. . . Or swipe right and at least get a free lunch, and possibly find yourself on a cattle truck for a nice session of basic training and chill. Roll the dice, but either way, you’re most likely to get screwed.

Across the country, a new front on the millennial has been launched by the geniuses at recruiting command. A string of rather unique profiles were posted on the hook-up app Tinder—albeit these applicants of internet lust are as misleading as the many bots, which plague the app. Instead of looking to hit it and quit it, these uniformed Tinderellas are seeking recruits.