Jihadists Discover Texas is Not Paris:

(CNN)It wasn’t a fair fight.

On one side, you had two men in body armor, toting assault rifles and showing every willingness to open fire now and count their victims later. On the other, you had a security officer — a traffic officer by day — with a pistol.

Somehow, the officer won.

Authorities have not released the name of the overmatched Garland, Texas, police officer who stopped a pair of gunmen Sunday night outside that city’s Curtis Culwell Center, where people had gathered at an event featuring controversial cartoons of the Muslim Prophet Mohammed. But they have described what he did, actions that could be characterized as equal parts skillful, heroic and miraculous.

OUT-FREAKING-STANDING. In any regular scenario, going up against two guys armed with assault rifles armed only with a pistol would be a suicide mission. Luckily, these are incompetent jihadists we’re talking about, but still. Word is, the cop was on a cigarette break. Ergo, smoking saves lives. 

Look, soldiers of Allah: Texas is not, I repeat, IS NOT, France. If you expected a similar situation as the Charlie Hebdo massacre, you were sorely mistaken. Texans love guns. Texans love shooting guns. Texans do not care for jihadists. THEY WILL KILL YOU.

Instantly, I knew this was some sort of crazed terrorist attack. But there always has to be the pearl-clutchers telling us all to wait, fervently hoping that it was some crazy right-winger pissed off about chem trails, 9/11, the federal reserve, or immigrants. Like an idiot, as soon as I heard the news, I had to scan through that virtual wretched hive of scum and villainy known as Twitter (note the timestamp-before anyone identified the shooters):

Of course, the old hippy blocked me before I could give her the old “I told you so” tweet.

But here we go with the media hand-wringing. Check out the headline the Washington Post had up a few days after the attack: “Event organizer offers no apology after thwarted attack in Texas.”

Unbelievable. Why don’t they just write the headline,  “Rape Victim wearing short skirt should have known better” the next time they cover a sexual assault story?

One wonders if the Washington Post and other outlets would write similar headlines about the Sisters of Perpetual Indulgence, a homosexual drag queen group that dresses in nun’s outfits and bestows names on each other like, “Sister Anita Blowjob,” and “Sister Gloriana Rimjob.”

They even hold an event every year called, “The Hunky Jesus” contest, held on EASTER, of all times. Not only are they tolerated, they are celebrated by the local San Francisco papers and have many Chapters across the U.S.

Now let us indulge in a hypothetical: Suppose a couple of nutty Christian rednecks had loaded up their assault rifles, picked up a couple of sixers, road-tripped over to San Francisco, and started shooting up old hunky Jesus and Gloriana Rimjob. Ya think we’d see the same reaction from our pathetic media?

Would Chris Matthews (supposedly a good Catholic,) hyperventilate about the “sisters” like he did about the AFDI, the group that held the “draw Mohammed” contest? Will Obama spokes-hack Josh Ernest be asked about the “appropriateness” of the events this group puts on? Will a New York Times reporter tweet about why anyone would put on an event like this? Will newspapers (!!!!) openly editorialize about adding limits to speech?

Will a major journalism organization hold an awards ceremony for Pamela Geller to laud her courage? Will an idiotic college professor tweet repeatedly condemning the event? Would the Garland Mayor be excoriating Pamela Geller for “inviting an incendiary reaction?”   I could easily name dozens more, but I think you get my point.

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The answer to all of these is a resounding “no,” of course. Because these people only believe in the freedom of speech that they agree with, which, of course, is not believing in freedom of speech at all. Remember, when someone says, “I believe in freedom of speech, but…,” just discount everything they say before the “but.”

You may not like these events. You may despise the gay provocateurs, you may despise the muslim-baiting provocateurs. So counter them with more speech, or, if all else fails, just ignore them. But you don’t get to shut people up because YOU don’t happen to like what they are saying or doing. We have the right to be assholes.

