While college kids can be self-righteous as hell, I guess it is better for them to believe in something rather than to believe in nothing.  Yeah, they are a bunch of lefty kids, but so were our parents before they grew up, became good Republicans, and started cheating on their tax returns, so what can you really do?

Yes, college kids lean to the left and I don’t think that is the end of the world.  These are kids who basically have no political influence (whoops, is this the sit down and shut up speech?) so it isn’t anything worth getting worked up about.  However, there is a strain of ultra-leftist feminist brainwashed cult members who can be obnoxious in their irrelevancy for the rest of us Johns, Dicks, and Harrys trying to go about our day.  These are the feminist zealots who believe that the history of the world consists of little but male patriarchies brutally oppressing women, which of course continues to this day.

There is a legitimate push for women’s rights.  Women shouldn’t be sexually harassed in the work place or given less wages than men because of their gender.  However, there is a threshold which modern feminists cross where they turn female liberation into male oppression, if not outright stupidity.  What follows is one blatant example from Columbia University while I was a student there.

A while back, Gawker and several other blogs posted video of a handful of feminist Columbia students and/or alumni sticking it to male patriarchs everywhere by getting naked in Butler Library, smearing the floor with egg whites, pouring milk over themselves, making out with each other, and shaking their milky white cans on camera. I know what you’re thinking…don’t threaten me with a good time, sugar pants.

The stacks down in the archives at Butler Library are certainly one of the stranger places at Columbia University. I grew up watching Ghostbusters, so I know some gnarly shit can happen in the subterranean depths of the library. Whenever I go down there, my combat senses are at full alert. I’ve even remarked to other students that I stay on guard, ever watchful for stack weirdoes. Who are the stack weirdoes? Oh, you know. Those perves who draw pee pees and wee wees in the margins of library books. The threat is real. Now, I was channeling my spidey senses to be on the lookout for these perverts creeping around the library, but little did I know that I really needed to be on the lookout for some hot lesbian feminists.

I assure you, the stacks are never this interesting!

So listen, I get it. I’m a white male privileged white male. A chauvinist. A misogynist. A tool of imperial imposition on third-world peoples. I’m a war monger playing the mandolin for the military-industrial complex and all that, but I still don’t fucking get what the point of these shenanigans in Butler Library are. These girls are out to call attention…to something…something oppressive no doubt.

Here is the reality. If this video was made by a half dozen aging, overweight Costa Rican nannies on the upper east side, exactly zero fucks would be given by anyone, anywhere. It is only by objectifying themselves in the realm of (mostly male) experience and fantasy that anyone pays attention. Why are they paying attention? Because they are skinny white girls privileged skinny white girls sporting a nice rack or two between the lot of them.

Now, I know my professors would no doubt be disappointed in my eduction and pedagogical methods if I did not post some facts and figures along with this article. So here goes. Fact: the average tuition fee at Columbia is $46,846 per year, not including additional fees and expenses such as room, board, and books. That means that the parents of these co-eds are paying something like $50,000 a year for these hunnies to shake their jugs in the stacks in some bizarre attempt at social commentary.

Apparently Columbia has a lot of gender tension.  I can't imagine why.
Apparently, Columbia has a lot of gender tension. I can’t imagine why.

Another fact, I recently received an e-mail from the president of Columbia that attempted to take a stern hardline against this sort of behavior. President Bollinger wrote, “Gender-based misconduct and sexual assault have no place in our community. Period.”  So where do the floppy blue rubber chicken, dairy products, and hot girl-on-girl action in Butler Library figure into all of that? I think we all know that if I even talked about doing something like this as a joke, I’d be expelled immediately. If I pulled out my junk in public, they would have the NYPD threatening to give me the needle for my sex crimes within the hour.

One of these young ladies, named Coco Young said, “You know—as a girl—there’s definitely a weird gender tension.” Well, there’s a no-shitter for all you red-blooded sexist pigs out there. Girls showing their tits and making out with each other creates this really weird gender tension! Well, no shit, I had no idea!

Coco continues: “Butler is an extremely charged space—the names emblazoned on the stone facade are, for me, a stimulant for resistance. I work in Butler but sometimes feel suffocated by it. The point was to transgress the relative conservatism (and it’s history) of the space with this hysterical intervention.”

Ah, now we get to the roast-beef sandwich of this profane demonstration. They are situationists straight out of some commie white paper written by Guy Debord! You know, the whole school of, “We smoke the capitalist’s cigarettes in order to mock the capitalist’s every action.” Bullshit. This is the worst excuse for exhibitionist T&A I’ve ever heard…as if it ever needed one to begin with (<—male chauvinist comment).

Real feminists should be out stalking the parks for rapists, holding them at gunpoint, and castrating them with a broken Coke bottle. This is just some chickenshit amateur porn from some girls who are afraid to do straight gonzo with male talent out in LA. Give me a fucking break.

That’s why I give these so-called radical feminists the people’s elbow.

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