The fitness community is made up of countless sub-categories based on both the ends you’re pursuing and the means you’re willing to use to get there. Crossfit guys gather around their water coolers and make fun of bodybuilders, bodybuilders watch distance runners waste away on their treadmills and chuckle, and people who see working out as nothing but a means to improve at their sport of preference scoff at folks that exercise just for the sake of exercise.

This kind of rivalry is natural, and if you don’t take yourself too seriously, it can be a great way to lighten the mood in the gym while the lettuce eating fat burners shuffle around the protein pounding muscle builders that are hogging the bench even though they’ve probably only touched the bar twice in the last twenty minutes. On a long enough timeline, everybody’s an asshole, and part of the fun in working out with a group of people you get along with is getting to call one another out on it, but there’s one sect of the fitness community that just irks me. Their jokes are mean-spirited. Their delivery wreaks of false superiority. Their “empowered” hypocrisy boils my blood.

I’m talking, of course, about women who tell other women that lifting weights will make them “manly.”

Before I go on, let’s get the Twitter outrage talking points out of the way: I’m a man, and as such, I understand that I don’t have the perspective a woman gains through a lifetime spent in the gender. As far as some women are concerned, my gender alone makes me ill-equipped to discuss the social interactions I’ve observed between women — and before those messages come rolling into my inbox, allow me to address them up front. While I’m critical of women who choose to demean others for choosing to lift weights, I’m not doing so out of some sense of social superiority — hell, I’m not even pulling from the breadth of experience I have training female athletes or working out alongside female competitors.

In fact, nothing about my own gender identity is informing my utter distaste for these naysayers — it’s science that says that you’re wrong. All I’m saying is that you’re a jerk.

Now, I know there are plenty of old-school men out there that also believe weight training will make women into big, bulky dudes — but we can all agree that the 65-year-old man angrily mashing keys with caps lock on under videos of female Crossfit competitors, while a poisonous human being, isn’t worth our time or consideration. No, it’s not the nameless internet tough guys that really get under my skin, it’s the way I’ve seen so many women look their friends right in the face and tell them, “lifting those weights is going to make you look like a man!”

And the countless more I’ve overheard from the treadmill criticizing the women they see over by the weights for “trying to get bulky” or, worse, for “just trying to get attention” where all the men are lifting.