The shooting shows precisely why this sort of speech is necessary. Think of it as an act of defiance. The best way to wound a fascist, medieval ideology is through mockery. This is standing up and saying, “We will not be cowed; we will not be bullied. This is America, where we can say whatever the hell we want. And if you want to come here, you either get with the program or take your ass back to whatever marxist theocratic pit you came from.”

In other countries, there is no freedom of speech. England, the land that gave us the Magna Carta, routinely jails people now for “misuse” of social media, including hashtags. The marxist Labour candidate for prime minister is openly calling for critics of Islam to be jailed. JAILED!!

I’ve written at length about this before. The first amendment is under attack constantly. There are plenty of Americans who believe that any speech that hurts someone’s feelings should be outlawed. In a recent poll, over half of self-identified democrats said that “hate speech” should be criminalized. These people would describe themselves as “liberal,” a term that used to be synonymous with a fanatical devotion to speech and publishing freedoms. I’m sure it’s actually far more than that. Go to any university in America, and ask the kids their if they think “hate speech” should be criminalized. Pretty sure it would be an overwhelming “yes.”

Freedom of speech is too often associated solely with the Constitution. While it’s fantastic that we have that remarkable document, it is not something that should be held up as the only shield. More importantly, the concepts of freedom of speech needs to be alive in the hearts and minds of men, and it is DYING. Sadly, the freedom to be free from criticism and offense are taking precedent over the freedom to speak one’s mind.

And that spells doom for a free society.

Combat Controller Awarded Air Force Cross:

Senior Airman Dustin Temple will receive the Air Force Cross on May 6 for repeatedly braving enemy fire to gather ammunition and call in dozens of airstrikes, saving 38 lives during a 48-hour battle in September in Afghanistan.

Tech. Sgt. Matthew Greiner and Senior Airman Goodie Goodman will receive Silver Stars for their actions in the same battle. The airmen are assigned to the 21st Special Tactics Squadron, 24th Special Operations Wing, at Pope Army Airfield, North Carolina.

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The airmen were embedded with an Army Special Forces team when the team was ambushed by nearly 100 insurgents in Helmand province. The team of 38 were low on ammo when the airmen worked to control numerous aircraft, providing close-air support and saving the lives of the team, according to Air Force Special Operations Command.

I’ve already mentioned my Combat Control brothers in a couple other roundups, but I hadn’t heard about the Air Force Cross (second only to the Medal of Honor, for you civvies.) Keep in mind that this is an E-4 here, folks.  These young men are the absolute finest America has to offer. God DAMMIT, I’m going to do some pushups to work off all of this hooyah I’m feeling right now.

Government Credit Cards For Sexytime, Gambling:

A Defense Department audit has found that a number of Pentagon employees used their government credit cards to gamble and pay for “adult entertainment” — findings that are expected to lead department officials to issue stern new warnings.

The audit of “Government Travel Charge Transactions” by the Department of Defense Office of Inspector General, which is to be made public in coming weeks, found that both civilian and military employees used the credit cards at casinos and for escort services and other adult activities — in Las Vegas and Atlantic City.

A Pentagon official briefed on some of the findings stressed that the federal government did not necessarily pay the charges; holders of the cards pay their own bills and then submit receipts to be reimbursed for expenses related to their government business.

Where were all these guys when I was still in? Also: hookers are taking credit cards now? Don’t worry, though, because Congress is ON IT:

Yeah, NOW he tells us…er, THEM. I meant THEM, dammit.

First Ever C0-Ed Ranger School Class No Longer Co-Ed:

All eight female soldiers who survived the initial days of the first-ever Army Ranger School course to include women failed to make it to the second phase, but can still try again and pass, Army officials said Friday.

The women were attempting the famously difficult 62-day course as the Pentagon weighs which combat jobs women will be allowed to hold in the future. Army officials at Fort Benning, Ga., said that 115 men in the class had moved on to Ranger School’s second phase — mountaineering at Camp Merrill, Ga. — but that eight women and 101 men will be left behind at Fort Benning, Ga., to attempt Phase One again.

