Ekranoplans or Ground Effect Vehicles (GEVs), are an aircraft-hovercraft-ship hybrid that glides at low altitudes above the land or sea, which are capable of swiftly moving equipment and personnel.

In 2015, plans for the A-050 Ekranoplan were allegedly underway at the Russian Federation, Central Hydrofoil Design Bureau (CHDB). A model of one of the A-050’s variants was displayed at the MAKS, Moscow International Aviation and Space Show. At the show, the CHDB boasted that the new Ekranoplan will be capable of take-off at a hefty weight of 54 tons and that the craft will also be able to add a maximum 9 tons to its mass while still managing take-off and flight. Those are some odd numbers, as the C5 Galaxy weighs 380,000 lbs, and can take flight after adding an additional 460,000 lbs.

Yet those whacky Tetris playing CHDB flight engineers in Russia are sticking to their story and claim that their Spruce Goose will achieve these odd-ball claims with R-195 booster engines, which have a lift capacity of 9,480 lbs. So they’ll only need to mount a minimum of thirteen engines onto their monstrosity to meet their promises. Albeit, the prototype model only displays eight engines. The FSB intelligence agent sales team . . . I mean the CHDB flight engineers behind the design also claim that their Ekranoplan will have a cruising speed of 250 to 300 miles per hour,  and a range of 3,000 miles. Even though the aircraft is short, five required engines to get off the ground.

Further, a second A-050 Ekranoplan variant, explicitly for military purposes is said to be underway. Plans are supposedly set to arm the GEV with cruise missiles, forward cannons, and machine guns. I’m sure some expert Tetris skills are required to work out how that thing is going to launch fricking cruise missiles and rock forward firing cannons.