Jihadists Discover Texas is Not Paris:

(CNN)It wasn’t a fair fight.

On one side, you had two men in body armor, toting assault rifles and showing every willingness to open fire now and count their victims later. On the other, you had a security officer — a traffic officer by day — with a pistol.

Somehow, the officer won.

Authorities have not released the name of the overmatched Garland, Texas, police officer who stopped a pair of gunmen Sunday night outside that city’s Curtis Culwell Center, where people had gathered at an event featuring controversial cartoons of the Muslim Prophet Mohammed. But they have described what he did, actions that could be characterized as equal parts skillful, heroic and miraculous.

OUT-FREAKING-STANDING. In any regular scenario, going up against two guys armed with assault rifles armed only with a pistol would be a suicide mission. Luckily, these are incompetent jihadists we’re talking about, but still. Word is, the cop was on a cigarette break. Ergo, smoking saves lives. 

Look, soldiers of Allah: Texas is not, I repeat, IS NOT, France. If you expected a similar situation as the Charlie Hebdo massacre, you were sorely mistaken. Texans love guns. Texans love shooting guns. Texans do not care for jihadists. THEY WILL KILL YOU.

Instantly, I knew this was some sort of crazed terrorist attack. But there always has to be the pearl-clutchers telling us all to wait, fervently hoping that it was some crazy right-winger pissed off about chem trails, 9/11, the federal reserve, or immigrants. Like an idiot, as soon as I heard the news, I had to scan through that virtual wretched hive of scum and villainy known as Twitter (note the timestamp-before anyone identified the shooters):