Before the seventh century, the Chinese already had their version of a truly modern-day American crisis. It was just another flavor of an age-old hullabaloo that stirs wherever neighbors are aware of other neighbors; the tendency to go mess with them and take their stuff is just too overpowering, and then it’s game on!
The only way people will truly get along is if there is only one person in the world. That level of serenity was only ever enjoyed by the likes of Adam. There were no rules in existence at that time; Adam did just what he wanted, when he wanted, and there was great rejoicing throughout the land.
Then in stepped the fair maiden Eve. Adam thought the creator must just be “ribbing” him; this couldn’t be for real. At once there arose the need for rules—rules if two people were expected to get along. The first rule on earth was that Adam must pee with the toilet seat up, and he must lower it when he is done. That was actually the first commandment.
You know the rest of the story: Adam and Eve hooked up, and next thing you know Eve ruined everything for everybody. Adam lost his home (Garden of Eden), his life savings, his kids, his truck, and his Ski-Doo (with trailer). A neighbor had noticed another neighbor, had messed with him and taken his stuff. This was this earliest known version of a rumble in the jungle known to Western mankind.
Then, around 220 B.C.E., the Chinese grew weary of their neighbors to the north—the Mongolian nomadic people of the Eurasian Steppe, who were constantly messing with them and trying to take their stuff. Even a couple of hundred years before our lord, people were already savvy with the congenital instinct telling them that, to keep someone away from you, you have to put a barrier between the two of you—build a wall!
So many years later, America faces the same scourge as the Chinese, only in our case we are plagued by our neighbors to the south trying to mess with us and take our stuff. But we’ll have none of that; we’ll build a wall just like the Qin Dynasty Chinese did. Worked out just fine for them. How could more than a billion Chinese be wrong?
I have old-fashioned faith in the fundamental consistency of force to ultimately umpire a dispute between two feuding states. Yes, after the smart folks have finished trying to smart their way through a rub, and all the politicians have tried to talk their way through a beef, well, it comes time for some homegrown force.
We have seen with our own eyes that the use of diplomacy isn’t working. We can’t ask illegal immigrants nicely enough to stop entering our country. Meanwhile, all the thinking in Fort Knox hasn’t been able to stop the illegal influx. All the beautiful people are completely devoid of genius ideas. Time to force the wandering Mongols to stay out with a barrier.
I’m particularly proud of POTUS’ penchant for solving perplexing problems by applying some Eastern philosophy to the matter. Confucius (confuse us), whose name you would never recognize if you ever heard it pronounced correctly, says, “When neighbor enters home unannounced and uninvited, you close door.”
China’s old-school wall solved a national disaster. If you disagree, then how come after 5,000 years they are still “the Chinese?” How come China’s proven solution to their national identity was a brilliant idea in China, but a stupid move in the U.S.?
Is it just a stupid idea purely because it’s a Donny Trump idea? Isn’t that really it? Is it at all even possible for DT to ever do anything right if we just didn’t really like him in the first place? If you are a typical inane American drone, the answer to that question might be, “No, no it isn’t possible.”
Would all those who poo-poo the wall kindly stand now and state your own brilliant idea that will end the immigration crisis between Mexico and the U.S.?
And all the John Lennon fans join hands and start swaying side to side in unison, singing, “All we are saaaa-yiiiing…is give Trump a chance.”
By almighty God and with honor,
(Bet you thought I was going to post Pink Floyd’s “Another Brick in the Wall”)
Dedication for this piece goes to the National Command Authority (NCA) of the United States of America.