I love how the Washington Post has to stick that caveat in the first sentence of the story. They are DESPERATE to have this happen. Also:

Maj. Gen. Scott Miller, the top general at Fort Benning, Ga., said in a statement that he met with the students Thursday, and was impressed that those who can attempt the first phase again want to continue.

Must be nice. This has to be the first time in military history that a group of Army school washouts got to have a meeting with a Major General. I wonder if he met with the guys who also didn’t make it? Well, good on the ladies for giving it a shot, I guess. Oh, also this from the General:

“They’re a strong group of soldiers who are working their way through the U.S. Army’s most physically and mentally demanding course,” said Miller, commanding general of the Army’s Maneuver Center of Excellence.

Hmmm… that is highly debatable.  Highly debatable indeed.

Female Army Captain Shows Some Guts:

In the closing moments of a grueling 12-mile road march, Army Capt. Sarah Cudd fell to her knees. She was exhausted, bowed over by the heavy pack on her back and seemingly unable to continue.

The soldier pressed on, however. Using her rifle to prop herself up, she stumbled to her feet and made it another nine steps before falling again. Other soldiers gathered around her, cheering her on. She rose again, and gritted it out another 50 feet or so until she made it across the finish line while her colleagues erupted in excitement.

Great job, Captain. Because of you, I will refrain from making my usual misogynistic wisecracks for one week. I’d hump a ruck with you anytime.

America’s Oldest Veteran Turning 109 Years Old; Enjoys Whiskey, Cigars:

America’s oldest-living veteran is on the cusp of turning 109 years old, and he still smokes 12 cigars a day.

Richard Overton, an Army veteran of World War II now living in Austin, Texas, still enjoys his whiskey too.

Although Overton does not turn 109 until May 11, his Austin neighborhood threw him an early birthday party on May 3, consisting of burgers, milkshakes, and of course cigars.

“I smoke at least 12 Tampa Sweet cigars a day,” Overton told The Wall Street Journal.

How awesome is Mr. Overton? I have a sudden desire to start throwing some liquid courage into my morning coffee now. He was already in his 30s when he joined up, and still going strong. Deployed to the Pacific, he helped build airfields on various islands for the war effort. So how does he do it?

However, his neighbors have a few ideas of their own as to how Overton keeps chugging along.

Whiskey and cigars and never stop moving,” a neighbor told Fox affiliate KTBC.

In addition to his somewhat unorthodox habits, Overton stays busy throughout the day — trimming trees, helping with horses, and never watches television, according to Fox.

There you have it: Booze, smokes, and go without the Kardashians. Sounds like heaven.

Veteran-Owned Business of the Week- Minutemen Express Catering:

Another food truck/catering company, this one in the Lebanon, Tennessee area. Hit them up on Facebook here, and keep track of their movements on twitter here. It looks like they are just getting started, so I don’t have a lot of intel on them yet.

Thanks to Mark for giving me the heads up on twitter. If you have any vet buddies that want some free publicity for their tax shelter small business, get at me @BKactual. 

Ruh Roh: The Cartel is Using RPGs Now?:

MEXICO CITY—Suspected drug cartel gunmen used rocket-propelled grenades to shoot down a Mexican army helicopter for the first time last week in the latest sign that burgeoning criminal organizations are using increasingly violent and powerful means to fight the government, officials said Monday.

Enrique Galindo, Mexico’s federal police commissioner, told a television news program the army helicopter had been brought down by RPGs, a weapon usually employed against armored vehicles or infantry.

That’s just great. How long until they start launching a few of those things at our Border Patrol guys? Mexico is also on the list of countries needing to be nuked from orbit. It’s the only way to be sure. 

America’s Greatest American Loves Flag; Nudity:

MURFREESBORO, TN -A man was arrested after police say he was standing naked holding an American flag along a road in Murfreesboro.

