Say Your Goodbyes to the Venerable Scrotum Frog

The venerable scrotum frog in all its glory.


It strikes me as oddly indecorous that an obscure story like this even makes it into the news in today’s world.

“In a coordinated effort, the governments of Bolivia and Peru, with the support of the U.N., have formed a cross-border conservation team to protect the species, which has a body length of up to 8 inches (20cm).”

First of all, this species lives in Lake Titicaca is located in both Peru and Bolivia. Those people are queer with their naming scheme — a scrotum frog that lives in Titicaca. Do you know what Titicaca means in Spanish? It means the same thing that it means in English — titi and caca — I wouldn’t want to go swimming there!

Ah, and America through its U.N. affiliation is part of the powerful joint task force trifecta to look into the matter and get it turned around — we need to send some troops over there! We need to preserve the alliances that we have with Peru and Bolivia out of the mad respect we have for their multiple bluewater carrier groups and their space programs.

I strongly suggest that Trump passes a bill to divert all federal BLM/ANTIFA riot reconstruction funds, as well as all COVID-19 antidote research funds into a fund to restore the livelihood of this nasty frog named after the ball sack of the Howard Johnson.

I’m pretty sure Trump’s staff shook him awake last night at 0300 local D.C. hours when this story broke so they could form a committee to start straw-manning and spitballing schemes of maneuver to attack this conundrum.