Warning: strong content
Unmasked Maiden Makes Mockery of Market Madam over Mask
You know New Yorkers and Long Islanders are renowned for being a little quick on the gas; some can go from zero to jackass in a Staten Island second:
“Ma’am, you need to put your mask on.”
“Fuck you, you fat bitch — I’ll beat the fucking shit outta you!”
It’s like those two remarks are missing an escalation exchange of several sentences between them. I’m well aware that this whole mask conundrum is a mystery to most of us. Why do folks not wear masks? Why do they lose their feces when you ask them to put on a mask. Why do people tell other people to put on a mask rather than just leave them alone to contract diseases? Masks prevent the virus. Masks cause the virus. Mask-wearing makes you a communist and a Nazi. To ask a person to wear a mask will invite at a minimum the following well-thought-out retorts:
“This is American; we live in Americ; America is a free country!” No need to jot down any notes there.
“What are you, a Nazi commie?” Fair question from a stranger, I guess.
“I have constitutional rights!” Super! How does one break into this realm of constitutional rights? I definitely want in on that deal.
“I have a note from my doctor stating I can’t wear a mask!” Sure, I’ll bet she got some kid at recess to write that note for her.
“Shut up you fat bitch, I’ll beat the fucking shit out of you!” Ouch!
You can watch the video right here!
I don’t understand the mask debacle either. I for one do wear one, but more so people can’t see me sticking my tongue out at them. I wear gloves as well, but I pull all my fingers down from the finger tubes except the middle one, and then I wave at everyone. Thank God for the virus; I can finally express myself in public and bleed off all the stress of the mouthy fat bitches at the market.
*waving spiritedly with gloved hand* Hello there, Ma’am… my, that appears to be the entire market’s store of toilet paper you have crowbarred there into your cart — you must be planning on eating at Taco Bell a lot? What’s that?? Why… I have every intention of fully beating the fucking shit out of you as well, you portly prig!”
Read Next: China is Unsettled by Russia’s Military Failures in Ukraine, CIA Chief Confirms
*waving vigorously with gloved hand* Hello there Sir, I believe there is a two-case limit per customer on the Mountain Dew; you appear to have, let’s see… 19, 20, 21, 22, 23 cases there in your cart stacked up in effigy to the Leaning Tower of Pisa. What’s that? I most certainly will NOT go to hell, my good man!”
*waving fanatically with gloved hand* Hello there, Ma’am! What? I’ll beat the fucking shit out of you too, you fat bitch!”
Nude Nincompoop Gets Clock Cleaned by Pissed Pedestrian
I’d like to open this story now with a little treat for the Ladies of SOFREP (LOS):
This is a feel-good story because I know how fed up we all are with ANTIFA and BLM’s BS behavior, with their protests and their traffic disrupting. How does the above even make a statement? How does being naked make any statement at all? I remember when Taco Bell started limiting the number of hot sauce packets they issued out. I stood outside my house naked for over a week in protest… no budging by Taco Bell. Hell, nobody even asked me what I was protesting against.
When a guy like this stands naked in public to “Protest”… I think the actual protest from our perspective is much stronger than whatever beef this guy has with the world.
You can watch the feel-good video here if you don’t want to chase it down on the website. How about that Ukraine brother that steps out of the car? I would take one look at that dude, jump aside, and throw on a jumpsuit. He is like… Wu-Tang Clan-class nothing to phuq with! First of all, he is already majorly pissed off because he is in Ukraine, and with him not holding down the gas a little to keep his car running at idle, the engine could die and not start up again for days. Hard luck on the butt-bearing boy for picking Ukraine’s Mike Tyson to act out in front of.
Remember the Thai Monk Thich (tick)? Quang Duc who doused himself with petrol and lit himself on fire in Vietnam to protest the war? That was hardCORE! The sad news is he forgot to tell anyone what he was protesting, so what you had was a whole lot of Vietnamese standing around him shrugging and shaking their heads.