Callum Burks of Shelbyville was nude when he was found by an officer standing at the intersection of Halls Hill Pike and Journey Drive holding a flag pole with the American flag and a Marine Corps flag on Saturday.

Respect, Brother... Respect.

According to the arrest report, the 22-year-old told the officer that he was watching the Mayweather vs. Pacquiao fight, “and when he watched the national anthem, he felt very moved, so he decided he needed to do something.”

Burks admitted to taking the flags and the pole from a house down the street.

If there’s one thing I think we can all agree on, it’s that getting nude and holding an American flag is pretty much the most ‘Murica thing ever. Except I have a minor quibble. He watched Jaime Foxx ABSOLUTELY BUTCHER the national anthem and he was inspired by THAT pile of vomit? OY. Come on, guy.

Drunker Than 10000 Indians:

A US Air Force general has been forced to step down over his “inappropriate comment” at a disciplinary hearing. He studied a photo showing two officers, describing them as “drunker than 10,000 Indians.”

“I inadvertently made an unfortunate comment, I own it, and I hold myself accountable to the same high standards my subordinate commanders are held to,” Major General Michael Keltz said in a statement.

“As a result, I have tendered my resignation from command and requested to retire from service,” he added.

Keltz was the commander of 19th Air Force, which has over 35,000 military personnel, 1,600 aircraft in 19 units across the US, according to mid-2000s estimates.

Keltz is a decorated combat pilot who headed operations in Iraq and Afghanistan.

Come on, General. Everyone knows that the Irish are FAR drunker than indians any day of the week. Seriously, though: One off-color comment is enough now to destroy a highly-distinguished career. Think upon that, and tremble. And that, as far as ethnic slurs go, was pretty tame if you ask me. But it doesn’t matter anymore. Because…

The Diversity Cult:

WASHINGTON — The senior leadership of the Air Force remains largely white and male despite an emphasis on diversity in the service and throughout the military, according to data and interviews with service leaders.

The Air Force has 280 generals, but just 18 of them belong to minority groups. That includes two Hispanic officers, or less than 1% of the total. The 13 African-American generals make up 4% of the Air Force’s general officer corps.

Beyond better representing the United States, the Air Force views diversity as necessary for effectiveness. It loses out on talented minorities and women when they’re underrepresented, said Chevalier Cleaves, the Air Force director of diversity and inclusion and a retired KC-135 tanker pilot.

“Diversity and inclusion are national security imperatives,” Cleaves said. “So we must succeed. There is no second place for us. In order to do that, we need to make sure that we leverage the talent of all Americans, not just some.”

For McDew, diversity of experience and thought lead to better decisions.

“In the 33 years I’ve been doing this, I’ve found you get a better solution if the people around the table aren’t all mimicking back to you what you’ve said,” he said. “What I want is a group of people who will come at it from a different angle, who will challenge what I’m thinking. And force me to think differently. I believe that’s what diversity gets you.”

USA Today is OBSESSED with these stories. I feel like I run one of these from their newspaper group every single stinking week. Look, we get it: You HATE having too many white guys around. JUST COME OUT AND SAY IT. Fuck. This is how you end up with NON-PILOTS (!!!!) commanding an air combat group in the Air Force.

As to General McDew and the gibberish that he’s touting? Yes, of course. We all know the “acceptable” talking points regarding diversity. Actually, all serious scholarship shows the exact opposite, but nobody talks about that. That could result in a double plus ungood thoughtcrime.

Gitmo Detainee Released By America’s Hat:

TORONTO — A Canadian judge on Friday ordered the release of a former Guantanamo Bay inmate while he appeals his conviction in a Washington court for war crimes, including killing a U.S. soldier.

Judge June Ross said the terms of Omar Khadr’s release will be determined May 5. Canada’s government said it would appeal the order.

