Pompous Piece of Poo-Poo Pelosi Pontificates on Peril of People of Pastel

Lobotomy survivor, Pelosi, during her monumentally embarrassing “I could have been black” ceremony.

(Speculative and anecdotal narrative:)

Yes, if you catch up to princess Pelosi you’ll probably find her thumbing through her new stack of 2 Live Crew and Suga Free Gangsta Rapp CDs. She sent in some spittle to Ancestry.com and traced her genealogy to the Khoisan people of southern Africa. That came as a big surprise, but there was no use fighting her true roots — she vowed to represent them.

Appeared Pelosi needed to piece-up a placating plan to please and appease her peeps, showing off her newly-discovered innate ability to understand Africa — she knew just how to get through to the African-American community. “Hmmm…. need to think… got to think! Say, remember that show Roots? There was the slave Kunta Kente from The Gambia!” A quick Google brought up Kente cloth: “Say yeah, we can all wear a kente scarf to show our love — this is going to be the best demo ever! I’ll bring the democratic nation together and we’ll crush those swine on the right.”