“Damn, son — that is hardcore! Does anyone know why he is doing this?”
“Nope, he never said a word, just poured petrol and… flame on!”
“I heard someone say he was protesting Taco Bell’s sauce rationing.”
That whole disturbing event (to me) begs the question: how did Thich make the pick for that special task?
“Hey… who’s not doing anything right now?”
“I found a Playboy magazine in the monastery this morning — when I find out who is responsible, there will be dire consequences to pay, brothers.”
“No really, right at that instant, we all rush in with fire extinguishers — you won’t feel a thing!”
They made a short flick about Thich titled: Time Ticks Down Quick for Thich; Sick Flames Lick Thich most Ricky-Tick.
It would be great if ANTIFA and BLM would adopt this protest method in full-on Jim Jones-class mass immolation. That would free up a $hite-ton of skateboards, BMX bicycles, scooters, flutes, really really crappy clothes that even a turd wouldn’t wear on a midnight stroll in the country, and tens of thousands of cans of colored spray paint.
Krafty Canucks Condone Cringeworthy “Glory Holes” During Pandemic
Yes, Glory Holes are the answer to safe sex during the pandemic per official circles in British Colombia — even the Crown condones the practice. That is super how the northern neighbors have got pandemic sex crisis all figured out. Yeah but no… no, that just isn’t how the body works — eh? If we can’t even breathe on each other or touch a handrail that someone else touched, seems like sex is not very sustainable, and sex is pretty much the “ultimate touch”– eh?
So the best way to go about having sex during the pandemic is to… not have it. Yeah, but that idea boat’s bilge is flooded and it’s going straight down. Face facts: folks are going to do it anyway. For the sake of the Creator on high, people aren’t willing to give up Mountain Dew or frozen pizzas during the pandemic — what ARE they willing to give up? Nothing, that’s what.
(At Kroger’s) “Ok, we might be without food for six months. You go get as many of the Stouffers Frozen macaroni and cheese pizzas that your father likes, and I go fill my basket with Monster drink. Oh, and grab some jars of those little cocktail onions, and I’ll get a case of camomile tea! AND GRAB SOME BIG BAGS OF THE BLUE COTTON CANDY FOR YOUR BROTHER!!”
Those people won’t be out in their backyard starting a fire with a bow and stick anytime soon. I just can’t picture that woman stomping through the brush with a big ol’ butchered hind quarter from a wild pig slung over her shoulder and a K-bar pinned in her apron strings.
I think the jerked meat cache in their base camp might be a little vacant, and their palm leaf water cistern a bit shallow. But the mac-n-cheese pizzas are holding out; they are just having to cram them down their gullets as fast as they can because the power went out days ago.
Zhong Guo’s Glutton for Ice-G’s Gung Ho Garments
This shirt stands alone in its synergy of the late Mao Tse Tung and the venerable B. Obama. When I look at this shirt, I know how those two guys felt when they collided while one was eating chocolate and the other peanut butter. The enormity of the combination was just so overpowering that most people would never be the same. Bravo, Ice-G!
“My, my… these Euros sure are warm and friendly to us Chinese!”
This phrase is actually a real thing — it means something; it’s important… like when Richard Dryfus made that mock Devil’s Tower out of his mashed potatoes in Close Encounters. It’s actually a pithy and aphoristic distillation of: Be less stupid with your thinking on a more frequent basis. We’re not all just pretty faces and big boobs at Ice-G’s Gung Ho garments!
Hellz yeahz, Chico Line… as she dances like Uma Therman and John Travolta in Pulp fiction… or a very early Batman dancing the Batussi
geo’s Pun Meme of the Week:
geo’s Classic Art Meme of the Week:
I just had to include this police officer with a sterling sense of humor:
By Almighty God and with honor,
There are on this article.
You must become a subscriber or login to view or post comments on this article.