Toronto-born Khadr is in prison in Alberta, serving out an eight-year sentence handed down by a U.S. military commission in 2010. He was convicted of five war-crimes, including throwing a grenade when he was 15 years old that killed Army Sgt. 1st Class Christopher Speer in Afghanistan during a 2002 firefight. He spent a decade in Guantanamo Bay.

Hey, thanks for NOTHING, Canada. Let me guess: he snookered the idiot judge with some tale of hardship and she FELL FOR IT. Oh, and get a load of this quote from one of his shyster attorneys (who is paying for them, anyway?):

“Omar is fortunate to be back in Canada where we have real courts and real laws,” said Nate Whitling, one of Khadr’s lawyers.

HAHAHAHAHA GOOD ONE, EH! Listen, you colossally convoluted Canuck: Just because YOU and the moron judge got bamboozled by this little shitbird, don’t you DARE toss out some sneering taunt about “real laws” to me. You only exist because we ALLOW you to. If it wasn’t so freaking cold up there, we would use a couple of our local cub scout troops to annex you. Jerk.

Thanks to Aaron @suppleleopard for the tweet about this one. If you have a good story, find me on twitter @BKactual. 

VETPAW- Veteran Anti-Poaching Group Kicked Out of Africa:

A small but splashy veterans group with lofty plans to take on African poachers has been kicked out of Tanzania in the wake of what appears to be a self-inflicted publicity blitz run amok.

A six-person team with VETPAW — Veterans Empowered to Protect African Wildlife — was ordered to leave the East Africa nation following a burst of controversy surrounding the group, according to multiple local media outlets in Tanzania’s largest city, Dar es Salaam.

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According to VETPAW posts and comments online, the team had been accompanied by an Animal Planet film crew that was producing a show on the group. A spokesman for the network did not return repeated calls for comment.

In a recent press conference surrounded by dozens of fatigue-clad Tanzanian park rangers whom VETPAW had come to train, the head of the country’s Ministry of Tourism and Natural Resources said he was “saddened” by recent posts that have been circulating widely online.

Those have included pictures of “tactical model” Kinessa Johnson — a former Army diesel mechanic now with VETPAW — posing with various weapons and gear.

I have no clue what a “tactical model” is, but I’m really interested in getting more information on this story. I’ve reached out into my vast web of pipe hitters for the gory details, so stand by.

AF Trainee Dies:

JOINT BASE SAN ANTONIO – LACKLAND, Texas – An Air Force basic trainee died after collapsing during routine physical fitness training on Monday.

According to Base Officials, the incident happened around 8 a.m. when the female trainee collapsed. On-scene medical personnel began immediate resuscitation efforts until Emergency Medical Response personnel arrived.

The trainee was then transported to San Antonio Military Medical Center where a medical team was unable to revive her.

That’s terrible. No matter how carefully you monitor your trainees, every once in a while, things like these are going to happen in an environment that is stressful and physically taxing. Damn shame.

Caprine Capers Cost Commander:

An adorable pygmy goat may have created a mess for a top Navy officer.

Capt. John Banigan, the commanding officer of the cruiser USS Lake Erie, has been removed amid an investigation into, among other things, Banigan’s transport of a pygmy goat named “Master Chief Charlie” to California.

The goat — a photogenic, well-groomed, brown-and-white sidekick — apparently has been serving as the unofficial mascot of the USS Lake Erie for a few years. The Navy Times, which uncovered the goat controversy, reported that the USS Lake Erie crew originally got the goat as a joke — “goat locker” is slang for the chief’s mess. He’s since become part of the team, and reportedly is a hit at command picnics and other events.

But here’s where the ship command may have run into trouble: When Master Chief Charlie was brought along for the ride from Hawaii to San Diego, Banigan may have violated California regulations on transporting livestock, the Navy Times reports.

Come on, you have to give it to me with THAT headline. Of course, in the modern media age we live in, some jokester instantly made a twitter account for the Master Chief:

Well played, seamen. Well played indeed.

Find me on twitter to send me anything we should take a look at.