy of some crazy investigation.

It would be funny if it wasn’t so pathetic. The Marxist media spent all of 2012 bashing Mitt Romney for being too wealthy. Now they are bashing Marco Rubio for not being wealthy enough? Weird, I don’t seem to recall the New York Times investigating John Kerry and his boat, which is worth almost 100 times what Rubio paid for his. He’s the Secretary of State; how did he afford that boat, anyway? Oh, right… he’s a sugar baby.

Meanwhile, Hillary Clinton continues to receive hundreds of thousands of dollars by the taxpayers in order to deliver her Jesus-if-you-exist-please-kill-me-now boring speeches, and taking bribes from foreign governments. I’m sure that the Times will get right on that.

Probably not, though.

Even Prison Inmates Enjoy Stealing Valor:

One of the two men responsible for the “Shawshank Redemption”-style prison breakout Saturday sports a sizable eagle, globe and anchor tattoo, but Corps officials say he never served as a Marine.

Images released of Richard Matt, convicted of killing and dismembering his boss, show that he has the Marine-style tattoo on his right shoulder. The eagle, globe and anchor became the Corps’ official emblem in 1955, and Matt’s tattoo raised questions about whether he was a veteran.

But the Marine Corps has no record of Matt serving, Yvonne Carlock, a spokeswoman with Manpower and Reserve Affairs, told Marine Corps Times.

The EGA could be an artistic add to the other two tattoos Matt, 48, has on his body: “Mexico Forever” on his back, and a heart on his chest and left shoulder.

So the search for the infamous prison escapee duo of Matt/Sweat continues. Pretty good artwork for a tattoo that was made with a ballpoint pen and a battery. That’s IF he got that tattoo while he was in the can. The article didn’t say, and I googled for days. The only other detail that came up about Matt?

He has an enormous penis.  How or why they were able to glean that information, I’m not sure of.

Ms. Dee Don’t Play:

Five male intruders fled a Detroit woman’s home on Tuesday after she fought them off with her personal handgun. She obtained the weapon after her home was robbed three years ago.

The victim, who goes by Ms. Dee, was shot in the leg at 2 a.m. while exchanging gunfire with the men, but she said one of them was likely hit.

“I was able to get to my gun. They didn’t know I had it. By that time, it was just gunfire. We are regular people. We work every day. Me and my fiancé, we work every day. We don’t do drugs. We don’t do none of that,” Ms. Dee said, a local NBC affiliate reported Tuesday.

I love it. Ms. Dee (that was the only name she gave, which is awesome,) showed tremendous moxie. I admire moxie. She also got me thinking about what name I will give the media if I’m ever interviewed. I’m thinking Mr. Cream, Doctor Reinhold McJohnson, or, if I’m feeling extra pithy, maybe just Da Thugmendous.

Her brother Corey had a message for future home invaders.

“If you break into our home, we’re going to kill you,” he said, the station reported.

Well said, Corey. I like the cut of Corey’s jib. You can reach our complaint department @BKactual.